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Bad Stories, Information & Internet ExperienceReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 22, 2014 at 22:07 Sue: There is nothing new about what you are saying. My first response to you was not printed -- I suppose b/c I responded outside of the protocol. I'm sighing as I read this, Sue, because it means that your comment was probably rude and offensive and thus not posted. This signals me that you are being very defensive about a personal situation and that in and of itself is a huge red flag. If this is about a relationship, you should not even need to come on here and defend it if it's so great. However, after thinking more about your email, I do have a few, more reasoned comments. That I stumbled onto this website's blog was a real find, and I am thankful to have read so many comments that echo some of my own experiences. I don't think people just "stumble" onto this. People come on here looking for information, usually (if not always) because they don't trust a romantic partner. Given the nature of most of the stories, who could blame them? I especially asked for comments regarding family law practices in Egypt at the local level -- specifically divorce -- You did more than that on here, Sue. Are you talking about an Orfi marriage? and yes, I do not care to share with you the why of that question. That sets off all sorts of alarms. The tone of your email is contemptuous (dtd. 2/7/14), No it isn't. And to clarify, these are not e-mails, these are posts. How much experience do you have with the internet? which makes me very skeptical of sharing much information with you., That's more of your loss than mine, Sue. Myself and others are on here to help, and I don't think these back-and-forth posts do much good, but a response to some of this is necessary because others are out there who need counsel and direction. If you're going to act like that, the response is going to be more fraternal than counsel. I can understand your frustration, but we are not the enemy. Perhaps you have not yet encountered http://www.americangirlsworld.com. I am quite doubful that anyone is going to encounter a site that is loaded with details and post after post after post of great relationships, because those involved in such great relationships are too busy enjoying it to care what others think or to even consider caring what others think. If you have a solid relationship, you shouldn't need support or assurance from a blog----including this one. This American woman shares good stories about her marriage to an Arab. Did you even look at the blog? This woman met her husband on-line and they "went out" for a months and then got married. That in and of itself is a red flag and the testimonies on this site indicate that in the strongest degree. The author in one comments section couldn't understand why a foreign man would want the woman in the "relationship" to pay for most everything? Does the term "getting used" ring a bell? Those who seek such advice should be VERY wary! Being married is not some kind of finish line. There are plenty of stories where marriages fall apart amidst scams and lies years later. Furthermore, I would point that is actually one story; by skimming the blog, I do have some food for thought. I really wonder about her relationship. The blogger seems easily offended by what a foreign newspaper writes. Someone who has a solid relationship shouldn't worry about such things and I'd like to know why she has so much time to write about that. As I have said on here many times, those who are secure in their relationships do not need to come on-line and defend their relationships, nor do they care what strangers on-line think. They are too busy enjoying their own relationships to care what we think. I also have to say that I would be concerned about someone who strives so hard to go the extra mile (especially when getting little to nothing of that in return) in a different race/cultural/ethnic/nationality relationship. This kind of excessive charity and even pandering is a sign of concern. I would also ask: How many blogs are there were foreign men defend their relationships to divorced, older women with kids or naïve First World teenagers or college students wrapped in the shroud of political correctness or that they are just "in love" with the man's culture, not him, because they cannot trust him deep down? She also understands that not everyone is so fortunate to find someone who reciprocates their love, and I would agree with her. That's too general. Trouble comes when persons use general phrases like "everyone isn't so lucky" or " However, I feel fortunate, also, in having found someone with whom I feel loved by and love deeply. I'm starting to wonder if you even trust him, if your feminine instincts are telling you this is not a good idea. It does happen. Why should I think it has happened here or on that blog? Just because you said so? You're not even willing to tell the whole story. I can only tell you it is my reality. A very insufficient basis for a good relationship, and we've heard that before on here in so many words. Good relationships don't tell, Sue, they show. I can understand why you may feel so incredulous; Not the word I would prefer, but skepticism in this regard is good, Sue. Also, I'm not the one on here getting angry and defensive. In the final analysis, it's no significant skin off my back if women (or men) on here want to waste time and money on uncertain relationships with partners they do not trust…… and would instead waste even more time by lashing at me or other users instead of addressing the real problem which probably lies either with the relationship or is personal in nature. however, not all Arabs are the same – haven't you ascribed to this rhetoric yourself in past postings??? What I do not ascribe to is excuse-making, including the excuse of "well, not all men are the same, so my story/relationship is real". A good relationship should be able to stand on its own without excuses, defensiveness or caring about what other strangers think. In any case, don't think that getting angry with me or anyone else on here will solve your problems or answer your questions. I think whatever your situation is, it sounds messy and on a bad road. Your other posts have shown me that you don't much experience in this at all and do not understand just how deep and organized these scams and lies can go. They prey on people with your mentality. As I said before, I can understand the frustration you may have or why you'd be involved with a guy in a particular international situation. No one in their right mind can possibly blame you for having feelings for a man who pays attention to you. But Sue you must understand that is not enough. It shouldn't be enough for any woman to examine a relationship solely or mostly on that. You need to ask yourself if you would allow this to happen with an American man your own age. Would you go on-line and defend him and care what myself and others thought? Submitting....
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