Older woman, younger man, cougar, Middle East, Morocco, visa, teenage
Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 10, 2008 at 22:53
Yes, I concur with this. In your opinion, Luigi, it's perfectly acceptable for a man in his late twenties to date a young person but if a woman does so she is deluded or shallow?
I do not recall saying how women who do that are deluded or shallow, I just think that they are usually vulernable and are getting taken advantage of, and/or they do not understand the dynamics of on-line relationships.
Most of the women I talk to on here come because they are not sure, and a big reason is because they cannot interact with the man IN PERSON on a FREQUENT basis. The communication gap ultimately nullfies the natural femine intuition to detect male nonsense that they would pick up on a REAL date.
Also, I have observed that men are much more confident over the internet talking to women than in-person.
In in all, you actually have a good point. Yet, most women date men who are older than they are and those relationships have a much better chance of succeeding in any culture than the other way around.
Face it, Lina, the women on here in their 40s and 50s who think that a relationship will happen with a man my age are deluding themselves.
You say you are a teenager, so I do not really expect you to understand the dynamics of these experienced adult-oriented situations. That's not meant to be an insult, because I did not understand this at your age either.
I've been through this on here before: You can argue with me until you are blue in the face about how younger men and older women should work out. They don't. Most of those encounters end up being flings. The same is true for all these encounters with Middle Eastern men (or men in general) on-line.
If you are looking for a good husband, the chances of finding him on-line are slim to none, even if you go to the ends of the Earth to do so.
I find this attitude rather sexist.
Why am I not surprised---although, this is the first time that someone has played the gender card on here. Usually its the white guilt, racist or islamophobia or that from Luigi's opinions, I can conclude he has not traveled outside the USA.
And before you accuse me of defending my own relationship, I am in my late teens myself, and both I and most teenagers I know would date someone in their mid-twenties at most.
That's funny, a lot of teenage girls I know would even date someone 3-6 years older than me. Probably because, Lina, most of the guys your age still act like little boys and quite frankly, they want a real man. Perhaps that's even why you are on the internet looking for love yourself?
Also, the teenage girls being more mature than boys statement is BS most of the time, trust me, I'm surrounded by girls my age & younger on an almost daily basis and really, they're quite far from mature!
Is that one reason why you spend all that time on-line? Honestly, do you feel isolated? That is a serious question, Lina. Please think about that.
It's funny that Muslim men are frequently portrayed as controlling and sexist on this blog, while back here, Luigi, ...
I've seen bad things written about both Western and Middle Eastern men on here, and honestly, what do you expect? I'm not the one doing it, so if you have a problem with what other people say, take it up with them,
The women and men on this blog have been hurt and those who ceaselessly waste your time defending your "man" and "relationship" have clearly not experienced the type of hurt we have. So if you are expecting people on here to glorify the Middle Eastern male or Islam, you'll have better success elsewhere.
Bragging about your relationship or how great the Middle East is will NOT score you points on here--certainly not with women who have been burned by these men nor even other Muslim posters from there. Believe me, they are as disgusted as I am if not more. Some of them even feel ashamed to be Moroccan or whatever because of it, and they should NOT feel that way. It really is not fair.
There is a LOT of hurt on here, Lina, and I STRONGLY advise you to keep that in mind, ok?
I promise you, you'll get a lot farther with people if you do.
Also note that women on here have substancially more experience than you do. Many of them have already been married once before and some even have kids older than you. If you really want to be an adult, Lina, put yourself in their shoes and see it from their perspective. This kind of stuff is serious business, and it goes WAY beyond high school drama.
You can be straight-talking without patronizing or talking down to the recipient in a holier-than-thou manner. Playing King of the Castle gets no one anywhere.
so noted, but watch the insults, Lina. The mods will edit your posts for you if you don't.
Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".
Reader comments (13254) on this item
Comment on this item
Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum. Daniel J. Pipes