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Iraqi Man

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Iraqi Man and webcam dating

Submitted by Guest (United States), Dec 9, 2012 at 19:35

Thanks for your comments. If I said he has only dated one woman, I was mistaken. he has dated a few but the longest relationship he had was with a woman with 3 children and it lasted 4 months. She ended up going with another guy and he left her.My Iraqi man is a man of very high morals, he could not take the fact that he gave his love to someone and that someone betrayed him by going out with another man.

Have you heard the other side of the story?

I know the same young lady contacted him after we had met and Hussein would have nothing to do with her. She threatened him on the phone saying she would send someone to "beat" him up if he would not see her again. Hussein just hung the phone up on her. Even if she had an other side of the story, the fact that she threatened him says she is not all there.

I don't know all the circumstances but he comes from a very good family. he has been very honest with me and told me that it was very hard for him to connect with another woman. He has certain ideals that he is looking for and he told me it was harder than I thought.

I find these "ideals" to be interesting because finding a nice Iraqi woman should not be terribly hard given the current situation over there. There's a lot of single Iraqi women looking for stability in what in many ways was and I suppose still is a tense country under the stress of war.

He has dated but said there was not any instant connection, which is what he is looking for.

For whatever reason, he seems to be opting for what he thinks is an easier solution and wants someone specifically international.

The question is why.

He is a very sexual man and perhaps the women in Iraq are not to his liking because most seem frigid...

By frigid you mean socially conservative. That's typical in Muslim countries. In your early post, you mention he is possessive sometimes. I have great concerns over that in combination with this sexual attitude of his that you allude to.

I think if you stay with this man he will restrict your privileges and if you do so in in Middle Eastern country, he will have an easier time doing that.

He has always said that he does not want to control a woman. He wants a woman to love him as much as he loves her. His family does not dress in the usual dress with scarf covering their faces. I've seen his sisters and mother online and they dress in western clothing. Sometimes the mother will wear a scarf when she goes to pray which I understand is out of respect.

I don't know, I'm only guessing. I cannot find any flaws with him.

You said earlier he gets possessive and jealous. He also seems to be rushing you towards marriage.

Two warning signs right there.

Not rushing toward marriage...he is willing to wait for as long as it takes to be with me. we have discussed marriage but he has never rushed.

He is not looking for a visa as he has fears about leaving his country and making it in the U.S. because he is a muslim man.

That is inconsistent. If he has fears about leaving his country, why are you talking about moving to Lebanon?

In Lebanon, the majority are muslim and arabic speaking population, but also many speak english. he feels comfortable being there because he knows the language and there are many arabics there like himself. I feel comfortable there as well as many speak english, and all are very humble gracious people. He fears the U.S. because of 911 and the overall attitude that many Americans have toward the middle east. That is all I meant.

he has very close family ties and his father died when he was a young boy. He has 2 sisters that are married with children and is very close to his mom. I have met them all and they have all accepted me.

That's not unusual. I've met women from the internet whose family liked me too.

Trouble is, the girl really didn't or wasn't who I thought she was.

You're dating the person, not the family.

For him to give up his single life because he believes I am the one is in and of itself very remarkable.

Now why would that be remarkable? People in committed relationships are supposed to give up their single life. It's expected, otherwise it's called cheating and if you're a woman, a whole lot of vocabulary names to go along with it.

What I meant is I think it is noble of him to give up his single life to someone he met online. He could still date and go out but chooses not to because he believes he has found the one. I know when you meet someone you give up your single life, but the circumstances are very different in that he is in iraq and I am in the U.S. Most relationships you can see and touch each other any time you want. We have to plan trips to see one another. I just don't think most men would do that.

Yes, I do take him at his word. I know when he sleeps, when he is out, when he is visiting family, when he watches TV, etc. He has never asked me for the same...just wants me to keep him until we can be together.

