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My story.

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Help! Am i another statistic of moroccan men

Submitted by HERnameIsSarah, Aug 5, 2019 at 21:32

I loved him completely. He was a selfish, liar. It all started about fifteen years ago. I was young. Dumb? Well, I would never allow this to happen now. He represented himself as having an internal struggle. Meeting the expectations of his family and culture but knowing that wasn't the life that made him happy. He claimed. We both live in the USA and in the same state but hours apart. We were friends and then so called boyfriend and girlfriend, on and off The long distance made it hard. Keeping each other secret from our families and friends made seeing each other difficult but we did. We would come and go in each others' lives over the years but we only ever went without talking for months. Somewhere in between stopping talking for several months and trying to move on with our lives, he met someone, another American and they got pregnant and she converted and they "married." The Muslim marriage where you just need witnesses and it's done. Nothing legal. He kept her secret and hidden from his family. He kept it secret and hidden from me. I had no clue. We talked almost every night, we visited each other. But guess what? The child is now 11 and guess what? There's a second child. Plus a divorce after a short marriage, he claims. I just found out. I didn't see any signs. I said how did we talk all the time then? He claims they never lived together. It was a double life he regretted. Sickening. Over the years he kept acting like he was postponing his family's plans for him to return to his country to marry some poor, young female who is chosen to marry some stranger. I believed him. He said he couldn't do that. I didn't believe he could. I'd say his family will never accept me so we were wasting time. I'd say we are in our 30s now and doesn't he want kids? I didn't know of his two secret sons at those times. He always told me no, we don't know what the future holds, that he loved me, that I'm perfect for him, and to give him time. So where is he now? After finally telling me all the secrets about his secret "marriage," kids and divorce, he told me he was telling me now BECAUSE his family won't wait anymore and he is leaving to marry the stranger, which he is almost 20 years older than her. Sickening. He called to say him and I aren't over and he loves me but he had to go. He didn't even call to say goodbye and he left! How else would you feel besides USED? Waste of time. Wasted my life. I found this site in an upset moment, googling things and it made me feel a little relief. I know not everyone is the same but I can say all I have been told and experienced, I would never allow this to happen to me again. I thought it was love. I never gave money. He gave me gifts, which I always wanted to refuse. Now I will consider all our memories lies. I know there was love. But it was my love. I don't think he knows what love or truth is. Doubt he ever will. His first "wife" will never know. I know all about HER and where she is, where his family lives and where he is but I will close this chapter and let it be.

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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