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Jackie I am really concerned

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Response to Coming to Algeria

Submitted by Chelsea, Jul 26, 2018 at 20:24

I have to write again because you are so much on my mind. You remind me so much of how I was before I went to the middle east. I was so in love and thought this was the perfect man. My love for him and his reassuring words made me feel that it was going to be ok. But now I wish that my friends would have handcuffed me to a pole to keep me from going.

The reason is even after I ended it is that it took a lot of time to get over the constant viber calls and skype calls and wanting to know where I was. It got really old and really started getting on my nerves. something I thought was love at first was nothing but control. It is not so sweet after 2 years of working my behind off with immigration. It also effected my emotions so that I lost trust for everyone. He stalked me online, had numerous FB accounts and would try to guilt me into continuing the process. My trust was gone.

I admit I was a fool, but like you, I could not understand how someone could do a person like that. It is called desperation. And I too wanted him to have a happy life....just that I was losing mine and it got down to him or me. I chose me. Not just for me but I could not bring a liar to my family friends or country and also it was the best choice for him as well. The culture would have been mindblowing to him and I am from the south and if he said some things that I was telling him he could not say here....he would have taken a beating from these good ole boys here. So it was best for all parties concerned....but it hurt like hell to do it. And the recovery time was about 3 years for me.

As my mind settled I could see it clearly. I had made a mistake. But life turned out good anyway and it can for you too. I just don't want you to go over and get the royal treatment and think that it is real for they are great actors. We can't save the world no matter how we would like to.

Jackie....my intentions were to stay with him there but the family would not leave us alone and he would never stand up to them for me. But he was treating me oh so special while I was there. Once I got back to the US and went through 2 years of immigration proceedings and crying every night....things were different. It is not love to use someone or even to let them go through the stress of processing paperwork. And the kicker is that he never sat up not even one night in 2 years to comfort me as I cried. I do not want to see you go through that.

I saw the red flags and chose to ignore them. I have never hated anyone in my life but I came to hate him. It is very cruel to play on someones emotions. I even hated him for endangering my life while I was there and even asking me to come with the lie that his country was peaceful. That is not love.

I don't hate him anymore and hardly even think of him. I do pray for him and his family and that was hard.

I am glad you came to the forum and believe God led you here to protect you. How do you know he is not talking to other women? You don't, just like I did not. But they do.

He is to support you and not the opposite. A man that will let a woman slave for him and then still cheat on her is not a man. You deserve better. You have a kind heart and in this world there are more takers than givers.

I know I know that his words of love are beautiful but once you marry...things will change.

Moreover consider this. If you were to have children....they will have to be muslim. And they go to the father and his family if you split up. I know that my other postings are a little harsh but so is this world you really don't know.

Please be wise.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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