How can you know that if you're in a different country in a different time zone?

this man has changed his whole schedule for me. We are in constant contact with each other and always know what the other is doing. yes, the time change is 7 hours difference, but he sleeps during his day so he can see me at night...and we text or call throughout the day every day (yes, my phone bill is a little scary, but he has even found applications that we can use that has cut my cost tremendously.

iDK maybe here in the US we are way too cynical and can't see the forest for the trees.

You're right; you don't know about "here in the US" if you think that it's just a matter of seeing the forest in the trees and it tells me that you are very naive about what a cesspool on-line and international dating can be.

I have never dated online, the whole scenario of how we met was actually through a friend of mine on facebook. it wasn't like we were both sitting in some chat room waiting to be picked up. he did mention that many do this as a pass time in cafes because the city is so distressed and the construction will take time. The electricity is intermittent and what fun was had before the war is replaced with internet because people feel safer.

Americans are targeted for this stuff by people all over the world, and not just for VISAs either. It's a type of thing were people have been killed or they even get stuck in another country and can't get out so easily.

Let me ask: Do you really in your heart of hearts believe that you've found the good one in the barrel? Because most of you're telling me he's saying to you can be hear in most American bars on a Friday night.

If you have read these posts, you'll see that is what a lot of women think and say.

Your man has neither said nor done anything that is special, unique or different.

The "Oh, I love you and I want to give up my life only to be with you" or even meeting a few times:

Been there, seen it, done it.

Maybe I am being naive but for now I can find no fault in this man.

Yes, you are being naive. Even if you didn't have any warning signs, it does not validate your relationship by any means.

I am open to all comments and hope to comment on each one. I have read all the comments and have a reply for each...nothing has been said yet to sway my opinion of him.

That's the problem. In a lot of cases, people just go ahead and get married even though they have doubts. The truth often doesn't come out until after marriage.

We have seen each other in real life and he is the most loving person I've ever met.

You've met 3 times. Don't tell me that you'd be saying the same thing about an American guy who lives down the street.

He loves me for me and doesn't find flaws.

I don't think this is love, Guest. It's just internet infatuation being with someone different who knows how to flatter and communicate with women.

We talk, communicate, everything that 2 normal people in love would do.

Normal people who are in love don't need to justify their relationship on the internet.

Normal people who are in love don't put stock in on-line, international dating either.

Normal relationships have flaws. You say that you find none with him and he finds none with you.

I don't see him after my worth or a visa or a easy ticket out of Iraq, quite the opposite. he is a very proud man and very family oriented.

I don't think you understand----this doesn't have to be a VISA scam to not work out. You could very well end up living in a flat in the Middle East dressed up in hot weather (as is their custom) and not allowed to leave the house for the simple basis that he's jealous.

..nothing has been said yet to sway my opinion of him.

You've got it backwards if you think we need to convince you about this. You haven't even convinced yourself, Guest, and deep down, you never will---and you shouldn't be expected too.

You are right...I'm still not convinced...and I am keeping an open mind.

Everything you've said and everything he's said has been dialogued countless times on here.

Either you will ignore our advice, take a risk that will most likely turn your life upside down or into something you didn't expect, or you will come back to reality and realize that you can do better than international, on-line dating.

Thats why I'm here...I will not ignore any advice and I'm taking this very seriously.

It's really no skin off my back other than maybe taxpayer money if you do this and it turns out to be the worst mistake of your life.

Thank you for taking the time to give me your honest comments. I look forward to more and I plan on keeping you updated.

