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Reply to Anne and her Moroccan husbandReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Nicole (United States), Jul 8, 2015 at 15:18 There are many things I want to say to you. Your 'husband' is a joke according to sharia law. A husband according to the Q'uran is expected to maintain and care for his wife 4:34. <-- surah and Aya. I am an American myself, I almost married a Moroccan in my younger years, ended up marrying a Tunisian. I was Muslim prior to meeting my 'Moroccan fiance'. I can tell you that as an American whether you're a revert or not it will ALWAYS be a struggle to maintain a marriage to an Arab. In his case in particular, he is not wealthy. Islamically, men are NOT permitted to date. There is a Moroccan proverb 'Go to the door not to the window' meaning, ask for the womans' hand from her guardian. I am not sure whether or not your 'husband' is legal or not but I can tell you it sounds like he's sniffing around for a green card, if not economic benefits from leeching off of you. The fact his keeps his finances seperated from you and claims you cannot meet his family should be the first sign to you that his level of commitment towards you is false. If I were you I would RUN screaming. If you do decide to stay with him because you're infatuated with who you would like him to be, do not be surprised when he starts making excuses that he cannot afford to provide for you or even himself due to his relatives being more entitled to his wealth than you. Forget having children with him. The fact you mentioned he is speaking with women behind your back should be a clear indiciation yet again that he is NOT devoted to you. By staying with him, you're proving to him that you do not value your own 'Sharraff' aka dignity/honor/integrity to get rid of him. I read that you said you had the same values and beliefs - umm not really. What he claims his beleifs are and what they actually are, are two very different things. Notice how he switches when he gets over here and secures his position in your life? As far as you not following the teachings of haddiths. As someone who has studied Islam from the time I was 15 (I teach Islamic classes friday nights to born Muslims) and I am now 31, I can assure you, there are many FALSE haddiths. There is a book called 'fake pearls' if you're ever interested. The Q'uran is the ultimate source of knowledge. Born Muslims will often have this sense of superiority over a revert which will force reverts into seclusion, a sense of belittling and an over all arrogant tyranny over the revert. Since more often than not the revert fails to actually study and understand sharia, they find themselves helpless, defenseless and ignorant as to 'why' they're treated what seems to be (and more often than not is) in an unfair/unjust manner. Call it 'cherry picking'. Chrisitans and Jews do it as well. This is basically where the born Muslim will impose restrictions, responibilities, guilt trips on the revert thanks to the revert's ignorance and willingness to please. Often, they wouldn't dare do it to one of their own because there is accountability for their actions. Especially their family's reputation. 'Shaming' so to speak. A husband's responsibility is to his WIFE first. The prophet (saws) himself stated that the contract most in need of being honored is the one where intimacy becomes permissable. In layman's terms, you should fullfill the needs and responsibilities towards your wife because she entrusts you with 'intimacy/ in a nice way. This is why for example, if a wife stipulates in her Nikka marriage contract he will never be permitted to take a 2nd wife for the entire duration of their marriage, he is bound to that contract due to the haddith. Yet, of course, many reverts are completely ignorant to this fact. You can fact check me on islamweb.net <--known wahabbi website or islamqa.com . Culturally, you're from the US. You're from the land of the kufr. You were raised by 'kufr' <--one who conceal's truth. Be ready for resentment from his relatives. I know of very few cases where the Western bride Muslim or not is respected. Usually, she's only as good as her pockets. I am married to a Tunisian, I should know. My marriage started out extremely rocky. We fought for 7 years. We've been married 10 years now. I felt trapped due to the children plus I have no family so that was a plus for him. Security of my kids come first. He's a great father except for the fact he would always put the needs of his relatives back home above the needs of his children, spiraling us into debt for their amusement. He bought them a home while we had no home. You, my dear, you're childless thus far. RUN. Fortunately, I found the strength and the words to reach my husband, I made it clear to him that I was no longer to be used, taken for granted, and if he wants to return to his country to live like a refugee in the house he built for his family, by all means go. His sister came here for a month in 2006 and she was aweful. The manners was unlike anything I've ever seen from anyone. The level of greed was astounding, but what was more astounding was how much my husband permitted the horrific behavior, again this goes back to their sense of entitlement. I was young then, 22 years old, 8 month old daughter, didn't really know what to do and was uncertain for my future since I had no support system. I do want to say that not all Arabs are like this, some are kind hearted, accepting, loving, I have some GREAT friends but again, I didn't specifically marry into their family. An Arab husband will indeed compare you to women from the blad (their home country) in every way shape or form, Weight wise, beauty wise, language wise, cooking, cleaning, you name it. Get ready for that. Your husband from personal experience is a slime ball. He did not give you your rights. Learn about Moroccan marriages and see why they marry so late. It's because they're expected to cough up enough money for Maher, wedding expenses, to set up the home, basically do right by her. Due to their economic status, they're forced to wait. In his case, he found an American sucker who is willing to accept less. You're not alone, happens to thousands of women in the West. Also, do not be surprised if you do stay with him, once he gets his papers from you, he ends up emotionally abusing you claiming he needs to marry someone from his culture who obeys and listens. Yet, where were they here in the West to marry him and give him papers? We have a running joke for these men they're man w****s They basically sell themselves to Western women under false pretenses and yet somehow attempt to brainwash themselves into believing they're shareefi men (honorable men). Run Submitting....
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