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Iraqi Man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Iraqi Man and webcam dating

Submitted by Guest (United States), Dec 9, 2012 at 19:35

Thanks for your comments. If I said he has only dated one woman, I was mistaken. he has dated a few but the longest relationship he had was with a woman with 3 children and it lasted 4 months. She ended up going with another guy and he left her.My Iraqi man is a man of very high morals, he could not take the fact that he gave his love to someone and that someone betrayed him by going out with another man.

Have you heard the other side of the story?

I know the same young lady contacted him after we had met and Hussein would have nothing to do with her. She threatened him on the phone saying she would send someone to "beat" him up if he would not see her again. Hussein just hung the phone up on her. Even if she had an other side of the story, the fact that she threatened him says she is not all there.

I don't know all the circumstances but he comes from a very good family. he has been very honest with me and told me that it was very hard for him to connect with another woman. He has certain ideals that he is looking for and he told me it was harder than I thought.

I find these "ideals" to be interesting because finding a nice Iraqi woman should not be terribly hard given the current situation over there. There's a lot of single Iraqi women looking for stability in what in many ways was and I suppose still is a tense country under the stress of war.

He has dated but said there was not any instant connection, which is what he is looking for.

For whatever reason, he seems to be opting for what he thinks is an easier solution and wants someone specifically international.

The question is why.

He is a very sexual man and perhaps the women in Iraq are not to his liking because most seem frigid...

By frigid you mean socially conservative. That's typical in Muslim countries. In your early post, you mention he is possessive sometimes. I have great concerns over that in combination with this sexual attitude of his that you allude to.

I think if you stay with this man he will restrict your privileges and if you do so in in Middle Eastern country, he will have an easier time doing that.

He has always said that he does not want to control a woman. He wants a woman to love him as much as he loves her. His family does not dress in the usual dress with scarf covering their faces. I've seen his sisters and mother online and they dress in western clothing. Sometimes the mother will wear a scarf when she goes to pray which I understand is out of respect.

I don't know, I'm only guessing. I cannot find any flaws with him.

You said earlier he gets possessive and jealous. He also seems to be rushing you towards marriage.

Two warning signs right there.

Not rushing toward marriage...he is willing to wait for as long as it takes to be with me. we have discussed marriage but he has never rushed.

He is not looking for a visa as he has fears about leaving his country and making it in the U.S. because he is a muslim man.

That is inconsistent. If he has fears about leaving his country, why are you talking about moving to Lebanon?

In Lebanon, the majority are muslim and arabic speaking population, but also many speak english. he feels comfortable being there because he knows the language and there are many arabics there like himself. I feel comfortable there as well as many speak english, and all are very humble gracious people. He fears the U.S. because of 911 and the overall attitude that many Americans have toward the middle east. That is all I meant.

he has very close family ties and his father died when he was a young boy. He has 2 sisters that are married with children and is very close to his mom. I have met them all and they have all accepted me.

That's not unusual. I've met women from the internet whose family liked me too.

Trouble is, the girl really didn't or wasn't who I thought she was.

You're dating the person, not the family.

For him to give up his single life because he believes I am the one is in and of itself very remarkable.

Now why would that be remarkable? People in committed relationships are supposed to give up their single life. It's expected, otherwise it's called cheating and if you're a woman, a whole lot of vocabulary names to go along with it.

What I meant is I think it is noble of him to give up his single life to someone he met online. He could still date and go out but chooses not to because he believes he has found the one. I know when you meet someone you give up your single life, but the circumstances are very different in that he is in iraq and I am in the U.S. Most relationships you can see and touch each other any time you want. We have to plan trips to see one another. I just don't think most men would do that.

Yes, I do take him at his word. I know when he sleeps, when he is out, when he is visiting family, when he watches TV, etc. He has never asked me for the same...just wants me to keep him until we can be together.

How can you know that if you're in a different country in a different time zone?

this man has changed his whole schedule for me. We are in constant contact with each other and always know what the other is doing. yes, the time change is 7 hours difference, but he sleeps during his day so he can see me at night...and we text or call throughout the day every day (yes, my phone bill is a little scary, but he has even found applications that we can use that has cut my cost tremendously.

iDK maybe here in the US we are way too cynical and can't see the forest for the trees.

You're right; you don't know about "here in the US" if you think that it's just a matter of seeing the forest in the trees and it tells me that you are very naive about what a cesspool on-line and international dating can be.

