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Re: Kurdish man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Hi Lina

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Jan 22, 2020 at 05:20

Hi Tracey, did you meet him in Turkey by any chance? The Kurds in Turkey don't have a very good reputation. I would be very wary of meeting someone on holiday - a lot of the time we fall in love with a fantasy, and due to the fact that we're only seeing them in intervals it helps to perpetuate that fantasy.

What I mean to say is you don't really know someone from a few weeks' holiday. I think you really need to spend more time with him, so you can see whether you're actually happy to be with him long term.

I forgot to mention my Kurdish ex did get engaged behind my back (it later broke off), but this was while our relationship was fizzling out. Still, it completely took me aback as I had no idea he was even involved with another woman, let alone that. I saw them holding hands on Instagram of all places lol. So, you'd be surprised how good men can be at leading double lives, and it does happen a lot over there because the women are usually kept at home anyway. If her man tells her to stay home and don't venture out - that's what she'll do. Their social media usage is usually monitored as well, making it easier for the men to keep both women in the dark.

The way Kurdish men treat their women is usually a lot different to how they treat foreigners. They will usually not sleep with them before marriage and the tradition is to buy them gold or pay a sum of money. However, that's not to say all the women are treated like princesses. The quality of each marriage differs depending on the nature of the husband. So if you want to pursue this, I think you really need to get to know him more, and also see what he's like when he's angry. Meeting his family so soon is also a red flag, because a lot of the time men will do this to lower your boundaries and make things seem more legit.

So, keep your wits about you. A woman's intuition never lies.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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