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I married and Egyptian and it's working out GREAT!Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Amy (United States), Feb 26, 2015 at 19:39 Assalaamu Alaykum, I was born and raised in the USA. I have a Euro-mix lineage, and converted to Islam nearly 12 years ago. I've been married twice before and have two children from each marriage. I am almost 40. I divorced my second husband last year, and by fall I met an Egyptian brother online. I knew a bit about Egyptian culture through friends I had who were Egyptian- both immigrant and born in America. I had heard countless horror stories about internet relationships, marrying foreigners, and the whole 9 yards. I went into the relationship with a lot of skepticism and reservations. ...But, I fell in love despite that. Yes, he was urgent about pushing for marriage from very early in our knowing each other. I even married him before meeting him in person. I took a lot of risks in going forward with our relationship, and at times I admit I questioned whether I had made the right choice. He also was twice divorced, but no kids. He was taking some risks with me as well, because I cannot bear any more children. He is two years older than me, and fortunately that was not a problem. But meeting an Arab man willing to give on that is rare, any muslimah knows this. Also it's known it's hard to find a good Muslim man who will take on 4 stepchildren, and deal with two ex husbands. He is a self made man, and I am professionally licensed and employed. Our intellectual levels are compatible, as is our level of religious practice. We get along on many levels, and I can say he fell deeply in love with me also. The number one issue we had in our relationship was about my most recent ex. When I met my husband, I still had a lot of ties to him. He was abusive all through my second marriage, and in turn I was highly codependent. I was scared to fully let my ex go, mainly because I was concerned if things didn't work out with my new marriage I would be left with nothing and no one. So we went lots of rounds about that, but little bit by little bit I cut every tie with my ex. It needed to be done, and I knew that all along. My fear is what kept getting in the way, to the point where I even lied about conversations I had with my ex or things I said to him. My husband, given the circumstances, had every reason to walk away and free himself from that drama, but he didn't. Some example of a horrible Egyptian man, hm? At this point, my husband and I are enjoying a lovely marriage. He is very attentive and affectionate. The issues with my ex are behind us, and I feel so much less stress. I don't find him to be controlling or unreasonable, but his boundaries according to Islam are clear. I agree to them because I believe in them also. He is not asking me to do anything more than my Creator has asked me to do, and I appreciate having someone in my life that will hold me accountable to being the best muslimah I can be. We are setting our focus on building a business and future together. What made our relationship work, where others may have failed, is the fact that both of us are sincerely committed to Islam and being good Muslims. We both fear Allah, and at the end of the day that is what governs the directions we move in. We don't put our own wishes or nafs first. We want what Allah wants, and are willing to make the personal sacrifices to follow Him. Sometimes it feels risky, but if one really believes the Creator of all really is looking toward your best interests, there is nothing to fear. Other relationships described here are such that one or both in the couple are making themselves the higher priority. They are not truly living for something greater. They are not trying to fulfill their purpose by God in this life. No relationship- not between two Christians, two Muslims, two easterners, two westerners, or any other mix of people- will ever succeed in the long term if people are not submitting to a master plan that was pefectly chosen for them by the One Who made all. It is entirely possible to meet someone sincere and humble, who will live their lives being true to you, themselves, and their Lord. It is entirely possible to meet someone who is a master con artist, who will sweet talk your legs open and your purse empty. How will one know the difference? The only way, my friends, is to have your trust solidly in the one Who knows all much better than any of us ever could. He will guide the sincere away from what's harmful, and toward what is good. Submitting....
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