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My experience with an "Egyptian man"Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Praying for Egypt (United States), Apr 23, 2014 at 18:04 I have been in an online relationship with an Egyptian man for 5 years. I seriously thought love was universal and that there weren't any restrictions for any couple in love. The first 3 years, we were so much in love, talking about how we would make each others happy. I don't think we ever planned realistically on our future about our likes and dislikes as far as the rest of life goes outside the romantic box. I tried a few times to ask, but often that seemed to make him distant, so I stopped trying. After the third year, I started asking a lot of questions. He didn't like this and he disappeared for a few months. He returned with news that he was marrying his cousin because he couldn't wait any longer for me to come to him in Egypt. I thought that this was weird but apparently, it's a family tradition in Egypt for dynastic reasons. More or less to protect the wealth of the family. His cousin gave birth to their son the following year. He came back to me after 10 months because he said he wasn't happy and wasn't in love with his wife. During the time he was offline, I did a lot of research online. His religion, the family traditions in Egypt, marriage laws, courting rituals, his email addresses, his accounts online...I wasn't going to leave a stone unturned. My investigations online were very disappointing to my heart, but intellectually, it was interesting. I'm grateful though that I didn't have to learn the hard way. My career in the medical field has prepared me well enough about scam artists because I worked with elderly patients and it was critical to my job to be able to notice if an elder was being abused emotionally, physically, and financially. He said he had taken a job in KSA because economy in Egypt was bad. It didn't surprise me when my Egyptian man tried to get me to send him 10,000 EGP because he was going to be sent to jail for 10 months in Saudi Arabia if he couldn't come up with the money. I told him I would be here for him when he got out but that I would miss him in the meantime. I caught him in another yahoo account before the yahoo chat rooms were closed down 3 days after he said he was going to jail. He returned to the account he usually chats with me and said he escaped to Egypt before his court date and he even found another guy to pose as him in the other account (stupid and funny, the guy didn't even resemble him at all). The reason I stayed chatting with him? I wanted to find out what else he was willing to lie about. I found his Facebook account. The first name was fake, but eventually he changed it to his real name after he had gotten married to his cousin. Before he got married, I was able to see what other women he was interacting with on his messenger because he often left messages on their Facebook saying "need you badly on messenger". All from Countries where he needed to obtain a visa to enter. He was born in Al Jaddah, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. His brothers are from Saudi Arabia. I was beginning to think his mother is from Saudi Arabia as well. When he wanted to marry me, give me babies, live in Egypt or in America, we talked about how to make it happen. I never discussed who would pay for the fees because I hadn't gotten to the websites where it states that Egyptian men are responsible financially for the welfare of the woman he is marrying. I knew about the mahr, or dowry, but I felt weird about it especially since I'm not Egyptian. I just knew an Orfi marriage wasn't legal and when I asked him about it, he said he would give me an Official Marriage. I told him the Embassy wouldn't grant us our marriage knowing he's already married. This solidified my suspicions that he was living in Saudi Arabia with his wife and son, as well as his mother and brothers, hence, his hesitance to introduce me to his mother and the rest of his family when I get to Egypt. It's because they are in Saudi Arabia. There's a woman from UK who is married to an Egyptian man. She said her husband defended her honour and demanded respect from his family for her when he announced he wanted to marry her. I asked the same from my Egyptian man. He said he didn't want a confrontation between his family and me because he was scared to lose his family. He lied to me when he said we would get married secretly then we would announce our marriage after the fact so that his family would have to accept me. Nevertheless, one site says the reason he's not willing to introduce me to his family is because he's ashamed of our relationship. He only wants to gain something from me, then get rid of me once he gets what he wants then return to his life as if nothing had happened. His family wouldn't know any better because he would keep it a secret from them and his reputation wouldn't be marred. If I only had the balls to send his family all the pornsite accounts he opened up that I found on the Internet. He talks on his Facebook like that of a Salafist mind: Religious. But he's a Muslim Brotherhood supporter, so I'm confused. I've gained honest friends from Egypt who live in Cairo, Alexandria, and Hurghadad. I've had to sort through the dirty minded, sexually depraved mindsets of many men, deleting and putting them in the ignore bin. I enjoy talking to the friends I've made and one of them even invited me to his wedding to his Egyptian fiancee because I said I was curious about how Egyptian weddings are held. I have an open mind. Just because of a few hundred bad experiences, I'm not letting a few of the golden ones seep through the cracks. I fell in love with Egypt because of one man, but he isn't really from Egypt. I guess there's a reason for everything that happens. God Bless Egypt! Submitting....
Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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