thanks,


Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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Title Commenter Date
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10Egyptian men= mentally abusive FACT [276 words]CleopatraAug 7, 2014 14:41216966
3Cleopatra [156 words]layla ahmedAug 13, 2014 16:43216966
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1Valerie [4 words]ReaAug 19, 2014 22:16216966
5Reply to Valerie [28 words]IsisAug 21, 2014 20:41216966
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1It may not end there [14 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 24, 2014 20:50216892
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6To confusedmind [225 words]MariaAug 6, 2014 12:48216509
9Dear ConfusedMind [2050 words]Ana Amreeka (I'm AmericanAug 6, 2014 22:21216509
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1To confusedmind [99 words]MariaAug 7, 2014 07:16216509
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to Ana Amreeka [398 words]ConfusedMIndAug 9, 2014 16:43216509
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2god bless you Ana [102 words]savedAug 11, 2014 13:37216509
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3Awesome advice Ana [193 words]TiyeAug 19, 2014 20:39216509
3To Confused Mind, from Amreeka [951 words]Ana AmreekaAug 23, 2014 19:06216509
1Confused Mind: On Going to Back to Him [883 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 23, 2014 23:40216509
3Tiye, Don't Go [335 words]Ana AmreekaAug 24, 2014 12:20216509
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6so very true [74 words]SueJul 20, 2014 20:27216010
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2To RLT [101 words]MarieJul 29, 2014 15:07215877
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12To Alisa - [138 words]RLTJul 10, 2014 21:36215843
5Alisha [349 words]StandFreeJul 11, 2014 21:57215843
6It's not you it's him [462 words]Dreams DestroyedJul 12, 2014 06:56215843
7...? was he.... [802 words]TracyJul 13, 2014 07:15215843
10To - Dreams Destroyed [425 words]RLTJul 13, 2014 18:02215843
4To RLT from Dreams Destroyed - thanks! [308 words]Dreams DestroyedJul 14, 2014 05:48215843
1Thanks so much Tracy [332 words]Dreams DestroyedJul 14, 2014 06:51215843
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1Thank you Tracy.......spot on [223 words]Dreams DestroyedJul 15, 2014 07:19215843
2reply to Tracy [101 words]recoveryJul 15, 2014 14:07215843
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3Kriss: You Have Been SCAMMED Big Time!!! Arab Man, American Woman, Internet, Money [540 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 22:59215691
5To Kriss [69 words]LisaJul 3, 2014 18:52215691
8Respecting yourself, scammers etc. [538 words]LinaJul 4, 2014 05:18215691
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1kriss! [65 words]BetsyJul 7, 2014 00:46215691
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To Uncertain [32 words]YolandaJul 5, 2014 16:55215681
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2Somalian with European [107 words]Jae TJul 1, 2014 00:33215641
2don't worry [144 words]AsiyaJul 1, 2014 03:06215641
3Familial Acceptance & Flings [251 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 23:16215641
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2He's going to choose his culture and religion over you, Nicky [279 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 12, 2014 22:25215641
7Raha Vahdati [166 words]SophiaJun 25, 2014 07:15215595
2Another Scam [10 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 30, 2014 12:21215595
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1Sophia: You are Being Played for a Fool [86 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 23:38215595
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5Money is a Moot Point Here [30 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 6, 2014 22:35215595
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5And that someone is....... [15 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 20, 2014 21:03215382
