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Realism & Question - ONLINEReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Mo (United States), Aug 29, 2016 at 05:14 Wow, what a thread! I can't lie, I feel like SHAKING most of the authors on these posts and saying "HELLO, ANYONE HOME!?" Thank God I figured this whole scam out on my own, but glad this is here as a dose of extra reality. Please explain, because I just don't understand.... There is website upon website with literally thousands of American/European women sharing their God awful experiences marrying an Arabic immigrant, particularly North African Arabics. And keep in mind, these thousands of women account for less than 10% of the total # of women with similar experiences, considering most don't publicly document & share online. So my question is why would ANY woman allow this to happen to her? The success stories are sooo rare, clearly, that I really believe that common sense will prevail. You do have the few who jump into it oblivious, not a clue in the world, but I bet the majority of those who become victims KNOW the stories but refuse to accept that their relationship is NOT the exception. Now, this particular post is specifically addressing all these online stories... you know, somehow meeting these men randomly online & then the inevitable scam that follows for those who allow it... whether greencard marriage or just money wired & "lost" when the promised return on investment doesn't materialize. I believe the women who meet these same exact men overseas, in person, have a far better excuse for falling victim because "summer love" can be quite intoxicating, especially on vacation. To me, those in person "opportunity relationship" disasters can simply can be better understood, no matter how many red flags exist....No pass, but not as unforgivable. I just want to say, I really do get it. You are on the internet one day, bored, miserable, and/or unfulfilled overall, and this charming, sexy, adorable, sweet guy somehow finds you at your most vulnerable point in life. What harm can it do to respond right? I agree. This man, you realize, has diverted your mind from your problems for an HOUR and you actually feel not only better than before, but you feel GOOD right now! Your feel good came from an hour of Mr. Africa filling you with a nonstop stream of sweet nothings. Ingenuity, no matter how obvious, does not register because these men, they somehow give you EXACTLY what that American men had neglected to give you in previous relationships, even though you can't pinpoint it. The next day at work, you daydream, and that night, you talk with him about this fantasy future you have been daydreaming about... he has the same future planned.... it's fun to dream and everything about life just seems "better". The bottom line is..... BEING IN LOVE FEELS SO GOOD!! Am I right? Being told by this guy how in love he is with you really helps a damaged self-esteem feel less broken even though it is artificial and only lasts as long as he does. But in the beginning, you are undeniably his entire world... after all, for 2 months now, he is ALWAYS there to talk to you... whether via video when you are home or a quick text during the day. He is available.. YOU are his world. He will listen, and boy, isn't that jealousy kinda cute? And when needed, he knows just the right things to reassure you of his love whenever doubt (aka common sense) creeps up and you question whether it is possible that love can truly conquer your age, culture, religion, geographical & income disparities. Because of him, boredom stops being a constant companion... of all things, this is the most dangerous. All of this feels wonderful to a woman who is at a weak point in life.... I get it. Been there, many times! Despite understanding the reason women respond to these men online and enjoy them, I wonder how this seems to cross over into the real world sooo often. I never allowed that to happen so how does this line get crossed? Like I said I have been there with the Arabic lust. The difference between us? I always saw it for what it was, from day 1, and let each cute guy serve my entertainment purpose & run his course. Then once he realizes he can't get me or anything from me, I move on to the next. Trust me, there is ALWAYS a next if you want there to be. I know they don't think I am gorgeous, or in love with me and I ignore it with a simple thanks when they say it. But it's not REALLY about that in the bigger scheme. It is about companionship. Having someone to "share" life with. In this case, it is sharing only a part of life, so accept that. So enjoy the companionship & don't believe he has feelings. Or if you can't/don't want this, then just accept none of them are your soul mate. I PROMISE! Your true one and only does not live in Egypt, Morocco, Tunisia, or Algeria. Guaranteed. Also... remember. If you are a 59 year old woman who gets to the point in this GAME where you are marrying a 25 year old foreign KID, you are just as guilty of taking advantage of them as they are of you. NO ONE can tell me any differently. You are exchanging sex for greencard/money, whether you admit it or not. Period. End of story. I can never find sympathy for you. You should not take advantage of these young 3rd world kids. At least if you do, accept you are direct exchanging, and they have earned their greencard.... Accept that you get 2 years, so use it wisely.... no tears allowed at the end! Soo tell me.. WHY, HOW do/did you fall for this??? I have a hard time understanding. Especially because most of the women are NOT young women. Anyone over 30 cannot not claim the "young love" or "love is blind" excuse that youth are afforded. I am calling you out. You knew in your deeply denying heart. So, what made you do it anyway? Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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