from a girl's perspective
Reader comment on item: Misyar – Temporary Marriage in Sunni Islam

Submitted by khadijah (Egypt), Sep 23, 2008 at 00:46

i have been reading about all this mutah misyar stuff and i think a lot of people forget to ask the girls for our opinions. so, like it or not, here it comes.

mutah and misyar seem to have basically the same benifits and responsibilities. the couple agree on the terms of financial support beforehand. the children in both types of marriage are legal and inherit from the father but the woman does not. the main difference, as far as i can see, is if the girl knows in advance what is going on. personally, i'd prefer to know in advance that my marriage would end at a fixed time... say when my husband finishes school or whatever. i can plan for my life in advance and know what is coming. i can take steps to prevent pregnancy and protect my financial assets. i wouldnt give up school or work because i know what will happen... unless we decided to extend our contract.

with misyar though i WOULD give up school and work. i wouldn't be planning for days when i will be single again. i would be trying to get pregnant. i wouldnt my assets seperate from my husband. so basically i would be giving him my all like a dutiful wife... bringing him children and contributing to our income. then one day he comes home and says 'oh by the way, youre divorced cause i want to go home and marry.' wth? i would have just three short months to replace my income, find child-care, find a job, new home in addition to dealing with the depression of divorce

mutah is the humane way while misyar is just another ploy to 'get one over' on ladies. in misyar he laughs on her every day of the marriage. he laughs on her with every child she brings and every asset she adds to the marriage. he laughs on her in the most cruelest way... betrayal. in all honesty if i only had the choice between the two, i would choose mutah... enjoying my time with the man and preparing for life afterwards

to play with the arabic saying a bit... the shadow of a wall is better than that of a monster. ;)

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened for relevance, substance, and tone, and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome, but comments are rejected if scurrilous, off-topic, vulgar, ad hominem, or otherwise viewed as inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the Guidelines for Comments. For informational purposes, we identify countries from which comments are sent.