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Make ur way the priority and lose this guyReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed (United States), Aug 28, 2016 at 03:22 Why u want to even waste ur time corresponding with this guy when it sounds like he doesn't hold long term potential even for u?(what I meant by that was that u don't desire a long term or true love type relationship) wouldn't u rather give that time to someone who can and WILL fulfill it every hope and need? Without being asked and right from the get go i.e. U don't have to give the relationship time to know it's right (because let's be real here, time and emotional and verbal correspondence IS worth something and u DO lose it if used on the wrong person) and u don't sound dumb, I don't doubt that u are every bit as attractive and youthful as u say In which case u should not have any problems finding a great catch and u can afford to be choosy. U don't need to settle for anything or compromise in any way. Even if long term commitment isn't ur game, and that's totally fine, u still are going to lack a lot of things with a man in another country that a man closer to u can give u (and he can be any race age or size, I'm not saying u must date a white man, ur age or older, has lots of money to support u; u can find what suits ur lifestyle best that's not for anyone else to decide) but this guy I can assure u isn't on level playing field with u, he has upper hands in many aspects and so do u, in relationships like that there is always an imbalance of power which leads to manipulative behavior in order to maintain the relationship (subconscious or unintended as it may be). I know that u were probably raised to believe there is no shame in co habitation outside of marriage and I personally don't think there is either despite what my religion tells me-I wouldn't do it but I don't think it's inherently wrong. If u were to live with a man (a western man being the only must) it would not be a problem for u, for him, for his friends, Family, for ur associates and the world at large. He would probably respect u too and not feel marriage is a priority. This isn't going to ever be true for a man raised in North Africa. Despite what he may tell u-of freakin course he is going to tell u it's okay to live together and be sexually intimate outside marriage!! U just basically told him he can be in a no strings attached relationship, gets his sexual needs fulfilled, not have to answer to u, not have to claim u legally or financially, not have any pressure to marry or change his ways whatsoever and the ease of moving to ur country and right into an established home with transportation etc. even if u aren't bankrolling the guy, it's almost as if u are in that case Bc the reality is, most often they come to USA as my dad did-with the clothes on their back, maybe a suitcase, speaking little to no English, knowing no one, and having to find work go to school obtain housing etc without anyone here giving them a leg up or to catch them if they fall. If he respected u, he'd never commit adultery with u even if it is cyber sex-in that culture it matters not at all, nor does it matter how in love or committed u are-if u aren't married, it's haram, period. Even if he isn't highly religious there are some things that are the mother of al sins and sex before marriage is one. If he respected u he would insist that u be married before he ever knows u in that way, and u couldn't convince him otherwise. No respectable Arab guy knows what is acceptable in ur culture therefore he will follow what's acceptable in his . The age difference as well-I don't doubt ur very pretty, u could be Angelina Jolie or whoever his dream girl is-but if u are more than 5 years older (10 for sure but it's pushing it) u can be more than certain there isn't the same respect or commitment as of the both of u were say, 28. A woman automatically loses value to them as a love interest if she is not of childbearing age and/or isn't a virgin or will sleep with him before marriage. If u sleep with him u will sleep with any man as far as he is concerned but he will never tell u that. If be worried if he hasn't introduced u to his friends even on social media or wanted to do that with yours. And who knows who u are taking ur clothes of for with this online sex business!!! U realize that it might feel distant and safe but it isn't this man could be a total sicko at worst and at best he is showing his friends-I'm just telling the truth and u u know how men are so let's b real here. Idk if I was u or ur friend I would say girl find someone who has something to offer u besides cyber sex and sporadic online chatting-and set an example for ur 25 year old daughter of a mom who doesn't need a man in her life unless he's got so thing to bring to the table!! Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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