To Krissy: Tip & Recommendation
Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 20, 2013 at 23:34
I would strongly advise a comprehensive search of this site if you think that someone else is talking to the same romantic partner.
It wouldn't be a first if you found someone else on here who was.
Also, please do familarize yourself with the advice and recommendations while you are here. You really won't find a site like this.
In response to your questions:
I am amazed though at the sheer volume of men from morocco (and other countries I'm sure)s
This goes far beyond the men of Morocco. In fact, with the notable exception of craigslist, international/online dating has been more dangerous to First World men than women.
Make no mistake, Krissy, some of these scammers are professionals. The way they seduce women (mostly vulnerable women who are single parents, recently divorced, much older or on holiday without their kids and their guard down). It's literally what some of them do to make a living and there are all kinds of schemes.
In my own experience with talking to women abroad, I wasn't even sure if the people I was talking to were women.
Some of them pretended to be from small towns in the American Midwest and South, but would have e-mail addresses corresponding to say sites in Russia.
It's not even a new idea; this nonsense has been going by more traditional forms of communication (phone, snail mail) long before the internet.
Is it just dismal there? Why are they so desperate/motivated to get out
The motives vary. It can go from a devout Muslim man looking to convert a non-Muslim for his own purposes to just getting out of a dismal, oppressive place to just for kicks or even the usual suspects of sex and money.
In terms of money, they rarely will ask directly for it; there's often a sob story to go along with it. My experience in the Old World is that internet is something of an investment, it's not like here in North America where you can go to a library and get on for free.
I would always ask in this situation if a man needs money for his sick parent or to eat, why he's paying for internet and on-line dating sites.
That's just the tip of the iceberg, and if you're serious about learning about what a dark art this can be, it does take some time and critical thinking, especially if you didn't grow up with the internet and it's something new to your generation.
I would even advise caution when dating on-line locally. I have observed over the years that people who feel they must go to the internet to find social acceptance and/or love often have a problem. It could be a rough patch in life like a divorce or realizing that your live-in boyfriend of 10-18 years isn't really interested in commitment afterall or a person might have a legitimate mental illness or developmental disability.
And really, if a man is on-line at 3 am local time, what does that really say about him?
One last thing: Where women really get into trouble on here is when they have a double standard for someone they meet on-line versus at the bar or on a regular date---ie, oh, he's from X country, is Y religion, younger than me, so it's all fine...
Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".
Reader comments (16835) on this item
Comment on this item
Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum. Daniel J. Pipes