I have never dated online, the whole scenario of how we met was actually through a friend of mine on facebook. it wasn't like we were both sitting in some chat room waiting to be picked up. he did mention that many do this as a pass time in cafes because the city is so distressed and the construction will take time. The electricity is intermittent and what fun was had before the war is replaced with internet because people feel safer.

Americans are targeted for this stuff by people all over the world, and not just for VISAs either. It's a type of thing were people have been killed or they even get stuck in another country and can't get out so easily.

Let me ask: Do you really in your heart of hearts believe that you've found the good one in the barrel? Because most of you're telling me he's saying to you can be hear in most American bars on a Friday night.

If you have read these posts, you'll see that is what a lot of women think and say.

Your man has neither said nor done anything that is special, unique or different.

The "Oh, I love you and I want to give up my life only to be with you" or even meeting a few times:

Been there, seen it, done it.

Maybe I am being naive but for now I can find no fault in this man.

Yes, you are being naive. Even if you didn't have any warning signs, it does not validate your relationship by any means.

I am open to all comments and hope to comment on each one. I have read all the comments and have a reply for each...nothing has been said yet to sway my opinion of him.

That's the problem. In a lot of cases, people just go ahead and get married even though they have doubts. The truth often doesn't come out until after marriage.

We have seen each other in real life and he is the most loving person I've ever met.

You've met 3 times. Don't tell me that you'd be saying the same thing about an American guy who lives down the street.

He loves me for me and doesn't find flaws.

I don't think this is love, Guest. It's just internet infatuation being with someone different who knows how to flatter and communicate with women.

We talk, communicate, everything that 2 normal people in love would do.

Normal people who are in love don't need to justify their relationship on the internet.

Normal people who are in love don't put stock in on-line, international dating either.

Normal relationships have flaws. You say that you find none with him and he finds none with you.

I don't see him after my worth or a visa or a easy ticket out of Iraq, quite the opposite. he is a very proud man and very family oriented.

I don't think you understand----this doesn't have to be a VISA scam to not work out. You could very well end up living in a flat in the Middle East dressed up in hot weather (as is their custom) and not allowed to leave the house for the simple basis that he's jealous.

..nothing has been said yet to sway my opinion of him.

You've got it backwards if you think we need to convince you about this. You haven't even convinced yourself, Guest, and deep down, you never will---and you shouldn't be expected too.

You are right...I'm still not convinced...and I am keeping an open mind.

Everything you've said and everything he's said has been dialogued countless times on here.

Either you will ignore our advice, take a risk that will most likely turn your life upside down or into something you didn't expect, or you will come back to reality and realize that you can do better than international, on-line dating.

Thats why I'm here...I will not ignore any advice and I'm taking this very seriously.

It's really no skin off my back other than maybe taxpayer money if you do this and it turns out to be the worst mistake of your life.

Thank you for taking the time to give me your honest comments. I look forward to more and I plan on keeping you updated.

