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DEAR LORNA

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Lana

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Oct 10, 2018 at 14:34

Oh dear!!!!

You are very hurt and vulnerable at this moment and is it's an easy way for someone to manipulate you to the state of cognitive dissonance.
This is very dangerous!
The more you confused,puzzled,scared-the easier it is for him to get what he wants from you!!!
I was in the beginning of such thing but was able to pull it off before he got me completely!

In modern world everyone can be anyone behind the computer screen,so you have to be very careful with what and whom you are sharing your personal information that could be easily used against you.

Lorna,please read as many articles as you can on Narcissism and hooverin.
Keep a journal to write down your thoughts,but don't share it with him,keep it to yourself.

Trust me,with time,one day you will read it over and think of that as something that once took place,but no longer part of your life.
You need to distance yourself from him,to be by yourself and to draw your boundaries,that absolutely no one should cross,or he will be out of your life.
When you are vulnerable and hurt,those predators prey on you and your emotions making you an easy target.

Remember that YOU AND ONLY YOU are responsible for your own happiness .You should seek it inside of you.And that is why it is very important to be by yourself for a while so that you can hear your inner self!

No one has a right to dictate how your life should be,no matter what!
You can go on a trip to a pretty destinations,such as for example,Italy,read an interesting new book,learn new skills (painting for example)....Workd and life is so much bigger than him!
He may come and go but it is his choice,but you should not worry about him.
YOU ARE THE WHOLE BEAUTIFUL AND STRING PERSON,with him or without.REMEMBER THAT!

Life has so many beautiful things to see,to learn,to explore-you don't need him to show them to you.You can do it yourself!!!

You have to find your passio for hobby(I found it in scrapbooking and photography.You can try it too.Or writing,or seeing/knitting,etc).
Life is beautiful and is open for you to explore,Lorna.

Do not lose the sense of who you are,no matter what!
Don't let someone with his dirty feet into your life!

There is a good YouTube channel called SoulGPS,it has good information on how to get over the Narcissistic abuse.

He is an abuser,and you don't need someone who preys on you!
Especially someone you never met and your mind tries to fill in the gaps of missing information about this person with emotions and fantasy.

By any means,I never ever considered you stupid or on meds....I am sorry if I made you think otherwise.
When you depressed and going thro tremendous emotional pain,you are not yourself.

Your emotions block your intelligence and you will be craving for an illusion of the future faking,he created in your mind!

I wish you all the best!!!
Big hugs!
Much love,

Lana

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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