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Guest on iraqi Man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Iraqi man - comment from Straight talk Luigi

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 20, 2012 at 21:32

Is there a way to upload a photo?

There is not currently a feature for that. You can link to external websites, however.

Are you a man or a woman? Just curious.

A man.

I would like to know however what makes you think I am much older? You mentioned it was obvious from the "Get Go".

Because almost all the stories on here about women who are 35 and older. The posting pattern on here is very similar. As I mentioned earlier, I grew up with the internet and have been blogging for well over a decade. I can tell by what people say and how they write. Call it a hunch mixed with experience.

I wish there was a way to upload a photo of us both so you could see for yourself. I am older, but it has never mattered to him.

And I wish you could see that is said on to women on here all the time. I've had older women from Latin America and Russia tell me the same thing.

I keep reading the posts here and I am beginning to think for every bad story, there is also a site with very good stories

That's come up in previous discussion on here. There isn't going to be a big site with lots of good stories because people who are in good romantic relationships do not need to defend their partner on-line. It's even occurred to me that people who do this may even be defending their relationship at the exact same time their partner is cheating on them. In the case of international men from places Iraq, Most Iraqi Muslim men will marry Iraqi women.

By the way, have you ever seen one of the men described on here defend his relationship with a Western woman 20 years older than him?

I am hoping to fall into the good story category. It is a real shame that there are so many horrible stories on this site but being older I am a little more cautious than most.

Being cautious may not get you anywhere. There's a difference between being cautious and poking holes your date, figuratively speaking, but that usually happens on the first few dates. You're still doing this because you don't have enough information and though you like to say that (perhaps provocatively) that what he says is better, the reality is that you don't trust him.

At some point, you will need to make a decision, and the problem with on-line dating is that you don't have enough information. If you did, you wouldn't be on here. Your hope by questioning all this advice is to exhaust your doubts and maybe even find information you're not getting from him.

That is why this relationship is a waste of time.

I have since spoke to my Iraqi man, whose name is Hussein, about a lot of the conversation and posts.

I figured that, and his response, of course, is predictable:

It does sadden him and he is adamant that the percentage of bad people gives all middle eastern men a bad name.

You have to take that with a grain of salt. Most of the good Middle Eastern men are with good, compatible Middle Eastern women. That's what happens on planet earth: people will date and marry other people who look and think like them. It also means the success of the relationship has a better chance.

Besides, women tend to write off ALL men for a while once they've had a really bad experience. It's normal, and it does reflect on here. That really can't be stopped by me.

This forum is not a litmus test for all Muslim men, rather, it is a test for men who seek to lie and scam women on-line or while they are on vacation (holiday).

He did tell me something new, his mom is Shia and she married a Sunni. Hussein also shared with me that his cousin, who was married last April, was Sunni and married a Shia. He also has many friends both Shia and Sunni.

Stop right there. Why did he say that? Because you told him we said it is odd in Iraq to have mixed Shia/Sunni families?

That's real convenient.

Hussein is not a very religious man,

Your impression of this also concerns me. The fact that a man takes a break from his religion to have sex or mess around does not he's about to give up wholesale just for you.

Furthermore, some religious men expect their wife (or wives) to be as perfectly religious as possible and dole out all the homemaker chores while he acts modern and has nights out on the town.

At the very least, this won't be as simple and easy as you are trying to convince me that it is.

and it was only a few years ago that he learned the difference between Shia and Sunni. he still doesn't understand where the opinions come from

Oh, just from people and women who've almost exactly where you've been completely scammed and lied to.

and said that life is Iraq is like most places..You have the very religious and the not so religious and all try to live in peace and keep harmony.

That's splitting hairs now. You shouldn't have to use Iraq's cultural & political landscape to justify this relationship.

There was a comment I received that men in Iraq would not have girl friends because men are not allowed to date. Quite the contrary, and he even showed me video from Iraq of mostly college girls and guys dating.

