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Re: American Woman, Egyptian ManReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Drifting (United Arab Emirates), Jan 3, 2015 at 02:02 Hello, everyone. Thank you for all your concerned responses. I've read all these concerns which is why I was seeking anyone with successful stories, as I wanted to compare the difference between the successes and failures. I have found a number of people speaking out on YouTube and have met a couple people nearby who have had successful marriages to Egyptian men, so I've been able to do a little comparison to see what makes for a good match. We'll see. To respond to some of your concerns, no, he never asks me for money. I explained to him that we "go Dutch" in America, but he said that is harem to take money from a woman. He says that women are to be treated as princesses, and that is how he treats me. Telling him I didn't want sex brought us closer. He seemed ashamed that he was being so forward. He did tell me a little about his former girlfriend. He didn't have enough money to marry her at the time, so she married someone else. It seemed to have broken his heart. It was a long time ago. There was also someone he had a fling with once, but he won't tell me much about that. He says it was harem and that he has made peace with his god. I told him that he needs to show an interest in the things that are important to me for this to work. I think he was surprised. We do have some communication challenges. I realize that it was a very big cultural difference, the things that are important to me and how I talk about them. I explained the differences between our cultures and he totally got it. He has been wonderful in this regard. I try to reciprocate. There are definitely things important to him that are a stretch for me to understand. We've talked about America. He doesn't want to go there. He gets paid better here than he would in America and he's much closer to Egypt. He didn't talk to me for a couple days and I asked why. He said that he didn't think I would want him if he couldn't move to America. He was afraid he wouldn't find a job, wouldn't be able to see his parents, would be looked down upon by Americans, wouldn't be able to find halal food or places to pray, etc. We talked about it and he said he would be willing to move sometime in the future if he found a job, if it was really important to me, but for now this place works out better for both of us. We did talk about men who marry women for visas, and he explained that the economy in Egypt is really bad and some men are desperate. He said that it is a certain class or kind of man who do things like that. He said that the rest of them tend to move out of the country to find work in the Middle East, like he did. I told him what my prenup terms would be if we got married, and that I would be protected under American law, just in case. He seemed sad that I didn't trust him, but it didn't change his behavior at all. We want the same things. After reading about people who have had successful marriages with Egyptian men, I realize that it's primarily the cultural difference that one must breach. They are almost all living in Egypt or near enough that the man can visit. They almost all fit well into the Muslim culture. My previous relationship was very similar and I always felt out of place with the American way of doing relationships. A lot of the things that you folks are painting as negatives are actually positives to me. I know you don't understand this. I am very grateful for all your honesty about the things that have gone wrong and everything to be cautious about. Because of you, I am investigating what could go wrong if my happily ever after turns out to be all in my imagination. I have not lived a naiive life and don't intend to now. I'll let you know how it goes. Submitting....
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