|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
You are being strung along because he wants it both waysReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Oct 9, 2015 at 12:07 Avril: I know and can feel that there is like a 90 percent of chance that at the end he marry that Pakistani woman... Then why are you still even with him, Avril? Your instincts are telling you this will not work out. Listen to them! He is a very devoted muslim, good son and very close to his family... Right.....because devoted Muslims go on-line and do cam-chat with foreign women while based on what you said, he will marry someone else. So every time when i ask him what will be his decision he just says.. I don't know, i don't know about future. It is like he doesn't want even think about that for now. I bet not! Considering he's being very selfish and two-timing a couple of women. The proper, ordinary response to "I don't know who I want! Really I don't know!" is to leave him so he can figure it out. Of course, I don't know who in there right mind would want to put up with that nonsense, but I guess, Avril, you're pretty desperate to be with someone who is "different" and sweet-talks, huh? And I'm prepared for that even if he comes and we spend that week together... I'm not so sure you are, Avril. And why waste the time? And what, Avril, makes you think this will be over soon and you can just enjoy while it lasts? What makes you think he wouldn't want to continue these little escapades with his little Western woman on the side when and if he gets bored with his marriage? Think that doesn't happen? But then why is he still keeping this relationship with me? I think a better question is why are you still with him, Avril. As a guy, I can say he's probably with you because up to the you posted, more or less, you've bought into his charms. Could be his love something real? No chance. He will marry the Pakistani woman. He may feel caught between two cultures/women for now, but in the end, they pretty much go with tradition and family. So.. If he is not looking for citizen papers, sex, or money (in fact he said if i go to Canada i will just have to pay the plane ticket) ... What is going on here... Should i trust? If you trusted him, Avril, you wouldn't need advice from anonymous, third party strangers on-line from other countries. Could he has a hidden purpose? Yes. Either that or he is so naive, confused/mentally ill he can't think straight---or just consumed with lust/puppy love of being with someone who is different. Either way, Avril, it doesn't matter. And I doubt you'd be putting with all of this over a balding, pot-bellied Western peer you'd meet at the bar. You're so desparate for this to real, Avril, but it isn't. Regardless of what his motives are, he is not treating you right by stringing you along with this uncertainity, and if he were such a great guy and a great Muslim, he would be honest with you up front. Look at it like this: you are his free cam-girl. That's why he when he "finished" (I won't ask), he just got up and wanted to leave. That tells me he doesn't care for you, and you are just a quick release for him. Based on this: we get married in secret and then he marry that woman in Pakistan and try to manage both families... But with me staying in Mexico and the Pakistani woman living with him in Canada! It sounds like he'd love to have you around for a while, even after he's married. What's rather amazing is that you're still clinging to some faint hope against your better instincts that this will work, but really, the arranged marriage with the alledgeldy Muslim virgin from his own culture will always come before you. I daresay, Avril, you could choose to be attached to this man for the rest of your life as his free cam-girl/ emotional love affair. Then he melted me with all his compliments and words of love, -just like the stories of other comments here- he wanted to come in October or November for a week to meet me to Mexico, where i live. So, there's the rub. You haven't even met, and you're on here clinging to the hope of a marriage that he'll just turn his back on his family and come for a Western woman who has talked sexually to him on cam? There is no real love that happens over the internet. I was in a similar situation, Avril. I was seeing a woman I met on-line, and she was the equivalent of a sweet-talker as well. In the end, she used my money and credit to fool around with at least one other man. You are being blindsided with all of this sweet talk, no doubt, and this really could go on for YEARS. This is what may happen with on-line drama such as this. Avril, you don't have a real relationship, and like it or not, you are now second place with this Pakistani fellow. Now, if you want, I suppose you could stay like this for him for as long as he sees fit, and it's possible his wife never finds out. I'm not sure given the culture she'd be willing/able to do anything about it even in Canada. You're at a crossroads, Avril. Either you can ditch this illusion, or keep it going with all kinds of faux excuses, be his final (or occassionally thereafter) fling before the big wedding or even like a de facto second wife who is there for his sexual/emotional when the wife isn't, or you can get on with your life. If you want to throw it away on him, that's your choice. You're 31 and old enough to make your own choices. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
Comment on this item |
Latest Articles |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2024 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes (The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998. For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.) |