|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
thanks LuigiReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by ConfusedmMind (Netherlands), Aug 7, 2014 at 06:06 Hi Luigi, Thanks so much for your reply and for shedding some light. It is difficult to read sometimes, as my heart wants things to be different and to believe the fairytale story I have created in my mind about this. The immaturity is definitely a point. He cannot deal with me and has been taking my business for granted. There were moments where I really had to work and he was disturbing that, demanding attention, and when I said: where do you think the money is coming from? he was offended. He does not respect the times that I need to talk to my clients and has made me upset just before or immediately after, leaving me to dry my tears before a meeting. I am working hard for my money and he has been taking it, like I'm a cash machine. I believe he might love me and I also do not feel he is a regular scammer (his ego is above that, because he has studied and says he comes from a good family) but I do feel he might have a hidden agenda. Why was he working in a tourist area in the first place, when he has a university degree? But he had an answer for everything, said he liked the scenery, that he was planning to move on after the shop got set up etc. I can't argue with that. I have a feeling I was part of a long term plan, because I think they all know that if a woman gets pregnant (and he tried to get me pregnant from the beginning but I said no), she wants to be near her family and her mum. Maybe he thought to stick it out, until I would move him to my country. But again, this is guessing. The questions unanswered are a pain, but I feel something inside me is stopping me to go and find out. Especially with baby, who is my blessing and my love from now on. Still, the what-ifs are driving me crazy! But most people tell me to look at reality, not at what-ifs.... not easy!! Apart from his motives, I probably mainly have to look at the SITUATION itself, and Luigi, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that I should STOP making excuses for him. Because I do that. I tell myself he is younger, he needs time, he has good intentions, I am also responsible for starting this, etc. But you are right, I have no reason to trust him. Although I have never caught him on anything, he also hasn't done anything to gain trust or to show he will take care of us. AND the arguments, possessiveness, etc are maybe the worst. Even if his intentions were good, how to live with a man who tells me only muslims have a sure ticket to heaven. So many moments flashing through my mind, little things, but very important. I was scared at one point to go out of the house, in case he would find out I had been visiting places on my own. I was scared if a man would talk to me and he would find out and blame me for it. I was changing my face, my friendliness, because he said I was too friendly to people, to taxi drivers, etc. And he said it was for my own good and that he would let me to be free in my country. Thanks Luigi, and thanks for all the women with stories here, I have read them before and because some of them are so shocking, I thought 'mine is different' but I guess most women think that in the beginning. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
Comment on this item |
Latest Articles |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2024 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes (The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998. For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.) |