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this is funReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by amy (United States), Apr 2, 2015 at 23:02 First of all, I never said someone MUST look for men internationally, or that it's the only option. I just was saying it's a viable option, and for many people it's been successful. So when you advise "Don't date internationally" with no caveats or exceptions, that to me is an extreme solution to a limited problem. But as for the rest of your advice: -Don't fall for the first person who IMs you on skype or AIM -Don't think someone from a different culture in another country +/- 15-20 years away from your age is really that interested in you and that it will lead to eternal bliss I actually agree with those two points. I think when there is a huge age difference, there is usually a huge gap in relationship experience, and that will most likely impact the marriage. Don't think that sweet pillow talk = real love This is true in every case, not just international courting. Well, there are consequences with that restriction, namely a narrower pool. Some might say that's good to narrow their focus. Some people like more options, some people like less. Who is to say what's better. When shopping for a bedroom set, I don't like too many options. I get overwhelmed as they all start to run together. But when searching for a mate to sleep in that bed with me, I want a larger range of options so I can have the highest sense of selectivity. There's plenty of Muslim men who are US citizens. Yes, but not all are single. Not all are 'my age' (let's remember how important that is). And what about compatibility between personality? Let me ask you this, Amy: Do you think converts to atheism, Zoroastrianism, or Buddhism have the same problem? I don't see them on-line complaining about it. Actually, no I don't. I don't think they have the same problems because their religions don't have the same prescriptives about who and how to marry as what exists in Islam. I can tell one that if one is willing to find a man who lives in this country that your life will be immensely easier.And really, Amy, while it's not easy, I don't think it's as hard as you'd like to make it out be now that you married. Yes, it will take more effort, but a lot of people don't seem to understand that on-line dating is still not easy. Sure, some things are easier. Being married to a local is easier. Finding him, for a muslim woman (without going online, that is) is harder. So I guess one is choosing which harder course they would rather take- harder finding, but easier living? Or easier finding, and maybe harder living? Amy, you need to stop making excuses and scenarios to support your marriage and see it for what it is. But see, this was never about getting support for my marriage. I don't really need anyone's support, I chose it and I'm living it, and I'm happy. I only cared to show that not all Egyptian men are horrible. I don't understand what people get out of trying to prove that they are?! It's unsettling to me that you keep posting on here and have such an interest in this site. Why is that? Isn't that what forums are for lol? There are other sites I've actively posted on for years, and one of them even invited me to be an editor for them. I don't see what the big deal is about it. If your marriage is truly happy and wonderful, you would not need to spend your time on here talking to me. Hm. I do it because I like standing up for something I believe in (No, NOT my marriage, but the Egyptian people- particularly the good ones among them). And, I'm a writer. Writers like to write, and look for excuses to do it lol. Mostly I do it because it's an enjoyable way to spend my spare time. Amy, please do not come on here and insinuate that it's just too hard to find another American citizen Muslim man. The Muslim population in this country is growing, and there are white men who convert to Islam, and certainly plenty of Black men have. Too hard? That's a judgment call. Harder than most women want to trouble with? Probably. Plus, there are pros and cons to marrying fellow converts. It's not for everyone. It all depends on where people are and where they are trying to go. You can't create compatibilty strictly from proximity. ... convincing themselves this is once in a lifetime chance to snag a younger man who is different, which plays well into the arms of our PC Western society. Someone she can maybe even use as a trophy to smack an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend over the head with, or just come into work or the ladies night out and tell all her friends about it. Maybe so. I can't speak for what the motives of other women are. I only know for myself, I have no desire to be with someone younger than me. There is no thrill in that idea whatsoever. And I haven't done it my entire life, including now. Well then, since you apparently live in the US, and clearly we see how you view things, how did you wind up on this forum? Were you scammed by a foreign woman? Submitting....
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