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Wow, Lana :(

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: My old story, reminded by others

Submitted by Robin (United States), Sep 4, 2019 at 13:33

Thank you for sharing your story, even if it was from awhile ago. Except for the fact that my husband was living in Morocco when we met (online), the story is almost identical to mine, at least in terms of his behavior and treatment of me. It took me more than two years to realize what was going on, while he was jerking me around by my emotions. The reason my eyes finally opened all of the way was that when I put the value of our marriage back on him (as in, if you give a shit about me, do something to prove it) he disappeared. I look back at his behavior during my two visits to him in Morocco, and his behavior the rest of the time, and don't understand why I didn't end it much sooner. I actually did try a few times, but always I would feel guilty and go back to him. The final time, his sister made me promise not to - she said she knew he would never change. By then, I had seen evidence of his cheating, both in Morocco and in South Korea (where he is now). Really, the extent of his lies and utter bullshit makes me shake my head. The sad part is, he will just continue doing this to other women, and there is nothing I can do to stop him. I really thought he was different when we met, and initially he seemed to be, but now things that happened, and his behavior, during even my first visit to him, take on a whole new meaning. The signs (red flags) were there from the beginning, but he did the whole "smoke and mirrors" thing. I saw what he wanted me to see. My two areas of consolation now are that 1) the female friend he introduced me to, who helped us to get married, ended her friendship with him (she is married and living in France), and 2) I prevented him from being able to immigrate to the U.S. He's probably furious, but really, what did he expect? That I would be his whipping girl forever? He's not that wonderful - in fact, there is nothing wonderful about him at all. He is the scum of the earth. What man treats another this way, and thinks he has that right? What man takes, takes, and takes from a woman, one that he is married to, supposedly loves, and should be cherishing? I'll never forget him telling me at the end, that if I didn't like his personality (all I did was express concern as to the sincerity of his feelings for me - wonder WHY?) I could go find another man. Who says this to his wife? Wow, just wow. At that point I told him even being alone would be better than putting up with any more of his shit. He is probably still reeling, which makes me laugh sometimes (if I think about it). Bonehead screwed up ever being able to immigrate to the U.S., because I let Citizen and Immigration Services know what he had been doing (and had done). I made sure to email him a copy of the letter I sent to them, which, because he DID respond to it, I know he received. I sure hope he likes South Korea, because that is probably the best he will ever be able to do. Of course, he can always go back to Morocco, but I'm not sure what kind of welcome he'd get there, especially as he had to beg, borrow or steal the money to go to South Korea in the first place. Maybe he serviced his gay friend (the one he denied having, but that two different people told me about).

Do you think karma ever comes back to bite these guys in the rear? I know he can't be happy that I messed up his immigration plans, and that he can't jerk me around anymore. I think he liked to brag about having an American wife, and how stupid she was, doing so much for him and trying to get him to the U.S. As I have cut off all contact with him, and anyone associated with him, I will probably never know. I'm just glad he is not in MY country. God only knows what kind of trouble he would try to make for me if he was. I shudder to think what would have happened if he had successfully immigrated. Anyway, as I know I am repeating myself from other posts, I will sign off here. The reason your story resonates so much with me is because of the similarities. It's like these guys all go to "How to Screw Over Western Women in Order to Get Ahead" school. Funny, I didn't see that on his resume.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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