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My experience with the Moroccan Man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Relieved " X " (Jordan), Apr 28, 2012 at 08:19

I decided to write my story to celebrate one year of freedom and happiness following a four year relationship with a scamming con-man !!

During a months tour in Morocco (2007) I met what would seem to be "charming Moroccan man " , a waiter in a well known rooftop terrace bar in Essaouira (Morocco), walking me to my hotel and requested my tel number , offering me assistance ıe general information , translation etc , from that day the text messages started , pls meet me in cafe , how God had brought me into his life ,we were specially chosen to be together , he even travelled to Agadir and Marrakech during that month just to meet me on his Sunday off from work , brought me some handcrafted gifts.. so , so charming ! finally pleading for me to pls return to Morocco as we were so meant to be together which I dıd several tımes within the following six month period , I stayed approx a month at a time with him in not too glamorous back street apartments as you cannot stay in a reputable hotel with a local man if you are not married to him

.

He talked about marriage immediately as he advised ıt would be necessary if we wanted to be together in Morocco , he made it quite clear that he didn't really want to leave his country and as salaries were so little we would need to have our own business ıe small hotel or restaurant etc if we wanted to have good life style , so we viewed many properties etc for commercial and residential purposes....but you would think if someone was offering a "business partnership " that they would have substantial amount of money to contribute , but not in this case !!!

I agreed to look into the prospect of marriage and that meant I should be introduced to the family(I was now termed as his chosen one ) , family seemed to be very nice , his mother never failed to mention marriage and on one occasion thrust a dress into my hands .. he advised me she wanted me to wear this on our wedding day and that I should be considering to do it very soon !!! He bought rings when I was not with him "gold one for me , with his initials heavily engraved on the surface to show who owned this woman and a silver band for himself ( it would seem that I had now become the fiance )

At this point I searched the web for information on marrying a Moroccan and LUCKILY found this site ,began to read in amazement how many similarities there were to my already current situation. marriage was immediately put on HOLD for me, I had been married before so was not in any rush to do it again J but I was pretty intrigued and wanted to see what would transpire

Our relationship continued and during that time my company expanded into the the Middle East , so I was living mostly in Turkey(Istanbul) but travelling extensively for business , staying at company accommodations in Egypt, Jordan and Morocco , first 1 year he remained in Morocco , communicating daily by internet & phone , I visited Morocco frequently, finally he gave up his job to live & travel with me , it was a rocky relationship at the beginning as we were so very different by nationality , culture , religion and age…we certainly had our problems especially when I found my new PC loaded with sickening pornography…as Blueisis already commented on her post " they practice what they learn by viewing this material "' unfortunately !!!!

During this four year period , I paıd for all his travel , food , clothes , English lessons (to enable him to communıcate with our guests when we set up our hotel or restaurant etc) renting cars in Morocco so he could learn to drive ( of course he had an accident which lead to me paying police, lawyers fees etc ) buying gifts for the family every time he went back to Morocco was termed necessary as they thought he was actually earning money ( lies) so he also asked for money to give his family, this is tradition in the Moroccan family whether you are working or not !! take note !!

We took frequent vacations together in Morocco & South Turkey where I rented Villas etc .. luxury life that never cost him a penny… but he never really appreciated this or even enjoyed it so much as his goals set wasn't to just enjoy the present luxury life , he had to fulfill his family's dreams of him becoming the successfully married businessman , he even discussed the prospect of having a business in Southern Turkey to make sure all possible options were offered ..

May 2011 we returned to Morocco together , there was a distant silence between us on that trip … I went to Casablanca for business purpose and he went to Essaouira to his family , he took a short vacation to his favourite small village " Imssouan " with his younger brother(even though he has no money) , he still contacted daily over the next coming week and actually asked if I could pay for the hotel they were staying with my credit card , unbelievable !!! …I declined of course :)

Then came the phone call I had been waiting , he was upset , said he didn't want that we split but his family and friends demanded he finish with me and find someone who would marry him and provide the stable future , I agreed that we should finish for the obvious reasons being that I really did know why he was with me now and as the relationship had been a scam anyway , but I totally resented that the family and friends were making that decision , again it made me very aware of what power the family had over him and that is really worth considering as family and friends come first before the wives. I also would never live in Morocco as luckily I had been able to spend significant periods there in Essaouira , Casablanca ,Mohammadia & Tangier over thıs four year period and had gained very good insight into the culture , religion , the lifestyle of the people , the tasks we faced as a company while working with the locals, the language etc , , I generally found it a very difficult country and culture for many different reasons . I witnessed the dangers and he himself had got into fight on one occasion protecting me from cheap insults

