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So depressed :(Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Naive woman (United States), May 30, 2014 at 20:07 I posted before about my story. Basically, I have been in a relationship with an arab muslim guy for about 13 years, shortly before 9/11 happened. In the beginning, he was not practicing his religion and was accepting of everything I did. Then slowly over time he became controlling and very critical of what I wore, ate, etc, especially after our daughter was born. I tried to break off our relationship, but he has told me before if I ever try to leave he will take our kids. I was so so mad at myself for getting pregnant again after I saw how he was changing, and also I guess I didn't want to believe that he wasn't who I thought he was. I have now found myself with a radically religious person who believes it is perfectly ok to impose his beliefs upon others. Our daughter recently turned 9 and he expects her to wear a hijab. She wears it because she is afraid that he will be mad at her if she doesn't. She is right. I was asking him how is it right to force women to wear it if they don't want to , like in Iran, and he says the ones who don't wear it are a bad influence on the young Muslims. I think that's BS, but I already know who I'm dealing with, as it's been years that I've been with him. We're talking about a man that has tried to kick me out of the house because one night I didn't want to sleep with him. I feel like I have no choices. I'm actually shocked that he even "lets" me attend colllege. I only have about 6 more months to go beforre I graduate. I need to be more financially independent. I am SO AFRAID of what he would do if I ever left him and tried to get custody of the kids. He has threatened me many times before, saying things like he will take them back to his country, telling me the police can't help me, no one can help me. I really hate him, but I pretend every day that I don't because I feel like my children's safety is at stake. I am also depending on him until I finish school. I just really tr to bite my tongue a lot, but I still teach the kids what I believe is fair and right, no matter how much he tries to brainwash them . He has said things like we should line up all the gay people and shoot them because they are ruining our world, and women and men were not created equally, women should follow the lead of their husbands (obey them). I think the only reason he has "allowed" me to go to school is because he is a very money hungry man and knows I will be bringing in an income. All the while he does NOTHING to help around the house, even when I was working full time. I am so depressed because I really feel trapped, especially because I know that right now I need to stay until my kids are a little older and I can support myself and them. Even when they are older I worry about what he might do to them or to me if we "disobey" him. I wish I could go back and change the stupid choices I made. I want to warn other women to please not make the same mistake. Like someone said before, these beliefs are so engrained in the culture, even if he isnt practicing his religion, it will come back eventually. You just can't take that way of thinking out of a person, especially when children come into the picture. This is kinda like a support group for me. If there are any people out there that have experienced the same things, can you please respond to me. I know there isn't a whole lot anyone can do for me now, I guess I just need some words of encouragement to get through this. It's so hard to live my life this way every day. I hurt for my kids too :'-( Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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