I'd say that video, assuming it was what he told you it was, is not representative of what Muslim scholars and those in power in the Middle East have envisioned. It's not as uncommon as you think, and despite the reputation of conservative religious nations you can still find sex and party if you know where to look, not that I would recommend it.

For you, Guest, that wouldn't help you in legal dispute over there. The fact some teenage kids in the Third World mess around when the powers in national government that be aren't looking is a pretty weak justification that things over in the Middle East aren't as unfair as we think.

Just remember that when you go there or move there or do businesses there, it's not sexed-up college kids who running the place.

I'm really not sure where a lot of the people on this site get their information from,

Try years of personal experience and in my case nearly two decades of watching the internet evolve and devolve. I myself had nearly a decade of off and on internet dating including investigations.

You wouldn't believe the stuff I've found over the years: Photos stolen from Hawaiian models used as dating profile pics to cases where it even seemed like men were talking to me instead of women.

I've lived with Middle Eastern men more than most women on this site, maybe even more so than some of the married ones.

but I would be more apt to believe someone that lives in Iraq than what most Americans are fed about the middle east.

That someone could be lying to you about a lot of things. Besides, this isn't even about Iraq and the Middle East. It's about you and a relationship with an Iraqi man.

We as U.S. citizens must know that the news only tells us what they want us to believe, which has been going on for decades, vietnam is a good example of that. I believe all over the world, not just the middle east, that their can be "nominal" muslims or non-practicing Muslims and that the faith itself is not to the extreme side of conservative that western media would have us believe, BUT I believe there are an extreme few that would gladly give the media those few seconds of video to allow that view to continue. Like any religion or group (shia/sunni) not all muslims (or christians) think alike.

Now you're reaching. Western media and Muslim sects have nothing to do with you and this man.

No ideology is above critique. I think a lot of people on this blog confuse ideology with the individual.

We don't, and this blog has very little to do with Islamic theology. Those who want to make this about race, religion or ethnic origin fail every time because it is just a distraction.

This blog is about dating scammers and liars, which have no bearing on culture, race, gender or religion. You could take your story or most any of the others on here and replace man with woman and Hussein with Susy-Q and Iraq with Russia or South America and it would make no difference.

So, with what I have said so far, do you still see warning signs?

Yes, and even more so now. I can see that you've taken considerable time to respond to me and that you are now talking about global issues and judging Muslims instead of your relationship.

Seen it all before one too many times.

Hardly. just someone like myself trying to make sense of everything when there really isn't any.

The reason you can't make sense is because you don't have enough information and you're not getting what you need from your partner. And to large extent, you think you can find that on here.

I can can assure you the age thing doesn't enter the equation and I was not keeping it from the group,

It does enter into the equation and would even if you dated a younger guy down the street. In nearly every relationship described on this board, the woman is older. How many solid relationships do you know where an international man and a woman 10-20 years his senior is flourishing?

just didn't think it was an issue.

It would even be an issue if you were dating a 32 year-old American male, because he has not lived most of his life as an adult. You have, and the difference here is very stark.

The women he dated before were also older. guess he just likes older women.

Older, single women with kids are sought after on-line and while they are on vacation (holiday). I am a man, and for some men, those characteristics are like a bleeding seal to a shark, especially on the internet.

but I will take your advice as I am always guarded when it comes to younger men wanting to date me. flattered as i may be, I still can't get used to it.

That's because your feminine instincts, to their credit, won't let you. That is why women on here who say "well I'll marry my man and take a chance" with a nervous laugh are never really sure. Others will defend their relationship through clenched teeth insisting that what they have is so great and wonderful.

Even women who are married do this, and make no mistake, marriage is not the finish line. In a lot of cases, all a marriage does is form a legal contract involves the state and other people have to step in and clean up the mess afterwards---just like two college kids who play house, split up and the courts or an arbitrator like Judge Judy decides who gets what, and the courts will concern themselves much less than I will with the relationship drama that is consistently bleated about on this board.

