Life after these men ;)

Submitted by Dora (United Kingdom), Nov 5, 2009 at 13:52

Hi ladies,

I last wrote on here about 8 months ago. I was in turmoil with my Egyptian fiance and all of the demands that he was placing on me, you know the usual change of religion, clothes, friends etc. I was sick and thin from the stress. I looked at pictures of myself yesterday when I was with him and my God how awful I looked. I was overweight, bad skin, hair breaking all due to the pressure. I was low and very depressed most of the time. Although, I hung in there. Sheer emotional abuse coloured our relationship.

I am six months on from the break up and ladies the peace I feel in my heart is indescribable-really. I am so much happier that I was the 3 years we were together. Of course he was charming at first, but with time came the dominant character that many women on here can understand. I am writing because i really felt that if he didnt love me I was nothing as my self-esteem was so low by the time I had been with him a while. I breathe now without suffocating. I look forward to my future. I have embarked upon a whole new life and I now know that if God hadn't taught me this lesson that I would not be where or indeed who I am today. Ladies if someone doesnt love you as you are, then they are not for you-it is that simple. When they want to alter every part of your character ,it is soul destroying and again not for you. Be YOU

I needed time, but I came back to say that there is so much life after these men. With this lesson in my heart I move forward a stronger woman everyday. I truly see this tremendously painful time as a blessing which has changed me and my life. My self worth is sky high now and I am so positive about my life, as I know i nearly signed it away to a control freak who would have made me miserable and killed my spirit. I thank god HE IS GONE!!!! HOORAY!! I look forward to one day marrying a man who values equality and respects me as i intend to him. Life is beautiful on the whole :).

I heard recently that he has simply moved onto the next foreigner, despite his claims of being a deeply religious man. This lady drinks, likes to party and is not especially modest. I am not critcising her at all, but I want to make the point that whilst these men brow-beat us into submission with rules and expectations, they are more than happy to bend the rules if they feel the situation will benefit them and a perhaps a passport of monetary benefits can be gained, which is why we must be ourselves, exactly what God made. Compromise should not equal the denigration of your character ever! Fundamentally, ladies always be who YOU are, not who someone wants you to be because most of the time these types of men are major hypocrites. I pray that he doesnt give this poor girl the same pain he did me.

From a happy, yes happy excited lady with her whole life ahead of her (At the time I never thought I would ever be able to write this.!!!!) Thank you so much to the ladies who supported me on here when I was in the midst of it all!

God bless you ladies

Dora xx

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