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Somalian with EuropeanReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Nicky (Estonia), Jun 28, 2014 at 13:24 I am a European Christian girl and I am in a relationship with Somalian guy for two years. Actually we were very good mates (classmates and friends) the first year after we've met and then last autumn started dating. Seems like we know each other very well, we are sincere on all the topics, can talk openly about our differences and which difficulties it might cause in future. I accept his religion, can tailor to it and always try my best to respect it. But myself I am not thinking of converting to Islam. For now all he requests from me is smth most European guys would request from their girlfriends- being loyal, not talking to lots of guys, not meeting lots of guys, not showing off way too much but he is not being hard on me! Although he is sticking to his religion and all the rules..but I always thought he just respects me the way I respect him and we understand that we are different that's why he never asked me to change or convert.. He haven't introduced me to his mom and sisters. Some of his brothers knows about me but I guess being with a non-muslim girl is not something that forbidden in Islam so he can easily tell his brothers about it. The fact he is not introducing me to the rest of his family he explains like this: "There is no such thing in Islam as relationship. There is only marriage. You can't just go out with girl. Therefore I can't introduce you to my mom as my girlfriend. She wouldn't understand. And it would cause trouble with her and between us then. I would have to choose and it would lead to conflict." I see his point, and obviously we can't marry now cause we are quite young for that. He still lives with his parents, studies- so do I. So nothing left for us as to hide our relationship for now and then he says in future we will see. I mean if we will still be together and decide that we want to create a family and will be ready for this then he would talk to his mom. And it's allowed for a muslim man to marry a Christian girl so he could tell her. But just showing it as we are going to marry not just simply dating as now. I just read here that if he is not introducing you to his mom then he 100% not serious about you. I would like to hear opinions on this specific situation. I think he is right here, I wouldn't like his mom to be angry with us and with him for dating a girl not marrying her. I think we just need to wait. At the same time I am concerned that after marrying most of muslim men change, if he allows me certain things while I am just being his girlfriend which means nothing in Islam, he won't allow me those things after marriage. He is an open-minded person and he never told me I will have to wear a hijab and never talk to any boys even my friends...but I guess I am being naive thinking that he will be the same as he is now. And also my mom says things as he is just having good time with me cause he doesn't want to marry a girl now and he can't, he also wouldn't able just go out and have fun with muslim girl, so he's chosen the best option- be with European now in order to have this kind of relationship and then when he will be ready for marriage marry a Muslim girl. When I told him my concerns that I can't be with him if I am not sure it won't finish, cause I am a girl and for me it's not like I can be with one man then with another...and he said he doesn't like these stereotypes, he also 'giving' himself to me without a guarantee we will stay together. That he also giving up a lot cause of me, missing out some prayers, lying to his family which is haram. So he is also doing some sacrifices and we are in equal position. Submitting....
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