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Dating a Moroccan for 9 months

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Bella (United States), Oct 1, 2019 at 15:30

Hi,

I met this Moroccan man through a dating site. I am divorced with 2 teenage kids and I'm 8 years older than him. I'm 37 and he is 29. He has never been married and has no children. He lives in Morocco and I live in America.

About 6 months into the relationship I bought a plane ticket to visit him in Morocco. Before I went to see him he was fixing up his house to receive me. He bought a house for his family and he lives with them. He installed a toilet because apparently they never owned a toilet. When I arrived For the first few days we stayed with his parents. We slept separately. His family was very welcoming and very nice. We traveled together alone to Marrakesh and Agadir where we did have sex. And he attempted to get me pregnant because he hoped we marry soon. I am not pregnant. We had the most amazing time together. I went to Morocco for 2 weeks and it was such a great time.

Fast forward 3 months and he is asking me when I will visit him again and he is really pushing marriage. He wants to have children and he wants to build a family. He claims he does not want to wait to long to have children and he wants to live with me. He does not want to procrastinate and get things moving. For one, he made it clear to me that he does intend on working here (USA) to pay off his house in Morocco and he wants to be debt free in his country. He wants to buy a home with me once his house is paid off.

I don't really understand his way of thinking because he wants me to have his child while we wait for the approval of him coming here. He says he is thinking about everything including my age and if we want to build a family we should start as soon as possible. I tried breaking up with him because I'm thinking about this. He does not make enough money in his country, what will he do here when he arrives, and I'm 37 my children are grown and to start over having Kids. He cries and cries and cries when I attempt to leave him. But I know I deserve better.

I sometimes start to think of the pretty side to things. Like, this man is gorgeous and having a fairytale wedding and birthing his children sounds like a dream. Then I start to think of the not so pretty side, he makes no money hardly, if he comes to this country I will be responsible for him. And just the thought of this makes the pretty side to things go away really fast. It's sad because him and I could be really happy.

Maybe if my children did not live with me (they were fully grown with careers and moved out) and I was wild I could make this wild and crazy decision. But I'm thinking about them, I'm thinking about my finances, and how I deserve someone on my level. Who can take me higher not bring me down.

With all this said, I seriously can't get rid of this guy because he has great manipulation skills. Tells me he will harm himself, he deserves happiness and wife and children, why did I let him love me and allow him to dream, he is full of drama. He sends me pictures of him crying, voice messages of him crying, and when he knows I'm attempting to break up with him or we are fighting all of the air in his lungs magically disappear like if he has asthma. I wish it can work out, I wish he was already in this country. He tells me that I should wait for me and our love could pevail the struggles. At who's expense? Mine of course.

What do you think?

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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