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It happened to me ...

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Let Me Just Leave This Here!

Submitted by Robin Martin (United States), May 20, 2019 at 17:22

Becca, good for you that you stayed objective and were able to get away from the situation. I actually married my Moroccan man, because he had acquainted me with a female friend who talked him up. She was married to a French man who was in France at the time, so I don't think there was anything romantic between them, but right off the bat I was being told by the both of them how Moroccans will take advantage of nice people for their money. Which is exactly what they proceeded to do to me. I married him, came back to the United States, and began the process of petitioning for him to come here. Fast forward more than two years later (yes, it took me that long to finally realize what was going on), and I have finally ended it with him, but my self-respect has taken a huge hit. Looking back at everything, it should have been obvious to me what was going on, but any time I questioned him he had some excuse or explanation. Not that these explanations really explained anything, so I would wind up asking him about things again and he would get angry. I "always thought badly of him," I "didn't trust him," playing the victim, poor little him. About two months ago (he had messed up his visa interview, so he wasn't in the United States by this time) he started playing his games again. Yes, he is definitely someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. These games had been going on throughout our long-distance relationship. By this time he was in South Korea for work, because he had gotten tired of waiting for my government to review his returned petition. I found evidence he was cheating on me, because he had forgotten that he had shared his Google photo library with me, and that I still had access to our shared Facebook account. More explanations that made no sense. Finally, when he got tired of explaining himself, he told me that if I didn't like his personality I could go find another man. I told him yes, I could do this, but that frankly even being alone was preferable to putting up with the b.s. he was dishing out. I gave him an ultimatum, basically, that if he really wanted to be with me, to prove it. Of course, Mr. Man did absolutely nothing. Radio silence. Crickets chirping. In the meantime, my government completed the review of his petition and mailed me a Notice of Intent to Revoke, which listed all of the reasons he had failed his visa interview. All of the reasons screamed laziness on his part. He really wanted to come to the United States, but didn't want to do any actual work to get here. I sent him a copy of my response to the Notice so that he would know I was no longer interested in him coming here. Since I had also advised them that he was in South Korea, he was quick to reply that he was now in Italy. Right. I researched what is involved with getting a visa to Italy, and there was no way he had the time or money to do this. He was living in an apartment with several other Moroccan and Algerian men and not finding consistent work because he was a foreigner.

I will not go into how his female friend (who is no longer his friend - I guess she was stepping in his territory in regards to his cash cow) and his sister behaved after I ended it with him, along with his "best friend" in Tangier we had visited during my second trip to visit him. I also won't go into his behavior during this trip, where it should have been obvious to me that he didn't care about me. These guys are smooth talkers and experts at manipulation, and unfortunately I have low-esteem, so I was ripe for the picking. At least he never made it to the United States, where I am sure he would have caused me nothing but grief. I really hope my story convinces someone else NOT TO GET INVOLVED with any of these men. It is sickening what they do, and you are left feeling like a complete fool.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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