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Mr. PhoenixReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Donna (United States), Nov 10, 2014 at 01:08 My reply may have sounded harsh before if so I apologize, was not my intent. My mother was born in Jordan and did the unforgivable she ran away and married a Christian man my father, this is how I have relatives in Jordan which do accept and love me but she never returned there after she married and I am full aware why out of fear. My relatives there also have citizenship in the USA so they have a clear picture from both sides. My male cousin, doctor there, said that he would say around 72% born after 1980 females have had sexual relations before marriage, many with multiple partners. When he said they are asked by physicians how will they feel about lying to their future husbands after the hymenoplasties which he said have become so commonplace there but still must be kept off the books through fear for the ladies and honor killings. He said the majority say to him they will feel no guilt at all as it is no business of a man's what they do with their own bodies and they can act it out on wedding night. The people know these procedures happen there regularly so why all the pretense that arab women are different from any other women. You asked about why not men in the area for me, I always worried when men locally approached me I will tell you why first they asked about my job, and seemed to be more interested in what I had than who I was. Second when speaking to men even on the job I have had the biggest urge to quickly cover my eyes and ask the man what color they are as some talk to my breasts and this was with me wearing my lab coat. I am average looking this I know, most approached me locally would soon start the beauty talk, but I'm intelligent and totally self reliant this also scares some men. The man I met online in the game I would not even go to skype with for over a year and had to download skype to do that.When he first asked me to send him my photo his first words to me were well your no beauty! My thought was, can it be an honest man. Both my parents were gone before my 22nd birthday and I have ran everything quite well alone. With work, school, houses to care for and friends seem to have moved in and are very welcome but most can't cook which I love to do, yes I was lonely when I met him online. He asked me about my dreams and told me his but his changed constantly where mine were quite simple. He became the man of my dreams I realize now through close listening to me. He knew I wished for a large family all at once he wanted that also. He knew I did not believe in divorce and he said he did not either one wife for life for him. Yes the line is that they can't have sex in the middle east. Think of rabbits! Do you think the women really wear all the skinny jeans and bright red lipstick for other girls? This is a form of advertising yelling hey look at me, look at my body. They make fun of how western women dress( the men do) guess what this is the same standard they should just open their eyes and look around even in their own homes, aboud said his 30 yr old sister wore tank tops I don't even wear those, as they expose the top of the breasts. So most of the men there looking for Virgin brides may end with a re-virgined bride as the doctors refer to them. A woman there after giving birth to 10 children can be a virgin again, modern medicine. They can even ask for a virgin certificate for proof and be given one. I asked my cousin do the doctors have any regrets performing the hymenoplasties and and he said no, that honor killings have nothing to do with islam and if off the book surgery will save even one life it is worth it. Abortions are also performed there. Before my visits to Jordan to my family when this man was supposed to come and never did, contacted after I returned to the USA with excuses, I had not known of this surgery as it has never been performed as far as I know in the hospital in which I work. Again I'm USA, but that happens there not here these procedures are mostly only offered in Muslim communities around the world, or close access for them. I think the ladies all that I met are beautiful but they are not meek and mild and innocent as stated, and quite outspoken and open when only women around. I will admit even at 27 a couple of them talking had me blushing which embarrassed me even more and they laughed. Again I did not mean to be or sound harsh but these men that have targeted us also targeted muslim ladies it isn't about dark babies it is or was believing we had found true love, our match, our mate for life. Naive ladies yes but look at the men there that are marrying Good Virgin Brides, naive men also in this world. This man that lied to me and approx 42 other women at the same time will probably be lied to when he goes to marry there, if he hasn't been already living a lie. One of his so called sisters could actually be his wife.I do thank you for your trying to warn ladies but we are no different from any other ladies do you know or realize last estimate 45.1 muslim ladies living in the USA were not married to muslim men but outside their religion? I did believe every word this man had spoken to me he said 14 yrs my senior and wrongly I assumed mature and would be a protective husband and father as I myself know I am in no way street wise and a homebody in every way when not working, kind of a book worm. His physical looks I will say would not have attracted me if I had seen him right away but the person he pretended to be that I fell for was the most beautiful person in the world to me inside and out, but I am more attracted to intelligent and kind. This is who he became while targeting me. In all these years he still hasn't (Talked) any of these women into anything they had e-mails and videos going back a little over two years before me. The one that actually made me know really know is one (married lady) he was calling baby and love to and said he was working 200 miles away right now(would have put him out of Jordan) and had only internet access when he came to visit his family.These dates he had just started skyping with me after year of trying to talk me into it. He was with me up to 9 hours a day on skype yet telling this lady he was working away and no internet access most of the time. I felt shame for him and guilty he did this to a lady because he tried to scam all of us. When I realized the extent of his scams I feel like he is a little boy in a mans body with a teenage boys mind. But it wasn't just women he did things too he talked nasty about his friends and belittled both his older and younger brother. When he said he was hungry no food he talked about his lazy sisters. Whoever they all were they fought between themselves constantly. I always asked him how does he have time to be online when his 86 yr old father was working from daylight to dark every day but Friday. He said he dad woud send him home because he looked tired. The one thing I never understood, his dad's daughter from his first marriage was the only one married, the 8 from his second marriage ranging 20s through 50s all lived at home all never married and supported by their father. Don't men there help support the family, my cousins do. Aboud said he didn't buy anything out of his pay but for him and he said his father gave them all allowance still. How can anyone learn independence in this way? All the hours these men waste on the internet why don't they go work and save dowry for that female they want to in the end marry, over 5 yrs internet scamming for aboud he could have amassed what he wanted through honest work in that time and been proud and honest about that. I love the Jordanian part of my family and their are many beautiful families there, I will treasure every trip there, but even my male cousins say they will not pick a bride from the middle east and they do it honestly with true intentions they have citizenship and money so do not need a woman to provide for them plus they have immense pride and honor that they are the providers. Even when I visit I have to watch closely not to look at even fruit or they will buy it even though I just looked. Every thing there amazes me, I don't really understand some of the protests, instead of protesting if each would instead have brought a bottle of water or small amt of food or simple helping someone in need in that time instead of marching and making noise things would improve and they could have filled a semi in that time with things needed for humanitarian needs instead of yelling about humanitarian needs. To me the protests was just loud noisy and the marchers threw trash all over. So much beauty there so much to be proud of yet all seem to depend on the next person to make things better instead of lifting a hand. I will say that I love the queen there, she is down to earth, caring, giving, she will one day make Jordan better I believe if men without a clue would start listening. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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