Long story short , It was over and I never contacted him again unless to try and retrieve my Lap top , I.Pad & Phone but he would call me , crying that he loved me and could not be without me why I didn't call him .. he said his family would let us continue the relationship without the marriage if they could see something more positive for his future ie home or commercial property being bought , he pleaded and begged with me to consider more , he was willing to make compromises and would accept a few thousand Euros to make a small business(sandwich bar in his favourite small village ) , this would make everyone happy and we could still be together , blaming his family and friends for making decisions that he had to stand by but this was so unbelievable what I was hearing that I actually opened the speaker on my phone and let my British colleague listen , she had worked in Morocco for 12 years and was not the least bit surprised J

Being the " X " was very ınteresting !! yes , a few weeks later he called me (surprise, surprise ) to ask me if I was sure I didn't want him anymore as there was one woman who was interested in him (Scottish Woman also) and that he was sure she would give him the stability he wanted in his life (this meaning marriage and his own business ) he told me she likes Morocco very much(she was speaking French better than him) she was very rich and would be able to fund his business , so there was chance she could be the one to fulfill his dream ,and he had to mention that she did not mind living in the dıngy back street apartments(that I complained about) :) , he went on to say she is not beautiful but that didn't matter as it's a deal , he said " those women just want love as they cant find it in their own country , so we tell them we love them , and they give us a better stable life in return .. he said Moroccans are not fussy about what the woman looks like or her age etc !!!! of course he is correct, there marriages are usually arranged by their families ( as was done for his older brother ) !! but to hear this so bluntly from him made it so clear that is exactly what those predators think when they are targeting us

His relationship with this woman progressed and he updated me on all activities , he took her to all the same places that we went to at the beginning( capturing all the possible romantic settings & sunsets etc ) using anything his country had to offer to help make the whole package look attractive and hope it sold well , he laughed and said this was his set plan for all new GF's..

The communication regarding the new GF went on for a few months and I told him that he was being very disrespectful to her by contacting me daily and I advised him that I almost felt guilty to be part of it and I threatened to tell her

BUT In his defence he told me that most of the western women leave themselves open to this as they meet and marry Moroccan men so easily (I was an exception apparently ) , laughing while giving me examples of some recent marriages he had attended , " one example" where the couple met while she was arriving by bus he was just handing out flyers , she only knew him for a few days during her whole vacation but turned back to UK got her papers and married him few weeks later what can I say ???

In the last year I have followed the new GF's blogs, she writes publicly about all her visits to Morocco ,experiences of shopping in the souks , eating out etc praises him for his ability to negotiate prices with the locals( like he did for me) and just like me she visited Essaouira many times to be with him, she is now proposing to spend lots more time there later this year with the hope of starting business J so he is correct , she did do all that for him and "very easily too as it seems " in most recent contact he told me he has no job , just enjoying his water sports and learning Spanish language (most probably so he can communicate with his customers when his new business takes off ) (does this sound familiar ) ??

He regularly compares himself to all his other scamming friends , and is so jealous of the ones who have previously married foreigners and spent some time working in foreign countries , as they have returned to Morocco now with much more money enabling them to invest ın their own business , build nice homes (but be noted they have come back alone, no foreign wife ) !!!! most probably will marry one of their own and as they are much better off financially they can be accepted to marry within a better class family if you don't have money the womens family will not accept you as"'he personally experienced this previously when he asked to marry his sweetheart who he had met in university and was refused by her family as he did not have enough money to support her I truly think that is the main reason he decided to target foreigners for marriage , business and money as he found out he couldn't marry the woman he truly loved because of money .. this is what happens in countries such as Morocco

Lucky to have lived in this country for work I was able to get very good insight into the local culture , got talking to the locals (some of his friends also ) and was interested most of all how they view foreigners(westerners) etc I have had many conversations(some heated) with locals as they view us as rich, spoiled people , we are totally resented by them , so beware ,if they want you in their life its because they want to get some of your wealth, they don't see scamming people into marriage with their lies to be a sin as they truly think such wealth should be shared equally amongst us , and they are only trying to take whats rightfully theirs , their told me their God does not see any wrong doing as they will provide more for their families and give to the poor !!!!

I could write so much more detail about the relationship with this man , the experiences I have had living and working in the countries mentioned above but I really only wanted to share the basic facts

I am so glad to see that new people are continuing to find this site , reading the posts can hopefully prevent them from making huge and meaningful mistakes in their life or in some cases receiving valuable support after the realization that they have been cheated and scammed by the Arab (Muslim men ) , for whatever the reasons ie Fınance , Visa's, Green cards , sex etc but at least knowing they are not alone brings comfort and support as it did to me

If anyone is considering a relationship or marriage to an Arab (Muslim) and wants any advice (read the posts on this site ) people have taken the time to write them for a reason

.

Signed off by One very relieved and happy " X "

J

Submitting....

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