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Sorry, Do not Give Up

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Trying my hardest for my daughter and twin grandsons

Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed (United States), Jan 24, 2020 at 13:12

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. No disrespect and not to generalize or stereotype but Kurds are known to be perhaps religiously more moderate than Assyrian or Arab Sunni Muslims however they are far more socially conservative and repressive in their treatment of women and cultural practices and beliefs that no true scholoar of Islam would condone.

I don't know how old your daughter is but she I would assume is relatively young and previously unmarried, and it sounds as though she made a hasty and immature (I mean that in respect to her life experiences not her as a person) decision in love no different from any one weve all done things or dated been in relationship with someone who was a bad choice or not compatible etc etc at some point to some extent unfortunately in her case the differences are large and the consequences may not be the same.

Eventually she will need you and come around and the important part is to ensure she doesn't feel judged or embarrassed for her choices and knows she has your support or she may end up staying in his grip longer feeling she has no other course of action and out of shame. It may take a month it may take years but she will tire of it eventually and need to be true to herself and her ideas and dreams for her life.

Take every chance to build her self esteem if possible as it's apparent she has low self-esteem and value of herself to permit a man to disrespect her and not demand her God given and appointed rights and value in a marriage. Unfortunately there is no easy answer or solution but that is what I would suggest at the very least, inshallah I will keep you in my prayers

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