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My 2 Cents

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Standfree (United States), Jun 2, 2014 at 04:45

I have read and reread so many of these post for over a year now. It's taken that long to get back from Egypt to my own country. It took a lot of planning some big cash exchange and some awesome people I will forever be grateful to. My decent into a life of hell started 13 years ago. I love my husband to this day, everyday is a struggle but I'm free, I'm finding me again.

It started great, I wouldn't have to change religions he said, we wouldn't force our children to be muslim he said,. He's not like that he said, he didn't want to come to live in the USA he said. He would never beat me he said. I could do everything and dress how I wanted in Egyptian he said.

Wow, all that changed. The beatings didn't start until recently. But the mental torture was deep. I wish sometimes he would have just beat me physical scars can go away, mental abuse that's hard. His family loves me, his mom she's my heart, and probably a big part of why I stayed for so long.

I hear your stories and feel your pain. For years I watched as naive young, old, middle aged woman from all backgrounds came to Egypt wide eyed in love and determined to prove everyone wrong. I was shocked and disgusted at the ways they were treated. Most of the woman I meet were no less then the 3rd or 4th ones to come to Egypt to visit the same friends of my husband.

You know, if you do not meet his mom, family, but especially his mom. It's not real, Egyptians love their mom's, adore their mom's. So if you don't, there's a problem. True blue Egyptians do not date, they do not take you out and about alone, there is always someone with you. If he does question this.

There is no such thing as a "modern muslim" if they respect you and love you this won't happen. Egyptian men are proud men, they will not ask for money from you especially if your not married. It won't happen, if it does take heed. You and your children become his property, you and your children once married are considered muslim and if you didn't read the fine print, you agreed to all of it. If you decide to become muslim, we all know regardless of what you say the majority of the reason, the real reason is because you were marrying a muslim.

If you do change religions, my advice is to read the Qur'an front to back first, because you agree to all of it whether you read it or not. That's just how it is. And trust me, it will be thrown in your face that you knew that's how it is. Oh, and don't try the" you said I wouldn't have" argument with him. I will give you his answer now it will most likely be "it's not me that says you have too, it's Allah" and guess what you agreed to it. whether you think so or not that's just how it is. It makes me laugh when I read woman say not in my home I wear the pants, ha, that may be true until he says so. And yes if he wants to divorce you it's that simple he says your divorced its done even if your in another country. And if you refuse he will just leave and remarry and good luck getting any support. If your lucky enough to get the kids. If this all happens in Egypt, unless you are lucky have someone in another country with money and connections to help you out, your kids go to him everything goes to him. Yes, most lie they do not take responsibility for their actions they will take you down so low you start to believe the horrible things he will say to you.

They will go, and keep coming back like a bad dream. Just when you think you can finally breath again, bam out of the blue he will contact you. So you have blocked delete change numbers whatever make a clean cut end. Just cut it off. If you feel you have to find out and continue, God be with you. Sometimes you don't need to see what you already know. I didn't meet my husband on the internet, so I can't know that attraction, but I have seen many women meet many women that have met my husband's friends online.

And to echo a lot of people on here, you're not the only one he is talking to. Most do not have internet connections in the home, so they are chatting to you from the internet cafe. And all those pic you send, everyone there is seeing them. That's a fact.

If he's lucky to have a job he's only making a few hundred dollars a month. If he has a car it's probably a family car if he has one at all. The flat you live in, either you will buy it, or its not his. If you have to pay rent, you will be working. And good luck finding a job.

If you move to your country, well you will be the main support, he will want to go to school more likely so yes he will stay with you until he's done even if he gets his visa. Some woman say, he knows I don't have money that doesn't matter, you will need to work hard to provide for him. If you are older then him, this is touchy and by no means am I being rude, I'm just stating what I have seen, no matter what he tells you it's not ok. If you are older and can't have kids, if he says that's ok he is flat out alising to you. Egyptian mom's want their children to have children if you can't, and he's with you, red flag he won't disappoint his mom. No matter what he says. I would question his beliefs if a muslim man ever said he didn't want children. Oh, and if you already have kids and he says that's enough they will be mine. Lie, oh don't get me wrong he will love them, but they can never be his he can't adopt. The children carry his full name and have to be his to do that.

If you think for one minute that you're safe cause he has your photo on th or posted everywhere and all his friends know you. He could still be married, and if you're sending money his wife doesn't care she gaining her kids are too. I have seen a man chatting with some poor woman online while his wife was right next to him.you have to understand, different culture, different understandings.

You might be asking, did my husband talk to other woman or cheat on me. I used to pray he would, I even tried to be him and hook up with some chick on line. But unfortunately, he was the jealous type he didn't ever leave me alone, he was with me 24/7 we worked together until the business went down with all the problems there. Then he decided I would sell my home in the USA, cash out my 401K and give it to him, because I was stupid and didn't know how to handle money. Ha right … but anyways I don't know if he did or when he could have. He was verbally abusive mentally, then in the late physical abuse.

