not a smear campaign

Submitted by Pandora (United States), Feb 24, 2010 at 12:00

Tarkan, most people on here posting about Turks (myself included) are not out to smear the whole culture or country of Turkey. I have friends from there and love the culture. But that said, I have also been in relationships with a few of them and they have been visa hunters out to romance you until they get what they want, then drop you and marry some gal from their country. I'm glad for the camaraderie I find on here, and am blessed to have moved on from my experiences and be in a better, healthier place. But the truth is that I have not yet met one who wanted to date me that didn't have an agenda in mind. It's better to approach these things carefully, and to have strong boundaries in mind. They're very charming and sweet, and my ex did also treat my daughter very well. But he also pushed me hard from the start towards marriage, then converting. I was vulnerable and fell for him hard, and it took months to get over him. He was cruel in the end, and moved on quickly (and rubbed it in).

What I learned from this experience was to have a better sense of self before I get involved (and that goes for anyone), not be bitter and grow from this (made easier by people on this board and my friends), and lastly, do not let anyone who I haven't thoroughly knownand am reasonably sure is going to have a lasting permanence in my life near my kid . She also suffered in the aftermath because she had bonded with him.

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