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To all of you,who got hurt.

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Hello

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Sep 3, 2018 at 21:40

Dear Ladies
I am so glad that you found this eye opening forum!!!
It is shame that more and more got hurt by those scammers!

I can feel all your pain...I was one of those a year ago.

Yes,it is scary,painful and awfully ugly what those rats can do to you,using your best qualities against you,breaking your boundaries!!!!
How many more lies you can swallow?How many more sleepless nights you will be crying laying sleepless on your pillow?Wondering of how many other women he scams at the same time as you?
There is clearly a reason to break up from all of it!

A reason of why that person will not make it to your present time,and was left in your past.

An "EX" means one big bold "X"to your so called "relationship" with that person.He is crossed off your life for good.
Do not hold on to someone who did not make your life better and made you hurt,because he will do it again and again -IF YOU LET HIM TO. Don't let him to !!!
Be good to yourself!

I am over it now,so I would like to use my experience as much as I can,to help others to recover,to give advice,if needed.

Yes,I am at peace -at last,and can speak up of my experience without getting emotional at all about him.

It is easy to say than do for those who recently found out whom they are dealing with,after the mask of the nonexistent Prince Charming fell off...you will see the ugly truth!!!!

Yes,it will hurt,but it will also be your first step to recovery!

You ,and only YOU,yourself -have to make this first and most important step to break away:
to cross off that person who is not good for you in any means,who only causes havoc and damage to your life,your mind and your heart!!!
Don't be sad,get angry get mad and set your self free from all the lies!

You are suffering now,but later this whole experience you're going through in the end will make you much stronger and much better and wise person!

There are great YouTube videos on how to overcome Narcissistic Abuse and how to break this trauma bond you are now in.
There is a channel called Soul GPS,which has very good videos to help you out and to get your life back.

You are not alone!

So many people can promise you the moon,saying kind words,making promises,saying how much you mean to them,....but when it comes to your needs or when you are not feeling well...that is another story....So always trust the actions not the words!

After all,I could care less about him.Just feel sorry for his next victim...life goes on.

He is not the one who made me happy,so by disappearing,he is not the one to take it away from me.
And never will be!

I am looking forward to more bright and beautiful sunny days,spending time with my family,new places to explore,new experiences to live,new discoveries!New books,new movies,new goals to reach!
There is no time to be sad at all!!!
Life is good again!!!!Just like a fresh breeze!!!

Say it out loud: "Good bye,sad thoughts,unhappy and unfulfilled dreams!
I am setting myself free!!!!"

This year is different for me ...
After that summer vacation I made some changes in my life.
Started to take better care of myself and changed my doctors to a better ones.
I started to take more time to rest and sleep before I got to the point where I feel exhausted.
I do not cater to someone's needs wearing myself off for them.

I cut my hair into much shorter stylish shape which takes less time to maintain in the morning.

I started to be more outdoors and in the nature than prior.

We adopted a dog from the rescue...this red hound mix goofball that makes everyone feel happy!

We love him to pieces!

I stopped caring for people who did not care at all about me,or only pretended to care ,only to see what they can get from me.

I let go of the things that kept putting me down or did not bring any good into my life...

I try to spend more time and effort with my family.
I teach myself something new,exciting and interesting.

I listen to Yanni -I went to his concert and actually met with him in person,and Mehdi...their music calms me down.
I often like to watch video with Yanni
playing his compositions-so passionately and sensitively.
Each composition filled with emotions,polished with time and life events,full of memories...Just like a child,each composition is conceived and delivered to the world in such perfection!

I wanted to thank you all who supported me,for your kind words!
Your support helped me to stand my grounds!!!!!

I think that some people were sent our way to teach us something about ourselves and to become a better person with clear boundaries and core values,and with clear knowledge of what we are looking for in a relationship.

Sorry,did not mean to vent here,but...
Yes,he still tries every which way he can,to get my attention,even after I blocked him everywhere,this weasel still manages to change his phone number to contact me.
He dared to text me that he was in his country and came back,he remembered me and brought me a decoration,so that I have to come to see him to pick it up.Really????Not even planning ahead for a date at certain time at certain place in advance,but just saying" here is my number,you can call when you can."
Really????
Do I have to ???? And then I ask myself-what for?So he can use me again??
Did he bring anything good to my life?-NO.
Did he made any effort to earn my trust or to know me better?-NO!
Did he make any effort to prove that he is serious about me?-NO!!!
Do I want to spend my old age,guessing if he will cheat on me,or as soon as I got sick,fat or ugly with age,circumstances and time-he will drop me for someone better?-NO!!!
Did I get any respect ? NO!!!
So why in the hell I would want to have someone around,
when I would have to question every single word or action of him???Is this the life I want to live?

When I needed help-he was always busy.
I was freezing in my car in a winter having flat tire,asking for help...
I was sick,he never wished me to get well soon,but demanded to see me as soon as I am better (???)
Could he, at least once, try to be polite?-NO.His crown will fall off!!!
I can do better without him!
P.S.What is past is past...Fall with it's falling leaves teaches us to let go of something that is dead,so that something new will have a place to come and stay.Just like the dead leaves falling off the tree branches,so that the new ones will grow in Spring.....
I am VERY happily married now- to a wonderful,caring and genuine man,from my culture and ethnicity,who treats me like goddess without me,asking for it,who wakes up before I do and dies the dishes at 5am every morning,who brings me flowers- just to see me smile again,who takes me on a trips and concerts and everywhere I want !!!!

So the "last laugh"- IS ON ME.

Trust me ,Ladies-one day you will meet your real man,and everything will just fall in place without a struggle for making the things work for a person who was not even genuinely feeling anything for you,where love is not a part of the equation,and this one sided love brings you only pain and sadness and nothing good!!!
Be patient and do not give your heart to someone who can not treasure it!
One day, someone right- will hug you so tight that all your broken pieces of your broken heart will come glued back together!

Big hugs to all!!!!

LANA (USA)

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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