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Job Wanted Posting: President of The United States

Reader comment on item: The One-Minute Guide to Obama's Foreign Policy

Submitted by Dave (United States), Oct 14, 2015 at 17:17

Position: Assume duties as The President starting 2016. Location: Washington, D.C. Relocation assistance available.

Job Requirements: Must have familiarity with the country, have a good understanding of the Constitution. Be able to locate The United States on a map. English language knowledge preferred. Previous experience in political office a plus, or equivalent managerial experience. Must have a working knowledge of US history and be able to correctly identify the number of states. Clean criminal record is preferred. Appplicant must demonstrate an enthusiastic commitment to The United States and want to advance its interests at home and abroad. Must be able to differentiate democratic needs of American citizens from citizens of Iraq, Syria, Libya or Afghanistan. Must be able to distinguish The United Nations from The United States, and be willing to give strong preference to the latter. Must have basic knowledge of Islam and Sharia Law, and be able to identify problematic elements of the latter in relation to the Constitution. Must be able to identify Islamic elements of The Islamic State. Must demonstrate resolve in dealing with Russia, Syria and meet all strategic challenges decisively. Applicant must be able to distinguish American culture from other cultures, and be ready to champion its unique greatness. Must be willing to secure our borders. Applicant must not be confused, ambivalent or show messianic tendencies, while still adhering to Judeo-Christian principles.

Submitting....

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Daniel Pipes replies:

Clever.

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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