|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Trust Him.....But Investigating and Wants Prenup--- UAE Man, American Woman, Muslim, Dating, Marriage, VISAReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 16, 2015 at 17:08 The "I know you won't understand this" was in reference to my preference to be in relationships with many of the characteristics most of you are describing as negatives, not all the other stuff. Well, this kind of thinking is dangerous. One example could be a guy can be abuse (negative), hit his girlfriend or wife, and then come back with flowers (good), and that makes it okay? Drifting, even bad scammy, abusive relationships have okay to good times. When I was with shady or just immature women, it wasn't all bad----it never is! You just have to realize you don't have to put up with it all the bad stuff. The point is no one should have to be in relationship full of doubts, second guessing, legal safety nets and/or abuse. So, yes, clearly most of you don't understand how I can find those positives if you're describing them as negatives. I am not "most of you". You're not going to find many positives because people who are secure in their relationships do not need to run around the internet looking for approval or advice. As for my references to investigating and having a prenup, clearly I've taken the advice of this board very seriously. While it is to your credit that you are questioning this and not trying to make a litany of lame excuses for your doubts, Drifting, the question is why bother with all of this trouble? Can you even enjoy life or this relationship with all of these doubts? I was simply also looking for positive experiences as there are several things about my situation that simply do not match what everyone else is saying. As I've said, you're not going to get very many positive experiences. People who truly have good relationships don't need to go around soliciting advice and approval from anonymous third parties. And even if you did, how do you know they are not in the process of being scammed? How do you know they are really happy, if they are coming on-line to talk to total strangers about their current love life? Wouldn't you say they'd be too busy enjoying it as opposed to trying convince total strangers how good and great it all is? With that said, I am not naiive and have lived a very complex life. When I read that people have consistently faced the same challenge in the same circumstance, I take it seriously. Hence the investigation and prenup. So let me get this straight: Later on in your response, you tell me you trust him, yet you're investigating him and want a prenup? I don't automatically write someone off because of his country of origin. That's an oversimplification to say the least. Maybe you missed the parts about the men described on here who have other "girlfriends" or even gay lovers, take money and electronics or use the women for a VISA and/or sex. That also goes with wisdom and experience. What is needed here, Drifting, is common sense. Think outside the box. Do you really think these problems can be solved with political correctness and prenups? But I am taking serious precautions, much more so than I would if it were someone from the States. HA! If this were someone from the states who was your own age or older than you, I think we both know the slim chances you'd stay with such man with all of these doubts. Basically, I see all the makings of a good relationship, It ALWAYS starts off good, Drifting. If you read every single testimony on this forum going back to 2006, you'll clearly see that. but I want to do everything in my power to find out now if I'm actually facing anything you all have mentioned. Drifting, the fact that you're even on here not only writing about this but responding to my comments tells me you are facing what we have all mentioned, which is doubts about dating a foreigner. Any American should be very cautious about dating a foreigner, because there all kinds of scams and lies out there. If it appears that the coast is clear, I want to guard myself against the posibility of something like this happening in the future. The only surefire way of doing this is dump him and find someone who doesn't set off all of these alarm bells. That's not lack of trust, that's wisdom This tells me that you don't understand what a marriage is about AT ALL. If you have to have a prenup in ANY marriage regardless of what country you come fron, there is not trust. A prenup is legal protection should things break down. As a guy, I don't think I could ever marry a woman who wants a prenup. And if he's okay with that, well, that may just something about him that isn't very good either, Drifting. . I trust him (so far), which is why I'm pursung a relationship with him. If you trusted him, Drifting, you wouldn't be on here and you certainly would not be talking about a prenup. I'm not stupid, though, which is why I realize that even the person who seems wonderful can actually be a fraud. Well, the point is you don't HAVE to stupid to fall for this. No one on here is stupid, Drifting, and that includes you. Of course I'd be devastated to discover that he was, Yes, you would. but I've certainly been through worse. I can handle it. The problem I always have these kinds of comments is why would anyone risk this with all of these doubts? Why put yourself through that when there are so many other men out there? We'll see how it goes. So far, so good, but we'll see. There's lots of people in these situations who "saw". Only by the time they did, Drifting, they were out big bucks, years and got to start all over again because the whole thing was a scam from the beginning. Or in some of the cases we touch on, they are at home doing household chores, raising kids and not allowed to have male friends. You are ahead of the curve simply by investigating and questioning, but it won't matter if you keeping giving a liar/scammer what they want. They don't care if you're 110% fooled and charmed like a leprechaun or if you have serious doubts and just want to show off someone from a different country to elevate your political correctness or something in-between. Motives are irrelevant as long as they get what they want. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
Comment on this item |
Latest Articles |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2024 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes (The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998. For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.) |