Listen, no one can tell you if you love someone or not, but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with an idea of someone.

Is it hard to leave oh my, yes yes it is. To come off a high of what you felt as true live, it will hurt. I cried all day everyday, I felt I couldn't breath. My reality of what was my life was gone I was scared, afraid for my life, the safety of my girls. I couldn't sleep, I ached for his voice, ached for him. I became so weak I called him. His words to me, "come back baby I'm your husband, I love you, miss you so much."

Had he stopped with those words I may have gone back, but the words that followed, woke me up eyes wide open. He continued on with, "I forgive you, I'm patient at you, I know you're sick in the mind, only a sick woman would ruin her life by leaving. Come back and we will get you help." My whole body became ice, I knew at that moment, I can never return to him or Egypt he will have me committed, and take our children. I still have bad days, sad days, lonely days. But it gets easier, one-day I realized I hadn't cried, I realized I hadn't wanted to die. It's a struggle . But trust me it's nothing compared to the he'll you will live if you stay.

I haven't said everything, and I skipped around, but If you wish to talk, I'm here contact me at standfree2014@gmail.com. I'm here, I've lived it. I survived.


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3Deleting email [98 words]LornaNov 2, 2018 19:24245468
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I hope you are happy [297 words]LornaNov 8, 2018 20:09245468
1Agree lina [126 words]LornaNov 8, 2018 20:15245468
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9Lorna did go to Kurdistan [129 words]Sabrina (Australia)Nov 8, 2018 20:43245468
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6Lorna [72 words]LinaNov 9, 2018 15:37245468
4Hello Lorna [127 words]SheilaNov 9, 2018 16:23245468
8I can't understand Lina [110 words]SheilaNov 9, 2018 16:45245468
11Reply to Lorna [273 words]SheilaNov 9, 2018 17:09245468
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To Lorna [69 words]HopeNov 10, 2018 01:55245468
For you hope [232 words]LornaNov 10, 2018 01:59245468
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4Please help Melanie. [57 words]BazoongaNov 10, 2018 09:18245468
3Exactly Sheila [42 words]JessicaNov 10, 2018 13:17245468
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8Something doesn't sound right Lorna [358 words]JessicaNov 13, 2018 00:14245468
1Reply Bazoonga [22 words]SheilaNov 13, 2018 14:42245468
2Reply to Jessica [32 words]SheilaNov 13, 2018 14:46245468
6Reply to Chelsea [58 words]SheilaNov 13, 2018 14:53245468
5Reply to Lorna [35 words]SheilaNov 13, 2018 15:28245468
10To Lorna [452 words]HopeNov 13, 2018 15:59245468
1Thanks for responding,Sheila [96 words]BazoongaNov 13, 2018 20:37245468
5This is so true Sheila [88 words]JessicaNov 13, 2018 23:16245468
2Something doesn't sound right lorna [164 words]LornaNov 14, 2018 00:17245468
1Something doesn't sound right lorna [216 words]LornaNov 14, 2018 00:39245468
Agree lina [76 words]LornaNov 14, 2018 00:44245468
1I hope you are happy [209 words]LornaNov 14, 2018 00:44245468
1Hope [47 words]SiobhanNov 14, 2018 02:48245468
5Can't save the world but I will always try Lorna [84 words]DeirdreNov 14, 2018 15:25245468
8Lorna I have to add... [38 words]SheilaNov 14, 2018 15:28245468
1I will Bazoonga [30 words]SheilaNov 14, 2018 15:42245468
7Hi Jessica [27 words]SheilaNov 14, 2018 15:48245468
2I am sure you will do the needful. [88 words]BazoongaNov 14, 2018 20:25245468
2You gave wise advice Deirdre [31 words]SheilaNov 14, 2018 21:36245468
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2Im good Sheila [209 words]jessica (canada)Nov 17, 2018 11:27245468
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17Something Mena Men say to Western Women [152 words]SheilaOct 14, 2018 16:30245451
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3Thanks for sharing Deirdre [10 words]SheilaOct 16, 2018 14:35245451
6Reply to Deirdre [56 words]SheilaOct 16, 2018 16:32245451
3Sorry Sheila I may have used the wrong word [33 words]DeirdreOct 17, 2018 14:03245451
2It's ok Deirdre [52 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 18:19245451
