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Do All You Can & Be There for Her

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Daughter has child with Moroccan man

Submitted by TravelwithWonder (United States), Sep 22, 2019 at 13:45

I am 40 and met my Moroccan man at 27. We are the same age - it just happened that way. Over the course of 12 years, he has popped in and out of my life. He was always trying to run a play. When one didn't work, he'd run another and then another. He never quit and when anger didn't work, he'd use compassion, manipulation, and gaslighting. It was a terrible, guilt-ridden cycle. I finally had to be the one to walk away and leave him with the last word.

Our imaginations are powerful and when we want to believe something is, we make it happen until the fantasy becomes our truth.

You mention your daughter needing a daily dose of methadone. Obtaining this in Morocco will be impossible. Drugs are illegal just like sex before marriage. It will also add fuel to the fire of his family seeing her as unfit and she will lose her son.

I'm not an expert on love but I have spent a lot of time in cultures vastly different from my own. Observing cultural expectations is not only respectful, but required in Muslim countries.

If your daughter insists on going, then you and your husband should accompany her for support, and if she argues, tell her, her happiness is paramount to you and that you want her to be happy. You do not need to agree with her choices but should she and her son go alone, you will not rest.

This being said, it is best that she and her son stay here and not go because chances of her losing her son are extremely high but if she refuses to listen and refuses your help, you need to let her make her own choices.

It's terrible and awful, but she needs to figure it out for herself.

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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