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I have an Egyptian man....Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by rtheyserious (Canada), May 13, 2014 at 23:22 Hi all, I'll call myself rtheyserious because I'm baffled with some of these guys. I actually was so baffled how thick they could pour it on, I seeked some information because it seemed kind of obvious that something was up. I mean what is it they don't get about "I'm not interested". Well, after reading some of the stories on this site, it sure pi--ed me right off that so many could be had by these so called men - not because of stupidity but because it sickens me that anyone can take advantage of an innocent human being and not give it a second thought. They're being played by pro's, narcissistic ones at that. These women are going in with real feeling and these dudes know it so they play a game they are good at and with all the "I love you's" and professing their ever dying love, it's easy to see how they can convince the smartest individuals. Sure, I could have stopped any communication weeks ago but I'm actually having a lot of fun getting him to believe I'm falling...NOT! I haven't been much on the social media scene, I just think it takes up too much of people's valuable time and think we're all losing out because it seems nobody communicates in person anymore (in my humble opinion). In my case I'm in business for myself so I also know that it is important to keep up with the rest of the world so.....here comes facebook. I think I have approximately 10 new arabic (mainly egyptian) men messaging me daily, I hate to say I'm actually playing along with it but I am, well one in particular. Coming off a 15 year marriage, I don't think I'm quick to jump into any relationship let alone one with someone half way across the world with such cultural differences. I should mention that I work with muslim people and my best friend is from Egypt originally and came here to practice medicine with her family about 10 years ago. Her and her families morals and ethics are similar to mine in the way that I too was brought up with a european mentality from my parents (good girls don't, respect yourself....you get my point). That said, I might be older than this 35 yr. old and of course he's okay with it (okay bud) but I think after 6 months of communicating on skype he's noticed I'm pretty self confident, I don't look my age, I am blonde and blue eyed (apparently this is supposedly some of the types that are being targeted) and I'm sure as he sees from my facebook and some of the comments I receive from quite a few guys (beautiful, gorgeous, sexy...) and please I'm only saying this to make a point - I hardly come across vulnerable with no confidence in myself (doesn't mean I don't have my moments). I could see the slow manipulation, how he tries to introduce the religion, talk about the future etc. How I haven't driven this guy mental is beyond me lol. He's tried the seduction online (I need you) game but all he's received from my end is "good girls dont, I won't lay down with anyone without a marriage license, I'll do pretty much anything for my man but we'd have to be married". Oh, did I mention after a few weeks something came up about money but not related to either him or myself (possibly a slow introdution to getting to the topic of money). I decided to hit him hard - I told him I declared bankruptcy because my ex took everything from me....I figured that would of done it but nope, he was so loving and sympathetic, oh and did I mention he was supposedly divorced and living on his own? lol, okay bud. Well one day he was commenting on online fb friends and how I should delete some of these guys that appear to be after me and that "I shouldn't trust any guy, especially from arabic countries that ask for money..". I told him that wouldn't happen so good luck to the guy trying. Well lets' fast forward, one day he seemed so upset, I wasn't giving in to anything - after all, the only thing he asked me to do was "stand for him" so he could get a head to toe view, I gave him one leg at a time but fully clothed of course. He claimed I was worse then the muslim girls (imagine) and had more rules then the Quran. Everytime he dares to say anything that goes against the Quran, I call him out on it, and this I'm sure drives him nuts. Getting back to my point, he was a little irritated one day and started typing in capital letters, so I wrote "Ugh, you mind telling me why you're yelling, what is it you'd like me to say or answer since it appears I'm not satisfying you with my responses"......so he comes back with 'I WANT YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME". I paused but only for a few seconds and responded, "of course I love you, you are dear to my heart" let the games begin... So now we're supposedly in love, he hasn't seen much of me but the pics of me online (health/fitness/medical field) and although he'll try, I will always come back with something like "I'snt that harim sweetheart", (sarcasm city) I think that's what it's called...the guy can't win, and yet he is still around professing his love, trying to convince me that he wants absolutely nothing from me, just me (I'm so honoured). Of course he knows