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American married a Syrian Kurdish man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by JC (United States), Nov 1, 2019 at 00:18

Hello ladies,

I married my husband in February of this year and have felt miserable roughly every 2-3 weeks since that day. He is extremely emotionally manipulative of me. He monitors when I'm on Facebook or Twitter. He always wants to know how long I'm going to be at the store, when am I coming home. He always wants me to call him once I get home and rarely gives me the time to call him back. He's calling me before I even pull into my driveway. The constant monitoring wear me down and is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

He blames me for how he acts. He always tells me "I don't care." He constantly thinks I'm cheating on him but in the next sentence tells me he trusts me. He always wants me to show him where I'm at so he can make sure I'm not with anyone. He freaked out on me once because he heard a man's voice over the phone. It was the waiter bringing me my food.

Every time the phone rings my stomach is knotted because I'm not sure if it's him and I am never sure what kind of mood he will be in.

I haven't talked with him in 4 days and I don't plan on talking with him again until I am filing for a divorce. He cut himself the other day and sent me a picture blaming me, as usual. I love him so much but I have to also love me. He is not mentally well and his issues aren't for me to fix. He is unwilling to be self accountable for anything.

Thank you God that I didn't become pregnant. I don't like to lump Arab men into groups but the majority of these men all seem to have issues with women. Culturally, I don't think most of these men even know what a healthy relationship between a man and a woman even looks or feels like. My husband can't understand that women and men/girls and boys in America are brought up together playing with each other and can have platonic relationships. It's so sad because his view of women overall is that we aren't trustworthy.

If you even have a little bit of doubt in the back of your mind or if something is just off BUT you keep making excuses for his behavior, please run far away.

Peace, love, and hugs to all of you reading this.

JC

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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