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Iraqi man - comment from Straight talk LuigiReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Guest (United States), Dec 16, 2012 at 00:24 Good Evening Luigi; Thank you for you comments. Are you a man or a woman? Just curious. I would like for you and all the other readers to know that I was not trying to hide any ages. I would like to know however what makes you think I am much older? You mentioned it was obvious from the "Get Go". I wish there was a way to upload a photo of us both so you could see for yourself. I am older, but it has never mattered to him. I keep reading the posts here and I am beginning to think for every bad story, there is also a site with very good stories. I am hoping to fall into the good story category. It is a real shame that there are so many horrible stories on this site but being older I am a little more cautious than most. I have since spoke to my Iraqi man, whose name is Hussein, about a lot of the conversation and posts. It does sadden him and he is adamant that the percentage of bad people gives all middle eastern men a bad name. He did tell me something new, his mom is Shia and she married a Sunni. Hussein also shared with me that his cousin, who was married last April, was Sunni and married a Shia. He also has many friends both Shia and Sunni. Hussein is not a very religious man, and it was only a few years ago that he learned the difference between Shia and Sunni. he still doesn't understand where the opinions come from and said that life is Iraq is like most places..You have the very religious and the not so religious and all try to live in peace and keep harmony. There was a comment I received that men in Iraq would not have girl friends because men are not allowed to date. Quite the contrary, and he even showed me video from Iraq of mostly college girls and guys dating. I'm really not sure where a lot of the people on this site get their information from, but I would be more apt to believe someone that lives in Iraq than what most Americans are fed about the middle east. We as U.S. citizens must know that the news only tells us what they want us to believe, which has been going on for decades, vietnam is a good example of that. I believe all over the world, not just the middle east, that their can be "nominal" muslims or non-practicing Muslims and that the faith itself is not to the extreme side of conservative that western media would have us believe, BUT I believe there are an extreme few that would gladly give the media those few seconds of video to allow that view to continue. Like any religion or group (shia/sunni) not all muslims (or christians) think alike. Even if there is no such thing as moderate Islam it does not mean that there are no "moderate" muslims. Islam is an ideology not an individual and as an ideology, Islam is not necessarily entitled to equal respect and acceptance because ideas do not carry equal moral weight. Islam is not simply a belief about God. Islam is a word that means submission. Islam is not defined by what any Muslim wants it to be, but by what it is...No ideology is above critique. I think a lot of people on this blog confuse ideology with the individual. I don't think any conclusions should be drawn about Islam based on Muslims that we know. By the same token I don't think conclusions should be drawn about the Muslims we know based on the true nature of Islam. Not all Muslims think alike. After talking with Hussein at length about many subjects on this blog, he said the following which makes more sense than anything I have heard: Muslims as individuals can choose how much of their religion they practice, for example, many muslims to not advocate amputating limbs over theft, even though this is plainly mandated in the Quran. Most simply choose to disregard what is inconvenient to their moral preconceptions. More than likely, Muslims have the same interest in life very similar to ours and they have the same ambitions for their children. Prejudging an individual by their group identity (or presumed group identity, is not only unethical, it is blatantly irrational since group identity reveals absolutely nothing about a person. Every individual should be judged only on the basis of their own words and deeds. Hussein has met many people from all different faiths, even a few atheists. he said he would never judge them and what they believe is between them and God. but he does value their friendship. He also has friends (Muslims) that eat port, drink, have sex outside of marriage (and he said many do but just don't speak about it, just like here). it is there choice and again their faith is between them and God. Hussein does not understand why people take any religion so literal. he said that they might as well all just die if they can't have friends, date, sex, drink and anything else that is done all over the world. he agrees the world is bad, but really struggles with those very bad that give all of them a bad name. So, with what I have said so far, do you still see warning signs? Hardly. just someone like myself trying to make sense of everything when there really isn't any. Luigi, you seem to have issues with age, by your comments below: 1) You are much older than he is with a child and you had not disclosed the age difference. Were you trying to hide that from us, because it was pretty obvious to me from the get-go that you were older than he was. That's very common on here and liars and scammers intentionally target older, divorced, single women with kids. From a purely marketing standpoint, they are more open to help and are seen as more vulnerable. 2) I am just a year or so younger than your man. Dating and marrying women in their mid 50s in other countries for "true love" just isn't on our radar screen. I used to have an Iraqi room-mate and several friends in college from the Middle East. Trust me, ladies, they weren't asking me where all the 45+ plus women were hanging out at. A big overall concern on here, Guest, is that most women are 35 and older. I'd say mostly in their late 40s to early 60s. Both they and yourself did not grow up using the internet. I did. I know what kind of people you'll find on there. It's not even close to the bad barflys you'll find uptown, and it's hard at all to get in WAY over your head with people you talk to or meet on there and you really don't have to dig all that deep either. Simply put, Guest, women in your situation WANT to be found by scammers and liars. I still would like to know how you guessed I might be older, I can can assure you the age thing doesn't enter the equation and I was not keeping it from the group, just didn't think it was an issue. The women he dated before were also older. guess he just likes older women. but I will take your advice as I am always guarded when it comes to younger men wanting to date me. flattered as i may be, I still can't get used to it. Look forward to your comments again. I do like defending him because I think what he has to say has been far more worthy than some of the advice I have gotten on this site.and what has happened to a lot of women and middle eastern men. but I also believe that not everyone is like this. Just google sites and plenty come up about wonderful relationships with muslim and non muslims. I am glad I found this site, it has been a real eye opener. some good and some bad. Look forward to hearing from you. p.s. is there a way to upload a photo?? Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (21923) on this item
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