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Bridegrooms Who Marry in Fear

by Daniel Pipes
Mon, 21 Mar 2005
updated Sun, 17 Aug 2008

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We're all accustomed to the idea of Muslim girls, even those living in the West, being forced into marriage. This is the subject of much discussion, especially in Europe. Perhaps the fullest account of this problem is found in the 2003 study by Hege Storhaug, Feminin integrering (translated into English by Bruce Bower as Human Visas). One notable result was the joint launching in Great Britain (by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and the Home Office) of the "Forced Marriage Unit" in January 2005.

Today, Stewart Tendler of The Times (London) informs us that more than one third of forced marriages in Great Britain may involve reluctant men. Specifically, the Council of British Pakistanis estimates that this is the case in 38 per cent of forced marriages. Parents might have promised the boys even before their births; or arrangements are made with the parents of girl cousins so as to keep property within a single family. Tendler goes on:

There have also been cases where parents are concerned that their sons are gay, straying into bad company, becoming involved in crime or are going out with a woman from outside the community. Foreign Office officials say that in some cases the men are deceived into flying to India, Pakistan or Bangladesh to see relatives. They find themselves stranded in a rural village, their passports are taken from them and they are placed under extraordinary pressure. British High Commission staff have managed to rescue men after they manage to make contact. In one case, a young man was allowed to go shopping and was then picked up by diplomats waiting in a car.

As police investigate this problem, they face the usual difficulty that the victims - some of them abducted, intimidated, or beaten – are unwilling to give evidence against their families. Home Office officials are thinking about opening a refuge for bridegrooms.

	Chomir Ali (left) and his two sons Mohammed Mujibar Rahman (centre) and Mamnoor Rahman

Comment: The existence of this issue means there is yet one more obstacle to the successful integration of Muslims in Western countries. It prompts this observer to wonder how many more such issues lie hidden from view. (March 21, 2005)

Nov. 5, 2005 update: In a twist on this theme, a Bangladeshi father and his two teenage sons were just found guilty of an honor killing in Oxford, England. What makes the case unusual is that Chomir Ali, 44, ordered Mohammed Mujibar Rahman, 19, and Mamnoor Rahman, 16, to kill not his daughter and their sister, Manna Begum, but the 19-year-old Iranian Muslim boy who made her pregnant, Arash Ghorbani-Zarin. Islamic honor killings normally target the women-folk, bearers of the family honor, not the men involved with them. This horrid incident (Ghorbani-Zarin was stabbed 46 times, mostly in the chest) brings Italy to mind rather than the Muslim world. Dec. 13, 2005 update: At sentencing today, Chomir Ali got a minimum of 20 years in jail, Mohammed Mujibar Rahman got a minimum of 16 years, and Mamnoor Rahman a minimum of 14 years for their parts in the murder.

July 7, 2008 update: Less violent but also coercive: two brothers: Rachid (30) and Mohamed (33) and a brother-in-law, Ali (31) tried to abduct their brother/ brother-in-law on his wedding day in Brussels and spirit him off to Morocco, their ancestral country. They took these steps because they considered his bride unworthy, the prosecution asserted. (Although of Moroccan origin, the girl had Spanish citizenship.)During the wedding ceremony on July 5, they dealt the bridegroom several blows and tried to tie him down to force him into their car. The wedding party members intervened, prevented the abduction, and called the police, who arrested the trio.

Related Topics: Muslims in the West, Sex and gender relations

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