I would never step foot in an arabic country, not in a married capacity anyway, I've been clear about that - although visiting Egypt has always been a dream of mine, as a tourist that is. I've also mentioned that my favorite holiday is Christmas and I wouldn't give that up for anyone, besides, I said "anyone changing their religion for the purpose of marriage when they never considered it prior to meeting that person is doing it for the wrong reason". So we're at the point now that I'm his "love", "my love" this, "my love that"...."I love you so much, I miss you, I just want to touch your face"...it's not hard to see why one wouldn't fall for the act but I've learned to have a thicker skin I guess since my break up. Oh, I said something like "if there's any chance of us getting married (oh yeah, I'm running) then we need to start being honest with eachother. I mean imagine, if I really fell for this garb, that would mean that I'm actually discussing marriage and a future with someone I haven't seen in person, someone I really know nothing about AND we're just now going to ask each other questions about eachother....ugh, I don't think so. So of course after I ask him for the truth I've got to say I was almost impressed when he admitted he was married, had a child (wow, is it possible lol) and was not happy with her, she doesn't visit his family, and that he didn't want to marry her but he sacrificed his own happiness as to not disappoint his family and her family and he went one extra step when he had a child with her - the wrong step that is. Your child is looked at as a one step too far deal? Really? Then he basically said he often thinks about what her life will be like so he stayed even though all they do is fight.....He said he felt so relieved that he had told me the truth and that everything else he told me about him being an engineer and having a big family etc. was true but that he lied about the marriage. I told him that I appreciated the truth (gag, hiccup, cough up a lung) but he should know me by now, I would NEVER break up a family, especially where a child is involved. He shot back with I don't love her and it will not work, I love you".. .I went on to say I could and would NEVER share "my man" with any woman, this marrying up to 4 women deal is off the table for me, I actually got him to commit to a few things in writing if I'm to go through with the wedding and he agreed (wonder what would happen when it came down to the signing). Oh, he also told me he will NOT sleep with me until marriage so I have nothing to worry about but that after that we wouldn't see daylight...(sorry for that visual folks). He keeps telling me he's a "very jealous man" and he would protect me from anyone and when married? He would die if anyone laid a finger 10ft from me - wonder what that really means in his language. I always say "there's no need for too much jealousy sweetheart, I only have eyes for you and if you're my man, that's it, I'm faithful for life". You can see by the look on his face he's dyyyying to say something but he holds it together.....how? He all of a sudden has to go to work "out" never fails. I often wonder once we get off skype if he's throwing things across the room. When we were online and he could see the comments coming in on fb, his demeanour was changing before me but I kept at it, "there has to be trust in a relationship...." (I'm telling you I'm surprised he hasn't jumped through the screen yet). Ths time he took a different approach, he said "he loves me so much he likes it when I have him on top of my list and he never wants that to change". I'm still trying to figure when it is I said something to that effect. Well, I apologize for my sarcasm but I guess seeing some of the stories on here I'm trying to get some of the girls to smile or laugh even a little bit because my heart does go out to you and I feel your pain, I'm sorry you had to be subjected to all this. I guess if anyone is interested, I will come back and follow up with "my romance, love of my life" story. Until next time, take care of yourselves girls, forgive yourselves and move on with however long it takes you. I will also say this, I do not believe everyone is made from the same cloth, there is good and bad in all countries and all religions - my best friends are muslim as I mentioned and they are the sweetest, kindest and most loving people I know. But if your gut is telling you something doesn't fit? LISTEN, chances are you are 100 percent right. Last thing I promise - LISTEN carefully to his words, how he just throws them in nonchalantly without any forethought. He mentioned that if I was in Egypt with a short skirt for example, I could get raped, and when we next spoke I said something like "okay so let me get this straight, if I came and wore a short skirt with heels, held your hand on the streets, we could possibly be thrown in jail, I'd probably raped" is that right? Then he says "nobody would be allowed to rape you but...") I shot back with "but????? what", I'm gonna guess you'd know better that to say that word with me? Shut him up pretty fast.... Okay, not I'm done, good night girls. Sorry for making this so long. Submitting....
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