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Learn from my mistakes and do not get involved with a muslim

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Another Idiot (Belarus), Aug 6, 2013 at 11:49

I met and fell for a handsome, smart, caring, European-educated Muslim man who said he was liberal, he would never impose religion on me or our future children. Indeed our first few years of marriage were wonderful, he was very good to me and I visited his North-African home country. He was nice to me there as well except I mostly had to stay inside and could not go anywhere alone.

By the time we started talking having children after a few years of marriage my husband was clearly unwilling to have them despite his initial promises of starting a family. Our fighting over the kids issue got worse and worse and when I eventually found out I was pregnant he openly asked me to get an abortion as having "kids in our situation" would cause too many problems. Long story short, one of the fights got violent (he threw an object into me and was verbally abusive) and I left him. I had a beautiful baby girl and my husband keeps insisting on getting back together for her sake...only now he insists that she is raised Muslim. According to him, we'd educate her in Islam and at 18 she'll be able to choose her own path. Now he's basically telling me that growing up in a western way will turn our girl into a slut.

I am torn...of course I want my child to be raised in a family with her Mom and Dad but I have two major issues:

1. fear of future violence since we have a precedent

2. lack of trust. Before I believed my husband wants to live a western lifestyle in the western world but that turned out to be a lie. Now I fear he can abduct our daughter and take her to his muslim country any time he sees her talking to a boy

Now everyone is screwed up: me, him, our daughter.

I would strongly advise to any non-Muslim woman NOT to get involved with a Muslim man. They will NEVER change, no matter how Americanized they seem. Their culture is too ingrained in them. They might want to be Western and they might live a Western lifestyle with their wife but once you have kids EVERYTHING will change. I am pretty sure our marriage would have been OK as we were indeed really happy together but now that we have a child our family and our life is broken.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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