Scammers and liars can take months, even years to reveal their full colours, and one thing a lot of them have in common is they are very patient.

In one case, an Idaho man married a Russian girl. He went out of his way to make her feel welcome: got her contacts in the local community who culturally relate and everything. She repaid by waiting for legal documentation, and once she had a valid US driver's license, she was gone.

I do like defending him because I think what he has to say has been far more worthy than some of the advice I have gotten on this site.

That's because he tells you exactly what you want to hear and your feelings are obviously biased. The advice on this site isn't supposed to be fun or romantically stimulating. It's about the truth.

I wonder what is more fun for you now---defending him or talking to him.

Do you think that he spends a lot or even a little time defending you?

and what has happened to a lot of women and middle eastern men. but I also believe that not everyone is like this.

The people "who are not like this" don't really need the internet to find international love.

Just google sites and plenty come up about wonderful relationships with muslim and non muslims.

I did. Where are these sites? The only one I find is this one a few scattered forums that don't bother to go into the detail or have the experiences on here. I don't see people bragging about relationships of any kind.

In fact, other than this site, I've only seen it happen on myspace between college kids and teenagers.

People who are in such wonderful relationships do not need to defend them or validate them with strangers on-line.

I really wonder, Guest, how much time you are taking to respond to those posts. As much as you say that what your man says is better, you sure seem to spend a lot of time thinking about this site.


Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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Title Commenter Date
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1I Basically Agree Leslie [13 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 10, 2017 21:09240511
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2Fake Profiles [40 words]SusanSep 15, 2017 19:04240511
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6Reported scammer [309 words]LindaSep 27, 2017 13:18240511
7christian/muslim does not matter [145 words]Christian EgyptianOct 3, 2017 11:00240511
6Dear Linda [111 words]Lana(USA)Oct 3, 2017 21:50240511
4Lana,thank you [266 words]LindaOct 7, 2017 20:33240511
2Horrible, lies!!! All of them-BEWARE [94 words]BAOct 8, 2017 04:39240511
5Outing Those Who Act As Scammers [225 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiOct 10, 2017 01:49240511
4NIGERIAN SCAM [45 words]Candy AppleOct 27, 2017 19:11240511
2Fake Soldiers [183 words]LindaOct 29, 2017 19:47240511
5Yes Nigeria scams Linda [85 words]MonicaNov 3, 2017 19:22240511
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2Tineye.com [62 words]SherNov 27, 2017 23:33240511
1Scammers [32 words]SherNov 27, 2017 23:41240511
23Egyptian men are violent [114 words]KathyAug 14, 2017 15:13240472
9Hope you are safe in England now. [107 words]LotusAug 16, 2017 05:24240472
15All MENA man are liars [89 words]LANA (USA)Aug 18, 2017 14:48240472
6Thankyou lotus [120 words]KathyAug 22, 2017 14:02240472
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5Hi lotus [89 words]KathyAug 27, 2017 06:20240472
1Very happy to know you are fine. [9 words]LotusAug 29, 2017 04:32240472
1Correction needed. [32 words]LotusSep 2, 2017 20:54240472
1Correction. [26 words]LotusSep 3, 2017 07:02240472
2Not all of them...... [84 words]LuhxSep 28, 2017 17:31240472
23Time to let it go.... [443 words]Lana(USA)Aug 8, 2017 22:01240423
12Lana usa* [23 words]SiobhanAug 10, 2017 10:43240423
8Beautiful story... Love it [73 words]ChelseaAug 15, 2017 13:20240423
8Siobhan [267 words]Lana(USA)Aug 28, 2017 21:33240423
6Sounds so familiar Lana [155 words]ChelseaAug 30, 2017 04:52240423
5Thank you,Chelsea [348 words]Lana(USA)Aug 31, 2017 12:24240423
3Thank you,Chelsea [348 words]Lana(USA)Aug 31, 2017 18:59240423
6Hey Lana [313 words]ChelseaSep 3, 2017 21:15240423
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2Chelsea [133 words]Lana(USA)Sep 9, 2017 15:39240423
5So right [302 words]LindaOct 3, 2017 10:20240423
Hello Jessica [7 words]Lana(USA)Oct 13, 2017 14:01240423
17Immigration change for USA ...first in 50 years. [196 words]ChelseaAug 8, 2017 20:03240422
4Immigration [73 words]LauraAug 10, 2017 21:29240422
5Friend is in Morocco [271 words]LindaAug 5, 2017 22:35240378
4Very strange and can't really know what's happening. [126 words]NeptuneAug 6, 2017 05:34240378
6Now I am WORRIED [220 words]LindaAug 7, 2017 10:00240378
10Sense of humor [486 words]LindaAug 16, 2017 09:46240378
6We have to wait and watch. [150 words]NeptuneAug 21, 2017 05:28240378
5Please Keep us Updated, Linda! [34 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 12:12240378
6Friend is back in States... [287 words]LindaAug 28, 2017 21:16240378
1Hope she is safe And sound [7 words]NeptuneAug 29, 2017 04:27240378
11a funny thing re: friend been and back from Morocco [350 words]LindaSep 1, 2017 22:36240378
4Don't bother,we are here. [85 words]NeptuneSep 3, 2017 07:11240378
14You will hear from her again [264 words]CherylSep 3, 2017 07:53240378
7You did your best [51 words]LinaSep 4, 2017 07:10240378
12Have sprung a trap... [684 words]LindaSep 13, 2017 13:19240378
10Your suspicions of him are 100% now [81 words]CherylSep 16, 2017 10:08240378
3Now what to do with the 'evidence"?? [242 words]LindaSep 25, 2017 19:19240378
Thank you Cheryl [382 words]LindaNov 7, 2017 09:42240378
9I am in love Egytain man 21 I am 39 but I look really young [238 words]
w/response from Daniel Pipes
GigiJul 19, 2017 12:29240102
8Not possible to know intentions [146 words]NeptuneJul 20, 2017 02:43240102
11Glad Mr. Pipes brought out the fact he is Christian. [256 words]ChelseaJul 20, 2017 08:42240102
8Christian, Muslim, Wiccan, Atheist --Doesn't Matter As Signs Are There [27 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 22, 2017 00:10240102