thanks,


Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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Title Commenter Date
1my own picture [1211 words]FiYaSep 24, 2016 17:46232987
10Camming/Physical Contact Before Marriage [193 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:54232857
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4So sorry Tei [87 words]New LifeSep 22, 2016 23:23232845
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7To Celina [202 words]HopeSep 17, 2016 02:50232754
8Dear Celina [251 words]SiobhanSep 17, 2016 06:05232754
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12leave him and love yourself [343 words]ObserverSep 17, 2016 10:56232754
11Hi Celina [160 words]New LifeSep 17, 2016 10:57232754
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5Stop Right There. [83 words]TonToonSep 18, 2016 10:47232754
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12Thank you to everyone [274 words]CelinaSep 19, 2016 03:11232754
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7Celina [130 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:46232754
4PREACH JORDANA! [75 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:49232754
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7Man asking for money [45 words]JaySep 19, 2016 23:44232754
2Thanks for all the replies [43 words]CelinaSep 20, 2016 06:22232754
3Sweetie he is the nightmare [70 words]CynthiaSep 20, 2016 12:32232754
4Reply to Veronica [360 words]jessieSep 20, 2016 19:18232754
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1Well said Luhx [33 words]JessieSep 22, 2016 14:32232754
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7Grain of Salt [90 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 17, 2016 12:45232589
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2some people are not religious [344 words]jessie (jessica)Sep 18, 2016 02:40232589
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7To Luhx on Update [186 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 18, 2016 21:43232589
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1On Living in Egypt [121 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:26232589
3Straight Talk Luigi [353 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:33232589
3STL - [182 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:39232589
3Jessie [113 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:58232589
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4YOU SAID IT RIGHT LUHX [53 words]JessieSep 21, 2016 03:29232589
3Yes we will keep in touch LUhx [143 words]jessieSep 21, 2016 03:40232589
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2Thanks Cynthia [45 words]New LifeSep 17, 2016 11:04232541
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190 Day Fiance [181 words]LeMewSep 19, 2016 16:43232060
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5Im with Jenny, Mandy and the rest of the women [179 words]JessieAug 29, 2016 22:13231946
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12Jessie ... [174 words]JoAug 30, 2016 17:31231946
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6I agree Luigi [91 words]UnbelievableSep 3, 2016 15:31231946
5replied to striaght talk luigi and for coconut [260 words]JessieSep 4, 2016 02:33231946
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7Bumper Sticker Excuses [142 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 5, 2016 01:16231946
13Do you see how empty and hollow this water dipper is? [79 words]LisaSep 5, 2016 05:17231946
8for Cynthia [274 words]JessieSep 5, 2016 21:47231946
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2You said it best Luigi [23 words]UnbelievableSep 9, 2016 02:48231946
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11Yep [341 words]ShömiSep 9, 2016 18:26231946
13Ha Ha Lisa [69 words]AliSep 10, 2016 12:11231946
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9i dont have to disclosed anything Lisa [47 words]jessieSep 10, 2016 13:59231946
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6well said coconut [104 words]candy appleSep 11, 2016 12:57231946
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3Muslim can only marry Christian and Jewish women [47 words]KikaSep 14, 2016 11:04231946
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4Regarding dowry [187 words]jessieSep 15, 2016 17:13231946
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10Re: Rachael [69 words]ObserverAug 30, 2016 22:02231932
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4For RAchel [379 words]JessieSep 1, 2016 18:21231932
9fool for thinking you are different [271 words]coconutSep 2, 2016 09:34231932
2Reply to Rachel [37 words]CynthiaSep 3, 2016 15:20231932
22Replied to coconut [124 words]JessieSep 5, 2016 18:39231932
6Moroccan "Romeo" [31 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 7, 2016 04:15231932
7he can talk to anyone he want reply to luigi [44 words]jessieSep 9, 2016 16:48231932
2I'm sorry [88 words]lostSep 13, 2016 12:49231932
3For lost [38 words]RachaelSep 14, 2016 10:20231932
2Look What I Found [43 words]SiobhanSep 14, 2016 16:57231932
2Thanks Siobhan [17 words]CynthiaSep 15, 2016 01:25231932
15Don't give feed back [292 words]UnbelievableAug 28, 2016 10:53231879
5replied to Unbelievable.. dont give feed back!! [269 words]JessieAug 30, 2016 15:33231879
4replied to Unbelievable [83 words]JessieAug 30, 2016 18:07231879