13To Jasef [214 words]RLTJun 20, 2014 22:10215382
1Josef who [68 words]josefJun 21, 2014 08:24215382
to Josef [230 words]JosefJun 22, 2014 02:05215382
14To Josef - and the technicolor DREAMcoat!!! [350 words]RLTJun 24, 2014 01:03215382
4be sensible@josef [307 words]standfreeJun 24, 2014 11:44215382
2Desperation & Uncertainty--Canadian Woman [13 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 30, 2014 12:26215382
1Thank you for your kind offer Josef [144 words]ChristineJul 2, 2014 10:03215382
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1Stopping Support and Using Drugs [149 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 23:06215382
2The Possibilities, Egyptian Girlfriend? [355 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 23:59215382
1the art if love and deception [57 words]Kriss NovakJul 3, 2014 10:53215382
2To Christine! [413 words]RLTJul 6, 2014 22:18215382
1DO NOT GO EVER: Nichole [203 words]standFreeJul 8, 2014 11:23215382
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3TRUE LOVE OR FICTION.... :/ [372 words]LynnJun 12, 2014 01:45215337
6You are being scammed Joan [52 words]IsisJun 18, 2014 20:04215337
TRUE LOVE OR FICTION [18 words]Arianna quinnJun 24, 2014 20:48215337
1Verdict: FICTION [978 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 2, 2014 23:45215337
your man in fes [40 words]janeJul 5, 2014 22:32215337
Is Everything Okay [7 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 7, 2014 20:49215337
name [19 words]JaimieSep 3, 2014 02:14215337
1If you even need to come on here and ask..... [4 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiSep 8, 2014 22:42215337
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3Once again - you met him online [50 words]IsisJun 12, 2014 19:43215321
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1Don't believe anything that can't be proved . [29 words]NeSep 18, 2014 18:01215321
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8Advice for Julie; Bizness [269 words]LinaJun 9, 2014 05:52215301
7Meeting in Germany, British Woman, Tunisian Man, Relationship, Fling, Holiday [243 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 9, 2014 22:27215301
5Thankyou [250 words]JulieJun 10, 2014 02:42215301
2Thank you Lina [178 words]JulieJun 11, 2014 01:35215301
1Luigi [40 words]JulieJun 12, 2014 03:36215301
5egyptian men [990 words]angeleyesJun 7, 2014 04:40215281
8Falling for gigolos [224 words]LinaJun 9, 2014 06:14215281
17Mentality of Muslim Men [219 words]TrishaJun 3, 2014 10:30215230
6Trisha [157 words]standfreeJun 4, 2014 00:06215230
4really all muslim men are that bad? [112 words]Danielle AbdelhamidJun 13, 2014 13:58215230
3Still crying [522 words]libelulaJun 15, 2014 14:09215230
2If it really is that great for you [20 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 16, 2014 22:16215230
1one more thing to be careful of [193 words]AnnaJun 17, 2014 00:10215230
Please give me info [14 words]W.W AlsharJun 17, 2014 22:16215230
really all muslim men are that bad? [3 words]AquarianJun 18, 2014 15:51215230
3To Danielle Abdelhamid [26 words]LisaJun 19, 2014 01:55215230
8To Danielle [289 words]RLTJun 20, 2014 16:27215230
3danielle [625 words]standfreeJun 24, 2014 15:49215230
2Emotional Abuse [210 words]Jae TJul 1, 2014 00:15215230
Iranian man [54 words]SaraJul 3, 2014 14:08215230
1Iranian Man, Finnish woman, Similar Experiences & Admitting the Truth: Dating because of Age & Race [200 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJul 6, 2014 22:45215230
1I can relate to you "still crying" [190 words]RelateJul 15, 2014 14:40215230
To Trisha [104 words]MariaJul 24, 2014 04:11215230
18My 2 Cents [1554 words]
w/response from Daniel Pipes
StandfreeJun 2, 2014 04:45215191
2Stay safe [23 words]ChrisJun 5, 2014 06:01215191
1islam doesn't teaches for any wrong doing. [92 words]shahid shaikhJun 27, 2014 19:59215191
1To Naive Woman or Anyone Else who would like to talk [15 words]LisaJun 1, 2014 20:41215179
4Waste of Time and Having a Broken Heart [145 words]LisaJun 1, 2014 13:04215166
