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He is Pressuring You!

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Feeling overwhelmed

Submitted by Robin (United States), Oct 16, 2019 at 12:45

If he truly loved YOU, he would understand your concerns. You're right, it is a huge responsibility. And to be honest, the chances of him passing the visa interview are slim. The immigration officials are very perceptive, and they can tell whether the potential immigrant is sincere. They don't make it easy, because they know the emotional barrel he has you over, and consequently you are unable to see things clearly. There would be no confusion on your part if he was sincere, okay? If it was simply YOU he was in love with, he would be fine with you being with him in his country. They use the "you wouldn't be happy here" as the reason that wouldn't work. Bella, no man who loved you would pressure you in this way, or place this burden on you. You are the one taking all of the risks. He knows this. He has nothing to lose by marrying you, whereas you have EVERYTHING to lose. Take it from someone who knows. These men are shameless. After spending thousands of dollars, if you are successful in bringing him to your country he will only use you further. He will have no loyalty to you. You are simply a means to an end. I didn't want to believe this when people said this about my husband, but they were right. You're telling yourself, "But they don't know him like I do," aren't you? Because other people are not emotionally invested like you are, they can see things clearly. I wish I had listened, but I thought love conquered all. Not only does it not, but this is not love. If you continue down this path, you will regret it later. I consider myself to be very lucky that the immigration official denied my husband's visa, though I was devastated at the time. They have you so brainwashed and mesmerized as long as you continue to have contact with them. Break it off for awhile - a month, say. He's not going anywhere. But don't communicate with him. The distance will hopefully give you more perspective. I don't want to see another one of these men destroy a woman's life. Please, put your feelings aside and think with your head, for your own sake.

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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