12You are totally off track [40 words]UnbelievableSep 1, 2016 09:32231879
6Thanks for Sharing, Unbelievable: Reasons for Responses [132 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 7, 2016 04:25231879
4Reply to Unbelievable dont give feedback [245 words]JessieSep 8, 2016 22:53231879
8I agree Luigi but.... [100 words]UnbelievableSep 9, 2016 03:01231879
7Jessie you don't like others to talk down to you but this is exactly what you do to others [294 words]UnbelievableSep 10, 2016 07:13231879
15I want to clarify my responses [444 words]CynthiaAug 26, 2016 11:41231786
5yes [59 words]moAug 29, 2016 05:49231786
3Replied to Cynthia asked me why i come to this forum [525 words]JessieAug 29, 2016 17:46231786
2Moe [4 words]CynthiaAug 30, 2016 18:21231786
5replied to MO [58 words]jessieAug 31, 2016 11:29231786
11I don't like drama [87 words]UnbelievableSep 1, 2016 10:16231786
6Unbelievable plese share! [49 words]saraSep 2, 2016 00:31231786
1unbelievable I agree with you. [39 words]KikaSep 2, 2016 11:47231786
3Dear Unbelievable [136 words]SiobhanSep 3, 2016 01:45231786
Sorry I misspelled your name Mo [11 words]CynthiaSep 3, 2016 03:41231786
3I will Sara [33 words]UnbelievableSep 3, 2016 15:48231786
4for drama queen unbelivable [131 words]JessieSep 4, 2016 03:55231786
10I think Siobhan is right it's a Muslim guy [103 words]CynthiaSep 4, 2016 06:50231786
11Reply to Siobhan [106 words]CynthiaSep 4, 2016 09:34231786
2You made me laugh Kika [11 words]UnbelievableSep 4, 2016 13:02231786
5Dear Siobhan [57 words]UnbelievableSep 4, 2016 13:19231786
2drama queen [109 words]JessieSep 4, 2016 23:07231786
3for cynthia [241 words]jessieSep 4, 2016 23:46231786
6A lot of people speak different languages [46 words]CynthiaSep 5, 2016 02:25231786
5I would not be surprised [114 words]UnbelievableSep 5, 2016 11:07231786
6logic sense [102 words]jessieSep 5, 2016 23:25231786
5Get Over It [42 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 7, 2016 04:19231786
6I still think not all are scammers [28 words]JessieSep 7, 2016 17:55231786
5Indian name? [15 words]Jordana Ghannam-AhmedSep 7, 2016 19:57231786
6Yes, Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed [25 words]SiobhanSep 9, 2016 03:21231786
3reply to get over it [9 words]jessieSep 9, 2016 15:55231786
2Yes it's Irish [10 words]UnbelievableSep 10, 2016 06:52231786
7Dear Cynthia [120 words]SiobhanSep 10, 2016 17:50231786
3Thank you Siobhan [51 words]CynthiaSep 11, 2016 18:39231786
5My Turkish Romeo [775 words]NatalieAug 23, 2016 18:08231659
6replied to turkist romeo [169 words]JessieAug 24, 2016 09:48231659
5Turks/arabs and Egypt circumcision [600 words]observerAug 24, 2016 17:47231659
3Love yourself more and be careful [340 words]LanaAug 24, 2016 19:27231659
9To Jessie [165 words]HopeAug 26, 2016 14:09231659
3My Moroccan Romeo (part 2) by Jessie [700 words]JessieAug 27, 2016 13:24231659
2Response re:circumcision [897 words]Jordana Ghannam-AhmedAug 27, 2016 23:01231659
3It's not for me to give a good answer Natalie [124 words]MLIDAug 28, 2016 15:45231659
4replied to Hope [234 words]JessieAug 28, 2016 22:11231659
9Thank you Jordana [684 words]DaryaAug 29, 2016 13:28231659
5I'm very sorry about your pain Darya [34 words]CynthiaAug 30, 2016 18:30231659
1Since you're going to be living there for a while [99 words]CynthiaAug 30, 2016 18:42231659
1Thanks Cynthia [16 words]DaryaSep 2, 2016 01:08231659
2Just my opinion [156 words]SoonToBeExpatAug 23, 2016 15:35231649
6Did my Mohamed tell on himself? [236 words]Hurting HeartAug 20, 2016 21:05231542
2Replied to did mohamed tell on himself [128 words]jessie (canada)Aug 23, 2016 09:50231542
7another scammer [144 words]observerAug 23, 2016 14:05231542
2Replied to Does my mohamed told on himself [105 words]JessieAug 23, 2016 23:15231542
2To Jessie [14 words]SoonToBeExpatAug 24, 2016 12:16231542
1Mohamed done told on himself [21 words]Jordana Ghannam-AhmedAug 27, 2016 23:05231542
6Red Flags and Uncertainty [60 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 28, 2016 17:26231542
1Run, fast & far [33 words]MoAug 29, 2016 05:18231542
6A Moroccan woman (my wife) took my son (an Indian citizen) by fraud and is not ready to return [237 words]SunnyAug 20, 2016 13:52231535
2welcome to morocco [94 words]observerAug 23, 2016 14:11231535
5Your moroccan wife left with your child and does not want to return [218 words]Elisabeth DakakAug 23, 2016 16:54231535
1response to A Moroccan woman (my wife) took my son [142 words]JessieAug 24, 2016 13:53231535
4I have spent time trying to help you find answers [90 words]CynthiaAug 24, 2016 15:23231535
4Advice [43 words]PreciousAug 25, 2016 17:07231535
1for Sunny in India [98 words]jessieAug 26, 2016 09:42231535
1I can't imagine what you are going through [81 words]MLIDAug 28, 2016 15:51231535
1Morocco [44 words]moAug 29, 2016 05:53231535
1Read [36 words]moAug 29, 2016 05:57231535
one more [22 words]moAug 29, 2016 05:59231535
1Moroccan woman [69 words]LinaAug 30, 2016 05:03231535
5My Moroccan romeo [1727 words]jessie (Canada)Aug 16, 2016 01:58231409
31You're being scammed Jessie [294 words]CynthiaAug 18, 2016 07:03231409
16A piece of advice from someone who cares [237 words]LynZeeAug 18, 2016 18:08231409
22Don't risk it Jessie! [1008 words]BeccaAug 18, 2016 22:34231409
17I wouldn't bother [458 words]overunderAug 19, 2016 02:32231409

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