6So depressed :( [702 words]Naive womanMay 30, 2014 20:07215126
Egyptian Man Just Vanished.... [354 words]BrokenMay 29, 2014 14:48215105
3Forget Him and Move On---Mysterious Relationships and Knowing Everything, American Woman, Egyptian Man [172 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 31, 2014 21:24215105
5Thank you [94 words]BrokenJun 1, 2014 14:57215105
1Answer to why he vanished [10 words]IsisJun 1, 2014 20:17215105
4re. vanishing egyptian man [97 words]LinaJun 1, 2014 20:46215105
2He vanished because.... [123 words]saminaJun 2, 2014 09:02215105
4So grateful [227 words]BrokenJun 2, 2014 15:12215105
1vanishing egyptian man [359 words]saminaJun 14, 2014 11:42215105
2marriage [14 words]Robin DoyleMay 28, 2014 03:07215045
can I believe him [169 words]LindaMay 25, 2014 07:22215003
5To Linda [67 words]IsisMay 26, 2014 23:24215003
3can I believe [122 words]layla ahmedMay 27, 2014 06:40215003
2Be cautious until you spend time with him in person [88 words]RCMay 27, 2014 12:01215003
3To Can I believe him [116 words]LisaMay 27, 2014 12:39215003
9Steer Clear! [177 words]SuziQMay 28, 2014 09:31215003
5Too Many Warning Signs & ---On-line "Pen Pal", Algerian man, British woman, Tunisia [826 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 28, 2014 20:31215003
5Age difference is a red flag [51 words]BudMay 29, 2014 04:42215003
in the same boat!! [64 words]adriMay 31, 2014 00:11215003
4Run for the hills [275 words]ShadiyahMay 31, 2014 02:06215003
3To Adri [41 words]LisaJun 1, 2014 12:30215003
2Being Decisive and Making the RIGHT Decision [159 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 1, 2014 13:22215003
1To Adri [561 words]Standfree2014Jun 2, 2014 17:21215003
Steer Clear [10 words]BabJun 12, 2014 12:33215003
1advice from a foreigner who married an egyptian. [215 words]trynthiaJun 14, 2014 04:31215003
Third Party Support [26 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 16, 2014 22:26215003
1muslim men [566 words]JoanJun 23, 2014 16:14215003
Too Soon To Tell? [156 words]KristyZJul 7, 2014 16:40215003
1What to Think---American Woman, Algerian Man, Younger Man, Older Woman [372 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiAug 13, 2014 00:46215003
1Moroccan man Soufiane? [12 words]IsabellaMay 18, 2014 01:01214870
3Why even bother [30 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 18, 2014 21:07214870
Yes [7 words]ZinaMay 19, 2014 17:52214870
1Yes I know a man called Soufian [28 words]AmandaMay 23, 2014 14:22214870
soufiane [10 words]chintheMay 28, 2014 14:29214870
Response to ZINA [11 words]IsabellaMay 30, 2014 02:02214870
Luigi [48 words]IsabellaMay 30, 2014 02:05214870
1Love and Trust [284 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 31, 2014 21:49214870
3If you are involved with Soufiane [57 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiJun 1, 2014 13:25214870
Response to Amanda Soufiane [16 words]IsabellaJun 7, 2014 20:38214870
Initials for Soufiane are S.L [5 words]IsabellaJun 8, 2014 22:33214870
Yes i do as well from Fez [7 words]joanJun 16, 2014 01:53214870
Mahmoud Ibrahim Sharm [16 words]lisaMay 14, 2014 14:00214826
1If you even have to ask.. [22 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 16, 2014 00:43214826
10Deceived [319 words]ChristinaMay 14, 2014 08:22214823
2Consequences of actions [70 words]AndyMay 19, 2014 12:26214823
2egyptian man [162 words]starMay 30, 2014 09:17214823
1Christina advice for non muslim women [121 words]samJun 2, 2014 11:09214823
7Pregnant By a Muslim and Terrified [495 words]NewLifeMay 10, 2014 06:47214765
4Immediate Advice ---Bad Relationship & Suicide [270 words]Straight_Talk_LuigiMay 10, 2014 23:58214765
5to NewLife [185 words]LinaMay 12, 2014 06:49214765
9Get away! [121 words]LizzayMay 14, 2014 08:54214765
RE: Immediate Advice [65 words]NewLifeMay 15, 2014 20:33214765
Re: Get Away [71 words]NewLifeMay 15, 2014 22:16214765
Response to "Pregnant by a Muslim and Terrified" [190 words]SueMay 16, 2014 00:50214765

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