New FAA policies

Submitted by pdm (United States), Jan 12, 2010 at 11:17

News Release - FAA policy - effective immediately

Upon entering the terminal travelers will remove all clothing and then each individual will be placed in his/her own cage to be loaded and transported in the new cargo planes - no windows (for security). No eating, drinking or relief capability will be provided.

If you are carrying a koran, a private jet will be chartered for you - for your security of course. No limit on luggage. Weapons will be permitted, but since you will be the only person on board, we think it quite silly to blow up this plane. Filet Mignon will be served along with the finest cabernet sauvignon - please let the attendant know how you would like your steak prepared. We wouldn't want high strung Americans inflicting unfairness upon you.

Enjoy your flight!

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