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Advice re: Egyptian Man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Can anybody please give me some advice about egyptian man?

Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed, Egypt, Dec 10, 2017 at 00:49

Ahlen sister,
I obviously cannot speak for all cases, and truly there do exist some decent men in Egypt, however, I speak as a middle Eastern woman (I grew up in USA) who is married to an Egyptian from Cairo for 11 years and have 3 (and one on the way) children and also reside in Egypt I will say this: I do not know of any legitimate relationships that have begun in Sharm or Hurghada between workers in the tourist/service industry and foreign vacationers; it just doesn't happen, no diff than what expectations or odds of that happening would be in your home country or any other country for that matter. I would be very wary of his motivations, the best way I can put this is to expect the same of hikbas you would any other gentleman and in fact, given the cutural differences I would expect even more of him.

Most decent educated upper middle class egyptians who are genuine and moral in character are WELL AWARE of the social stigma and stereotypes of the men in the tourist industry of their country as well as those working in any profession who have less than honest intentions, and they strive HARD to avoid any situation which may be perceived by others as opportunistic in nature or which may not be broadly socially acceptable. Of course it's possible to meet a normal sincere and amazing Egyptian man (after all I did) but sadly it's not likely. Even less likely that you will find true love or even an honest evenly balanced relationship out of the circumstances you described; when randomly meeting someone and developing feelings/relationship from it, the situation has to truly be random and spontaneous, with neither expecting a particular outcome or experience to come from it, if that makes sense.

Typically the best people aren't putting themselves out there so easily relationship-wise, they don't trust easily or jump into things hastily (in this culture specifically). If he's legit, a guy should be every bit as apprehensive as you in a new relationship especially a long distance cross cultural one that started on a holiday. A Mena man's pride is huge and under no circumstances will he accept money from a woman (even his wife after marriage; for instance my husband refuses for my money to be spent on ANY expenses for our home or children and prefers I not touch it at all and rather keep in my bank account collecting interest) and this is not unusual and doesn't only apply to the "wealthy".

Of course, I don't intend to say that it is acceptable to be demanding materially of a Mena man or stretch his income beyond it's limits (as it's also well known that the material demands of many Egyptian prospective brides are not realistically aligned with the current economic climate and the means of the average Egyptian mans income capacity). I just mean to say that you ought to expect to be treated well accomodated, be involved in his personal life I.e. friends and family early on if he is seriois and also that he remain sexually conservative with you (no sex of any kind before marriage, many Egyptian men WILL sleep with a woman before marriage and this does NOT mean he is open minded and westernized as it simply means he is horny and ensures he will no longer consider you marriage material or have the same respect for you.

Even the socially adept, very good looking, and open minded and progressive ones (like my own husband) desire a woman to be a virgin (as regardless of what he says and what you think, he is very likely a virgin himself and of not, his experience probably consists of banging foreign tourists on holiday) sorry to say that's just the truth, I know many middle eastern people and Egyptians in my family and my in-laws and this is just the way it is.

Best of luck to you, I would proceed with extreme caution and not expect anything at this point

Submitting....

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