Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
Submitted by Nourshehane (United States), Feb 19, 2013 at 19:40
Luigi, thanks so much for your response to me & for all your responses on this board, they have been eye-opening and informative....i've been reading thru this forum for over 2 weeks & the patterns which seem to emerge in these relationships w/Muslim men really astound me. I'm so glad I found this site before i ever even met up with my guy, because i started having gut-wrenching suspicions just after the 1st week of talking to him.
The fact that he said he felt so strongly for me & even suggested marriage immediately got the Visa bell ringing. That's when i started looking on the internet to see if i could come up with any instances of foreign men/immigrants marrying citizens for green cards. I couldn't really find anything, so i just typed 'Moroccan men' into google and somehow this website showed up in results..lol. When i saw all the posts and their titles, my jaw dropped.
I think you're right; I may never have all the information I'd like (and this is the hard part; letting go without ever truly knowing)... but it's still obvious that whatever it is, I'm clearly not a priority for him. He said so much in the beginning, which was enough to get me hooked, but he never really followed through with anything.. Talk is cheap. Moreover, he stopped showing interest in me as time went on. Possible reasons for this: a) I was assertive b) i made it clear to him that i did not want to marry anyone i didn't know for a significant amount of time c) i was not going to convert to Islam d) i didn't offer any money whenever he complained of financial hardships.
(btw- i also got the 'i'm too tired from work' excuse after a while, and I assume he either he got bored with me, or was busy reeling in other fish.)
If it weren't for this website, I would have never suspected that I was being played like this. All the testimonials here seem to prove that Muslim men scamming non-Muslim women for money, Visas & citizenship under the guise of romance is indeed a widespread epidemic.
I'm really thankful that this site provides access to the information that it does, because it makes me feel like i'm not the only one. Plus it provides a 'safe haven' of sorts and offers great moral support. Thanks to everyone, really.
To anyone else here, all I can say is this: listen to your intuition, your gut instinct, your 6th sense: they are there for a reason. The butterflies, nausea, dread, uncertainty, that suspicion you just can't shake- are blessings in disguise. We try to ignore them because we are kind, compassionate, perhaps inexperienced or simply we want to give someone the benefit of the doubt; so we doubt ourselves, not realizing we do so at our own expense. We couldn't possibly imagine deceiving someone else, let alone someone else deceiving us. But the fact remains that many of these scammers are desperate, opportunistic sociopaths without a conscience.
I will end with a quote that a dear friend sent to me, and I think it is very fitting in this context:
"Stress is an alarm clock that lets you know you're attached to something that's not true for you." ~Byron Katie
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