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8Article on Moroccan men [162 words]Ms. CarolNov 15, 2018 15:46245451
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3You are welcome. [287 words]BazoongaNov 15, 2018 19:57245451
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8Reply to Freebird [188 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 15:32245447
4To sheila [246 words]FreebirdOct 17, 2018 16:44245447
7Your right Freebird [238 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 18:35245447
7For Deirdre [366 words]FreebirdOct 18, 2018 08:13245447
9To Sheila [412 words]FreebirdOct 18, 2018 08:31245447
9Hi Freebird [222 words]SheilaOct 18, 2018 16:24245447
9We got you Freebird [273 words]DeirdreOct 18, 2018 20:11245447
10Sheila and deirdre [476 words]FreebirdOct 19, 2018 05:35245447
7Forgot to add [173 words]FreebirdOct 19, 2018 05:46245447
8Last laugh [261 words]FreebirdOct 19, 2018 06:29245447
2Getting there [406 words]FreebirdNov 10, 2018 07:42245447
4Nice to see you Freebird [119 words]DeirdreNov 15, 2018 15:28245447
3Thanx deirde [135 words]FreebirdNov 16, 2018 13:16245447
12Bezness: More information [438 words]SheilaOct 14, 2018 15:58245442
5Breaking News: American men looking for wives! [160 words]dhimmi no moreOct 17, 2018 07:18245442
6This has gone on always dhimmi no more [133 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 15:12245442
10Poem about Mena Men [218 words]SheilaOct 13, 2018 13:29245435
6POEM [66 words]CANDY APPLEOct 16, 2018 16:18245435
7I will be out of contact for a couple of weeks [308 words]SheilaOct 16, 2018 22:33245435
2We will be thinking of you Sheila [56 words]DeirdreOct 17, 2018 14:46245435
5Reply to Candy Apple [35 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 15:18245435
3Sheila and lorna [41 words]FreebirdOct 17, 2018 16:48245435
4Best of luck Sheila [40 words]SiobhanOct 17, 2018 18:33245435
2Thank you Deirdre [206 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 18:48245435
3Thank you Freebird [65 words]SheilaOct 17, 2018 18:53245435
5What we deserve [110 words]FreebirdOct 18, 2018 14:18245435
5Reply to Freebird [8 words]SheilaOct 18, 2018 16:26245435
4Thank you Siobhan [100 words]SheilaOct 18, 2018 16:32245435
9Thank you Sheila [50 words]DeirdreOct 12, 2018 13:55245411
6Thank you so much Deirdre! [92 words]SheilaOct 12, 2018 18:07245411
11Your right Sheila has been sent by God to help me [153 words]LornaOct 13, 2018 11:46245411
How to do this? [28 words]BazoongaOct 13, 2018 20:27245411
7Do your research first [103 words]DeirdreOct 15, 2018 15:47245411
5Thanks Lorna! [103 words]SheilaOct 15, 2018 15:51245411
2How to do this? [50 words]DeirdreOct 15, 2018 16:35245411
2Reply to Bazoonga [91 words]SheilaOct 16, 2018 14:40245411
6Watch Video [79 words]SheilaOct 10, 2018 10:33245352
7Worry about Lorna [54 words]LANA(USA)Oct 11, 2018 06:21245352
2Can't find the video [21 words]jessica (canada)Oct 12, 2018 15:54245352
3Reply to Jessica [98 words]SheilaOct 12, 2018 18:14245352
Video not traceable. [16 words]BazoongaOct 13, 2018 20:25245352
5I got it Sheila [206 words]JessicaOct 16, 2018 00:28245352
15Heres a warning for anyone planning to marry or have a relationship with a mena [146 words]JessicaOct 9, 2018 01:16245313
8Virginity and Hypocrisy. [108 words]BazoongaOct 9, 2018 20:08245313
16Kurdi mena man /I still have a soft spot for him [678 words]sabrina AustraliaOct 6, 2018 03:09245244
9Kurds [100 words]LinaOct 6, 2018 19:24245244
7No stupid at all. [242 words]BazoongaOct 7, 2018 06:00245244
8Kurds and children [253 words]BazoongaOct 8, 2018 19:36245244
13Thank you all!! [176 words]SadieOct 5, 2018 11:16245230
12I did in the beginning Sadie [157 words]SheilaOct 5, 2018 14:56245230
5Be strong and sever the bonds. [231 words]BazoongaOct 6, 2018 07:09245230
1Thank you all [266 words]LornaOct 6, 2018 11:14245230
13I'm sorry Lorna [295 words]LinaOct 6, 2018 19:53245230
12Lorna is going to Kurdistan [50 words]Sabrina (Australia)Oct 7, 2018 02:13245230
10GET HELP NOW [196 words]FreebirdOct 7, 2018 07:41245230
17No you ARE NOT doing the right thing [81 words]ChelseaOct 7, 2018 15:59245230
12I know I was blunt....please read [387 words]ChelseaOct 7, 2018 20:42245230

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