When A Friend's In Pain

Submitted by What to do? (United States), Nov 26, 2009 at 20:14

So, I'm looking for some on advice on how to help a friend who is absolutely devastated. I came back recently to the US to find my email box and voice mail flooded with messages from a female friend who has apparently suffered some sort of breakdown as the result of finding out information about an ex of her's.
She is a non-Muslim who was engaged to marry a Muslim male and what I know of their relationship, it was a very intense and stormy one. They mutually agreed to end their engagement and it seemed like she was moving forward over the past several months. I do know that he contacted her a few times earlier this year and wanted to get back with her and that she had refused. I thought she was going to be okay but she found out recently that he has become engaged to another woman (Arab Muslimah) and she is having a hard time coming to terms with this.
I tried to support her through her relationship and breakup and gave her advice over the years. I know how well or how disasterously relationships can work out between Western women and Muslim men ( I've had my own experiences and lived in the Middle East -my story is also in the comments section), but I'm not sure else what I can do to help her. She doesn't have a lot of family or friends who can support her and I am wondering why she is reacting so strongly to the news of his engagement when it has been many months since she has seen or talked to him.
I'm not sure what I should say or do to help her. I have suggested therapy and am trying to prop her up. But my patience is beginning to fray a little as she isn't doing anything to help herself. I am just wondering what can be done to coax her to get better and help her to get past him? Everything I have suggested or tried to do has not worked and I am looking for some fresh ideas that might be insightful and useful. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you!

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