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We're not at war with Japan

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Submitted by Jeff Billingham (United States), Mar 14, 2015 at 19:50

My fellow Americans,

December 7, 1941, a day that will live in infamy. But, my fellow Americans, the greater infamy would be, if we were allow this tragic attack, done by a tiny minority of Japanese, to disturb our relationship with the peaceful Japanese people. Japan is a nation of peace.

We are not at war with Japan. We are at war with those who have perverted Japanese teachings. And those who have done that will feel the full weight of the American justice system. This is no empty threat. If I have to send an army of lawyers ashore, armed with briefcases, on Iwo Jima or Saipan, then I will. And those caught here at home aiding those who pervert peaceful Japanese teaching or recruiting others to do so will be looking at 3, maybe even 5 years of prison, another sign of how serious we truly are.

Some have suggested, even some in our universities, like Ruth Benedict, that we should study Japanese culture to understand their strengths and weaknesses, with the obvious inference that we could and should use their weaknesses against them. But that's not America. That's not what Americans do. And this sort of hate speech will only work against us as we demonstrate our good nature and intentions to the Japanese people.

Others point to atrocity after atrocity committed by the Japanese in China and claim they should be held accountable for their actions. But Western imperialism in China has distorted their thinking and allowed their anger to boil over. Someday, anger will probably boil over elsewhere because of the Crusades as well. Most people in this world have little self actualization; they usually just react to what we Americans do, and then, our chickens come home to roost.

Yes, we're at war, but not a war we can kill our way out of. The Japanese need education and opportunity. They need access to American universities, engineering schools and flight schools. I will propose programs to respond to this need. Japanese emmigration to the USA also must be dramatically increased. Simply put, my fellow Americans, to know us is to love us.

In the coming months and years, you'll hear me talk a lot about that peaceful Japanese majority. Don't expect to hear me to talk about that violent minority. They represent no one and are hardly worth talking about. We'll talk about them enough in American courtrooms, and you will pay for their legal teams.

Good night and sleep tight.


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Daniel Pipes replies:

What a great - and informative - parody of Franklin Delano Roosevelt's "Day of Infamy" speech which can be read here or watched here.

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