Prominent Muslims: Why Do They Hate Us?

Submitted by PDM (United States), Oct 1, 2008 at 21:37

Ever since the confrontation between the West and Islam began, the question "Why do they hate us?" has been topping the FAQ charts among Western leaders and intellectuals, tormenting minds and souls of the Western populace prone to introspection. Considering the magnitude of the problem, we have assumed that the same question similarly torments the minds of prominent Muslims in the lands of Islam. And indeed, our special Bridge-Building survey has determined that from Saudi Arabia to Iran to Afghanistan, in the halls of the prestigious Islamic universities and government palaces, prominent Muslims are asking the same questions: "Why us? Why the terror alert system? Why security checks at airports?"

Osama bin Laden, Founder, al-Qaeda:
Sometimes, I think the hatred arises from our "glass ceiling" that unfairly keeps women out of our executive suites. But I think that we really deserve to be hated because our lack of an annual gay-pride parade is interpreted as thinly-veiled homophobia. But that's such a misunderstanding! Isn't it obvious that we clearly don't need women to have a good time?

Muqtada al-Sadr, Commander, Mahdi Army:
Two things: Unions and health care. Technically, we're not a union shop yet, so people think that our soldiers aren't getting full health benefits. They say, "Muqie, how many pap smears did your people get during the last quarter?" Now see, we don't have many women working here, so I have my guys get pap smears instead. Had one myself the other day. We'll roll out a better plan when we sign up with the AFL-CIO after slaughtering the infidel invaders. So, give us a chance! Don't hate us yet!

Sayyid Hassan Nasrallah, Secretary General, Hezbollah:
It's got to be our lousy recycling program. I'll admit it, we haven't been paying much attention to it lately because we've been focusing our resources on killing every Jew on the planet. Still, that's no excuse for not sorting our plastics by color. We know that these materials aren't biodegradable, and can see why that could cause resentment. If it matters, we only use recycled steel for the ball bearings in our rockets, but yes, plastics are much more of an environmental hazard. Yet we hope you will find a place in your hearts to love us!

Ya gotta love it! see more at http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=835

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