13No, it is not Legit [93 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 22, 2017 00:12240102
6Be careful.. [155 words]KeithJul 23, 2017 04:14240102
5Marriage [406 words]jJul 23, 2017 21:25240102
8Sorry...no [43 words]ChelseaJul 25, 2017 00:38240102
3Wish you well [27 words]ChelseaJul 25, 2017 00:45240102
11That is correct [97 words]Candy AppleJul 25, 2017 10:32240102
2Straight talk Luigi [145 words]GigiJul 25, 2017 10:36240102
Neptune [12 words]GigiJul 25, 2017 17:02240102
1Chelsea [15 words]GigiJul 25, 2017 17:08240102
Thank you Kieth [38 words]GigiJul 25, 2017 17:17240102
18To Jenny [384 words]AmyJul 25, 2017 20:06240102
12Escape [455 words]LinaJul 30, 2017 12:59240102
2Love happens when it happens [228 words]GigiJul 31, 2017 02:06240102
You are most welcome and good luck [15 words]NeptuneJul 31, 2017 04:07240102
2Oh this is so sad [24 words]ChelseaJul 31, 2017 09:08240102
3Lina [43 words]GigiJul 31, 2017 13:21240102
Is there a girl who speaks Arabic fluently [37 words]JennyJul 31, 2017 23:49240102
31My own experience in Egypt! [488 words]StarAug 1, 2017 21:06240102
1Star [9 words]GigiAug 2, 2017 00:57240102
5Dear Star [67 words]ChelseaAug 2, 2017 10:34240102
9good luck [229 words]leighAug 2, 2017 12:50240102
4Spot on,Dear Star [110 words]Lana(USA)Aug 2, 2017 17:34240102
5Jenny,do not waste your time,investigating [88 words]Lana(USA)Aug 2, 2017 23:09240102
3Just be very careful [111 words]LotusAug 3, 2017 11:03240102
6love [210 words]leighAug 4, 2017 08:19240102
8Age [121 words]LinaAug 5, 2017 07:00240102
8Gigi [194 words]LinaAug 5, 2017 07:15240102
6Amy [97 words]SiobhanAug 5, 2017 10:51240102
6Star* [65 words]SiobhanAug 5, 2017 11:09240102
15Double lives [227 words]LinaAug 5, 2017 21:13240102
1Leigh [145 words]GigiAug 6, 2017 01:08240102
4Spot on,Lina [419 words]NeptuneAug 6, 2017 06:25240102
19Do Not Take ANYTHING For Granted [244 words]LisaAug 6, 2017 22:19240102
13Beautiful?? [65 words]ChelseaAug 8, 2017 19:42240102
2Chelsea [103 words]GigiAug 10, 2017 02:12240102
5Best luck and be safe. [148 words]NeptuneAug 10, 2017 08:47240102
7I hope you are ok [92 words]JessicaAug 16, 2017 01:51240102
11Coptic Egyptians just as bad [203 words]BronzeAug 16, 2017 04:48240102
4To Chelsea [801 words]Lana(USA)Aug 16, 2017 08:25240102
11What??? [41 words]Candy appleAug 20, 2017 18:06240102
9Yes you're right [256 words]LinaAug 21, 2017 20:07240102
4Using Other Relationships to Validate your Own [19 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 11:50240102
5Egyptian Women & Hypocrisy [39 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 11:53240102
6Star; Egyptian Man & Foreign Woman [25 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 11:59240102
9Great Comment as Always, Lina [145 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 12:05240102
5If you really have to test him [38 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 22, 2017 12:08240102
7Thank you Lana [114 words]ChelseaAug 22, 2017 13:35240102
3Thanks Luigi [54 words]LinaAug 23, 2017 18:35240102
10he is probably lying to you [75 words]trishAug 25, 2017 13:56240102
2Trish [8 words]GigiAug 28, 2017 12:09240102
:-) [6 words]SabSep 20, 2017 08:39240102
Oh, bless...! [241 words]SabSep 20, 2017 09:10240102
5Another one Egypt Marsa Alam [360 words]ItranSep 30, 2017 19:41240102
1To Gigi [138 words]Jordana Ghannam AhmedNov 5, 2017 23:50240102
3Crushed hearted [554 words]MyluJul 18, 2017 20:09240095
8Understandable and sad situation but can be resolved. [317 words]NeptuneJul 20, 2017 02:31240095
8I believe you already know what to do. [235 words]ChelseaJul 20, 2017 10:53240095
6Advice to Mylu on Current Situation [83 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 22, 2017 00:24240095
6Is there God in your relationship [150 words]GigiJul 24, 2017 01:11240095
5To Chelsea [153 words]MyluJul 25, 2017 10:11240095
3Crushed hearted [76 words]MyluJul 25, 2017 11:08240095
3To Gigi [131 words]MyluJul 25, 2017 11:59240095
4To Neptune [149 words]MyluJul 25, 2017 12:17240095
7Oh dear... [413 words]SabJul 26, 2017 07:44240095
Happy to note your resolve. [14 words]NeptuneJul 31, 2017 04:05240095
3Glad you are not responsible [48 words]ChelseaJul 31, 2017 09:17240095
1If he was from the same place [86 words]Kelly VioletteAug 1, 2017 15:46240095

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