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To AmyReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Mama of a non muslim son (Netherlands), Mar 14, 2015 at 12:17 Waleikum Asalaam, May be peace with you too, I had heard countless horror stories about internet relationships, marrying foreigners, and the whole 9 yards. I went into the relationship with a lot of skepticism and reservations. Not for nothing. At least you are a warned woman. ...But, I fell in love despite that. Yes, he was urgent about pushing for marriage from very early in our knowing each other. I even married him before meeting him in person. I took a lot of risks in going forward with our relationship, and at times I admit I questioned whether I had made the right choice. Falling in love is not a choice, being with someone is. Why would you hurry? Couldn't he wait? I was scared to fully let my ex go, mainly because I was concerned if things didn't work out with my new marriage I would be left with nothing and no one. But then this says it all.... What are you thinking to find in another person that you can't find within yourself? Love for you? Why are you afraid to be left alone? My perspective is that it's lack of selflove when one is afraid to be alone. You can't love anybody else, not even Allah, if you cannot love yourself. My husband, given the circumstances, had every reason to walk away and free himself from that drama, but he didn't. Some example of a horrible Egyptian man, hm? Of course he didn't, They just LOVE drama in the middle east (and Indian subcontinent). Actually, for westerners this is drama, for them it's every day normal. I don't find him to be controlling or unreasonable, but his boundaries according to Islam are clear. I agree to them because I believe in them also. He is not asking me to do anything more than my Creator has asked me to do, and I appreciate having someone in my life that will hold me accountable to being the best muslimah I can be. That's the beauty of Islam. Because it's God's word, it simply cannot be unreasonable. It's all depending on the perception, like with everything in life. Reasonable sounds like compromising.. We want what Allah wants, and are willing to make the personal sacrifices to follow Him. Sometimes it feels risky, but if one really believes the Creator of all really is looking toward your best interests, there is nothing to fear. That's weird...you just said you feared Allah..and now there is nothing to fear? Anyway. What is it that Allah wants? What's this best interest? They are not truly living for something greater. Why you think? Because they aren't Muslim? It is entirely possible to meet someone sincere and humble, who will live their lives being true to you, themselves, and their Lord. It is entirely possible to meet someone who is a master con artist, who will sweet talk your legs open and your purse empty. You make it sound like there's just these options. And the second one, is very disrespectful. Like all these women (including me) just wanted sex. You sounds just like muslim men talking about western women... In a different commend you express your gratitude for the respect people pay in their commends towards you. Please do the same. How will one know the difference? The only way, my friends, is to have your trust solidly in the one Who knows all much better than any of us ever could. He will guide the sincere away from what's harmful, and toward what is good. My friend, You make it sound like there is you, and there is all the other infidels you fall into the trap. And that these women have nothing to live for, no greater good. I put my trust in the creator, without being a muslim this is possible. It's very dangerous though.It's blind fate. And that's lazy and easy. And it keeps us from taking own responsability in our lives. Also why it's dangerous (and again, that's a typical Islamic trap) is to trust in Him (whoever he is) so deeply, even though you are deeply unhappy and maybe in an abusive relationship, that you trust he will solves this, or worse, that you are into this because it's his will....And then you (or anybody) stay, because it's all his will, so he will probably reward you in the next life if you continue.... Very dangerous.....very dangerous.... Humans are evolving. We are creators ourselves. Fully responsable for our one lives. We create it, and with our thought, actions and words we do so. We manifest everything into our own reality. But thjis is just my perspective on things. You are a warned woman Amy, I truely wish you all the love and the best. May this man be the last one you marry in this live. And please find love for yourself, so you no longer have to be afraid to be alone. Peace! Submitting....
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