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I need someone to guide me

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Montse (United States), Dec 7, 2017 at 16:47

I need someone to guide me.

I met my husband in an English course online, he studied in the United States at that time, at Christmas he invited me to meet him in person and I ... I accepted, when I arrived he treated me super special, he flattered everything I did, he cooked for me, we went out for drinks, everything was perfect, I, at that time I worked for the government of Mexico, it was not much payment, but it was stable and I could pay the trips to going to see him, even if he paid half, sometimes everything.

Finally, after a while he insisted on getting married and forming a family, I reall didn't want it, but he always gave me long talks about marriage and our ages, (me 30 and he 33) that he wanted to introduce me to his family but he didn't want to be judged or his family things bad things about me and that he wanted to do the right thing from the beginning, so I accepted, I quit my job, my house, my friends, everything, I went to live with him, he's fixing papers to be resident and he put me in his case so in some months i got a permission to work.

At first everything was beautiful, but with form the months he started praying so we could not go out for drinks anymore, or l spend money because is a sin, he got very jealous even if I said Good morning to the neighbors,he start to insulting me, I couldn't put shorts anymore even to do cleaning in our home,and every time he put rules that he never follow, the rules was just for me, he don't buy me anything or tell me how much he earned; or if I get sick and have to go to the doctor he get angry, but he wanted to know how much I spent and he stalk me in my payment or if I buy a soda.

Like any Latina i have my character and don't leave me if he yells me I yellat him too, but he started to hits me, and he blamed me because according to him I pushed him to hit me I shouted or i did not respect him, i start to blame myself for our problems and I wanted to have a stable family, I started to do things and things he liked, I know that I have my character but he has more strength than me, the things change more when his family came to visit us, his parents decided everything (even if he bought soap or not to wash) the blows and the insults became more, ask he pay the half of the rent and half of everything, After some fights he force me to have intimacy because according to him I am his wife and I have to do it, that is my responsibility like a wife so he does not think about other women,

I need help, I want to run away but if I do it I will lost more, I won't work in USA any more, if I go back to mexico will not have a job, home, anything, anything, no counting my visitor visa, will disappear too, i know it is my fault because I decided to get married but I would like to know if there is any possibility of staying in the country divorcing me or if I am divorced, they send me to Mexico? I do not know what to do or where I have to go

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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